I never saw the 40 year old Virgin, but if that movie was as funny and true to life as Knocked up, then I might just be a Judd Apatow convert. Knocked up is the story of loser stoner, Ben and his lucky night of passion with the beautiful and successful, Allison, and the ensuing pregnancy that forces this mismatched couple to look at their future with new eyes.

Ben is the boy who has become a man, but hasn’t noticed yet. He lives in a stinking, bong infested house with his four mates, and his idea of a job is the upcoming lunch of a website that tells people how much nudity is in a film, and when they can expect it. Allison, on the other hand, is an up and coming E News! reporter who’s just promised to “tighten up” her buns for an opportunity to go on camera. Instead she ends up with a bulging bra cup, baby bump and widening ass.

Knocked up is not the kind of film I would normally see. The trailer looked frat-boy funny, which is not my thing, but the reviews promised more than a one gag film and this movie was definitely that. It is testament to Apatow’s skilled direction that a movie relying on “boys will be boys” humour also manages to be both insightful and emotionally compelling. It would be easy for Ben and Allison to be written as common caricatures, the princess and the frog, but Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen have amazing chemistry and the complexity they bring to their roles makes their coupling surprisingly real. Allison appears to have her life together, but scratch the surface and she’s a grown woman who relies heavily on her uptight older sister. By the time she moves from controlling to hormonally hysterical, it is hard not to sympathise with the socially pathetic Ben, who may have no idea about adult relationships, but he’s trying his best. We are never sure if Allison and Ben are going to make it as a couple, but we hope they do.

Knocked Up is an honest and at times hilarious look at the precarious world of marriage and babies. It will scare any male off who is not up for the challenge and it will warm the hearts of any man who is. Take a date, and do the longevity test. You’ll share some laughs, and it could even prove a revealing look into your future.


photo by PETER KORTE

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“What a wonderful life I’ve had. I only wish I’d realized it sooner.”

- Colette, French novelist

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This week I had my 36th birthday, which has spurred people to ask how I feel about hitting my late thirties, or as my dad kindly put it, “almost 40″ (thanks dad). Now, I thought birthdays were in life’s GOOD basket, but it appears many people view birthdays over 30 as something to dread. Like the passing years are no longer my friend.

This all seems very strange to me because in many ways I am the same girl that turned 18. I may have a husband and child now, but inside I have the same dreams, many of the same interests, the same freckly face, and I’m STILL waiting to “turn into a lady”.

In fact, for me aging has only had its rewards. I am more confident now and happier in my own skin, I don’t compare myself to every woman I meet, and I no longer seek approval from every significant person in my life. And, when I look in the mirror I see what most people say to me - I have changed very little over the years. Close examination may show the beginning of fine lines, but studying your face an inch away from the mirror never does anyone any good.

So even though I am now double 18 and my post baby body could do with some fine tuning (joined the gym so working on that now), I say forget this “getting old” business. Decide today, no matter how many years you’ve been around, that you are a BABE and deserve to be worshiped, especially by yourself.

Remember…

• Sexiness does not have a use by date. It is 99% attitude. So, stop looking at your stretch marks or your frown lines and claim your BABE-NESS today. You are unique and there is so much about you to love and be in awe of. The first step to being sexy is believing you are sexy

• Do not read ‘womens magazines’ or any publication that tells women they are only acceptable if they look a certain way or are a certain size. According to these self proclaimed experts, no woman is good enough. Celebrities are revered in one issue, then scorned as too too skinny or too fat in the next, so what hope do the rest of us have? It’s time to grow up and stop buying in to the trashing of other women. It’s not smart, it’s not funny and we all suffer when another woman is picked apart and degraded

• A lot of how you look is genes and lifestyle.The first you can’t do anything about, so why think about it. The second, is all under your control. Now, I won’t be preaching about good diet and exercise here because I’m not particularly disciplined with either. What I do know is you must get enough sleep, and smile and laugh as much as you can. Both are great stress relievers and spread lots of feel good endorphins through your body. Sex is good too…

• Don’t buy into all that “I’m too old for…” bullshit. You’re never too old for a rock concert, a low cut dress, a backpacking trip, or even for dancing on tables if that takes your fancy. So many people seem to have children, ’settle down’ and then give up all the things they used to enjoy doing. LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. I am not saying tastes don’t change, they do. But, don’t let other people’s opinions or your fear of looking silly change how you live your life. Maybe that disapproving neighbor or work mate has always been a stick-in-the-mud. Good on her. She can settle down for a night of knitting while you carve up the dance floor to a bit of 80’s Madonna!

• Express your feelings so anger and resentment can’t fester and make you bitter. Bitterness is very unattractive and causes LOTS of wrinkles. Unexpressed anger and hurt is also more likely to make you binge drink, eat compulsively and medicate yourself with illicit substances (some vices I have given up over the years). Put down the bottle, the donut and the joint, and have a rant instead

• Don’t obsess too much about your looks. They’re only one part of you, and the rest is so much more interesting

• DON’T start with cosmetic enhancements too young. This includes botox. Women who start tampering with their face in their 30s often look unnaturally strained, slightly freaky and old before their time. There are better ways to stay young. Check the face of your nearest yoga instructor over 40. You will find a woman with the muscle tone of a 20 year old and an inner glow that can’t be bought in a bottle. I know it sounds trite, but aging really is all about the inside. Besides, if you mess with Mother Nature too much, you’ll piss her off and she’ll turn on you.

• Find love anywhere you can, and I don’t mean the sexual kind. Friends, partners, family, good times, shared experiences - these are what life is all about. The more you connect with others (especially those who knew you when you were young) the happier you’ll be in the present, and the more joy you’ll have to relive when you’re old and confined to a rocking chair all day

• Stay away from people who invalidate your feelings, appearance and/or choices. Life is too short to hang out with people who make you feel like crap, even if they’re your family. And GOOD MEN DO NOT CRITICIZE. If you are with one of those insecure types who have to rip you down to make them feel better, stop taking their abuse NOW.

• Life is an adventure so BE BOLD, LIVE LARGE, THROW YOURSELF INTO IT. The more you stand around worrying about your nails or your hair, the less fun you’re having, and the less fun you’ll be to hang around

Reclaim your life, enjoy yourself more, be the person the child in you dreamed of being. This is the only way to look and feel BEAUTIFUL FOREVER.

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Lately, I’ve felt a niggle inside. At first, it was a little niggle, but over the past two weeks it seems to be growing by the day. What is this niggle? Call it intuition, call it mental illness, but I “feel” CHANGE is in the air.

Now, I will concede that with my 36th birthday on my door step, this change could be due to one of those life freak-outs where you grab your cheeks (a la Macauley Culkin), evaluate your choices to date and question whether your life is going in the right direction.

I’ve felt this way ever since I returned from Thailand. Firstly, I haven’t been so relaxed in years, and secondly, it was so nice to be out there LIVING, instead of sitting here at a computer copy writing for clients, researching, writing blog posts and working on my novel. And herein lies my problem. My life has no balance; I am chained to this key board. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love writing. I HAVE TO COMMUNICATE. However, it strikes me that the less you get out there and live, the less you have to say.

Roseanne Cash said “The key to change … is to let go of fear”. The assumption being that CHANGE is rarely comfortable. This is a biggie for me, and probably for many of you. How often do we stay in an unsavory situation simply because we can’t see any way forward? Or, we can, but we wouldn’t want to take it. It’s just too scary.

I’ve known people happy to bitch about their job for years, rather than actually hunt for a new one. And that’s a job. Imagine what these people are like when it comes to their relationships! We’ve all heard about women who stay with their partners even though they are physically and emotionally abused. People who haven’t experienced this situation cannot fathom why this would be, but I can say from personal experience that in many cases it goes back to the reasons why people hesitate to change any area of their life. The fear of the unknown is far greater than the pain of the now.

The question is, how do we get around this? What if we don’t want to be scared anymore? If we don’t want to take it?

The answer is not a simple one, and no one solution fits everybody. I prefer to face my fears head on and come out fists flying (so to speak), but others like to duck and weave, evade their opponent Mr Fear and hope they can get out of the ring without him noticing. The one thing I do know is you must decide that you want to change. Then open your arms up and ask for help. Ask God or the universe or even your higher self, whatever works for you, but ask for help. Say, I want something better than this. Show me the way. Then get out of the way and look out for what comes by. You just might be surprised.

I have many questions in this life, and not all the answers. Hoping some of you may be able to share your wisdom for navigating the sea of life change. I’ll be here at my keyboard waiting…

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I say “YES, YES, YES”.

One of my girlfriends sent this to me today and it gave me an outright cackle.

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Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day the girls decided that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent time playing with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the gym before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom. she heard a muffled noise inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

“No way”, the blonde exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday”.

Photo by NYCArthur

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“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”

- Louisa May Alcott, Author

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