“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

- Marianne Williamson

Okay, I cannot believe I am going to admit this, but I am a convert of the ‘love match’ show Age of Love - 20s versus 40s. I know it’s finished in the USA, and because I’m hopeless at avoiding spoilers I know who won, but can’t help myself. I’m still watching it!

If you have more high brow taste in television (and let’s face it, that’s not hard), you may not be familiar with the premise of Age of Love. This reality show pits women against each other for the affections of ex tennis ace, Mark Philippoussis (affectionately referred to as The Poo here in Oz - charming hey?). Not only do individual women compete for The Poo to choose them, but the women themselves are divided into two groups: the “kittens” - twenty-something buff young ladies, who do not consider an older woman could EVER be competition for them, and the “cougars” - forty-something women who have have kept themselves equally buff, but are still looking for Mr Right.

Now, I agree this is a tacky concept and I have never really watched these kind of dating reality shows before (I’m more of a Survivor fan), but there’s something about seeing women with vastly different life experiences try to outdo each other in a quest to win a handsome, but seemingly boring playboy. It’s all so pathetic and demeaning, I can’t seem to look away. Here’s what’s tickling my fancy about Age of Love - 20s versus 40s:

1. Seeing “The Poo”, whose previous girlfriends have a mean age of about 22, struggle to hide his shock when he discovered that his initial selection pool was made up of women 9-18 years older than him was priceless
2. I’d forgotten how insecure and emotional women tend to be in their twenties. It makes me see there really is a definite plus to getting older. All the ‘kittens’ may be Barbie beautiful but they are almost neurotic in their incessant need to compare themselves to each other. It’s all “Does Mark want me?” “Will he choose me?” Then crying when they it appears as if he might prefer someone else. I felt exhausted just watching them and often find myself screaming at the TV - “Get some backbone for gods sake. Ask yourself do you want HIM!”
3. I have been both fascinated and repulsed by the outright arrogance, bitchiness and manipulation displayed by some of the women regardless of their age. It’s horribly unattractive, but is a definite part of the female psyche for some reason. I am sure that if the genders were reversed and all these men were competing for one woman, they’d be busy having beers, playing video games and probably farting on each other when they weren’t trying to impress their ‘date’.
4. While it is great to see the ‘cougars’ so relaxed with each other and confident within themselves, it makes me realise you really can’t get that fearless approach to love and life without first wearing the disappointments and battle scars that come with that experience. Self knowledge and a sense of where you fit in life comes with age, and it’s hard to rush the process. You can’t learn the lessons of an older women by 25 because you have to live it first. Live it ’till it hurts, then cherish the hurt because wisdom and power can’t come from advice and caution. They’re the pay-off from making your own mistakes, sometimes over and over again…
5. Judging by the kittens’ attitude that the 40-something year old women are past it and shouldn’t even be embarrassing themselves chasing after a young stud like Mark reinforces just how judgmental our society is about a woman’s right to be sexy and desirable at any age. Apparently if we’re over 40 and unmarried or divorced, we’re a failure who should just give up the game. I say no way! Embrace your choices. Do what works for you, and fuck society. Who wants to be a sheep anyway?

So, ladies enjoy the train wreck of bad reality TV, but take some lessons away from this too.

• A woman can be beautiful and sexy at any age. It’s all how you see yourself. Don’t give up the thrill of life and life will keep its thrills there for you

• Enjoy the benefits of advancing years. I may have more lines and grey hairs now, but I know so much more about who I am and what I need than I did when I was 25. And that feels better than a wrinkle free face any day!

• Do not compete for a man. EVER. It is demeaning and gives him all the power. You are unique - no one is like you. Do not stand for people comparing you to anyone else!

• In love, give with an open heart, but only to those who are willing to give as much back.

All women are miracles, most just don’t know it yet.


photo by Arabella

“Express yourself

So you can respect yourself

Hey hey… ”

- Madonna, lyrics to one of my favourite 80’s songs, Express Yourself

This Australian advertisement from the Roads & Traffic Authority is causing quite a stir at the moment. It attracts daily complaints from indignant men who feel it ridicules male drivers. Well, duh, of course!That’s the whole point!The RTA have been open about their desire to change the teenage perception that it’s “cool” to speed. And with over 40% of road deaths speed-related, and teenage males overly represented, I say it’s better to make small penis jokes than lose our impressionable teens. So buck up lads! If you don’t speed, why the bruised ego?

Have you ever regretted not finishing school or wished you had your dream career? Or maybe those fantasies of traveling the world seem so distant now you have a family. But it’s too late now, right? You’re no kid - you might even have kids - you’re too old to go back and start again now.

Well, a 94 year old Australian woman has just proved you are never too old, and it is never too late. Great great grandmother, Phyllis Turner, received her Masters in Medical Science from Adelaide University this week, possibly making her the oldest woman in the world to receive a Masters degree.

Ms Turner, who left school at age 12, has even been urged to continue her studies and complete a doctorate. While not ruling this out, she has admitted her family would like her to take things a bit easier. If only we all had that kind of energy!

So, next time you catch yourself thinking “what if” and reminiscing over old regrets, grab yourself by the collar and remind yourself of Phyllis. If she can study medicine and she’s in her nineties, then you can do pretty much ANYTHING. Education is the one of the most empowering gifts a woman can give herself. Whether it is for career purposes or to stretch the mind and invigorate the soul, education truly sets you free. It gives you options and shows you a limitless world, and when you are old and less able, you will have the serenity of knowing you fulfilled your potential and gave life your best.

So take a deep breath today and ask yourself - “what have I been telling myself is impossible”? If you knew you could not fail, what would you do with your life? If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do? If this all sounds ridiculous, then start small. Maybe you’ve always envied women who were comfortable shaking their thang on the dance floor - so join a dance class. Once you stretch yourself and your perception of what you can achieve, you will find even more ambitions open up to you. Who knows where your life could go.

Now, isn’t that an exciting thought?