This week I had my 36th birthday, which has spurred people to ask how I feel about hitting my late thirties, or as my dad kindly put it, “almost 40″ (thanks dad). Now, I thought birthdays were in life’s GOOD basket, but it appears many people view birthdays over 30 as something to dread. Like the passing years are no longer my friend.
This all seems very strange to me because in many ways I am the same girl that turned 18. I may have a husband and child now, but inside I have the same dreams, many of the same interests, the same freckly face, and I’m STILL waiting to “turn into a lady”.
In fact, for me aging has only had its rewards. I am more confident now and happier in my own skin, I don’t compare myself to every woman I meet, and I no longer seek approval from every significant person in my life. And, when I look in the mirror I see what most people say to me - I have changed very little over the years. Close examination may show the beginning of fine lines, but studying your face an inch away from the mirror never does anyone any good.
So even though I am now double 18 and my post baby body could do with some fine tuning (joined the gym so working on that now), I say forget this “getting old” business. Decide today, no matter how many years you’ve been around, that you are a BABE and deserve to be worshiped, especially by yourself.
Remember…
- Sexiness does not have a use by date. It is 99% attitude. So, stop looking at your stretch marks or your frown lines and claim your BABE-NESS today. You are unique and there is so much about you to love and be in awe of. The first step to being sexy is believing you are sexy
- Do not read ‘womens magazines’ or any publication that tells women they are only acceptable if they look a certain way or are a certain size. According to these self proclaimed experts, no woman is good enough. Celebrities are revered in one issue, then scorned as too too skinny or too fat in the next, so what hope do the rest of us have? It’s time to grow up and stop buying in to the trashing of other women. It’s not smart, it’s not funny and we all suffer when another woman is picked apart and degraded
- A lot of how you look is genes and lifestyle.The first you can’t do anything about, so why think about it. The second, is all under your control. Now, I won’t be preaching about good diet and exercise here because I’m not particularly disciplined with either. What I do know is you must get enough sleep, and smile and laugh as much as you can. Both are great stress relievers and spread lots of feel good endorphins through your body. Sex is good too…
- Don’t buy into all that “I’m too old for…” bullshit. You’re never too old for a rock concert, a low cut dress, a backpacking trip, or even for dancing on tables if that takes your fancy. So many people seem to have children, ’settle down’ and then give up all the things they used to enjoy doing. LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. I am not saying tastes don’t change, they do. But, don’t let other people’s opinions or your fear of looking silly change how you live your life. Maybe that disapproving neighbor or work mate has always been a stick-in-the-mud. Good on her. She can settle down for a night of knitting while you carve up the dance floor to a bit of 80’s Madonna!
- Express your feelings so anger and resentment can’t fester and make you bitter. Bitterness is very unattractive and causes LOTS of wrinkles. Unexpressed anger and hurt is also more likely to make you binge drink, eat compulsively and medicate yourself with illicit substances (some vices I have given up over the years). Put down the bottle, the donut and the joint, and have a rant instead
- Don’t obsess too much about your looks. They’re only one part of you, and the rest is so much more interesting
- DON’T start with cosmetic enhancements too young. This includes botox. Women who start tampering with their face in their 30s often look unnaturally strained, slightly freaky and old before their time. There are better ways to stay young. Check the face of your nearest yoga instructor over 40. You will find a woman with the muscle tone of a 20 year old and an inner glow that can’t be bought in a bottle. I know it sounds trite, but aging really is all about the inside. Besides, if you mess with Mother Nature too much, you’ll piss her off and she’ll turn on you.
- Find love anywhere you can, and I don’t mean the sexual kind. Friends, partners, family, good times, shared experiences - these are what life is all about. The more you connect with others (especially those who knew you when you were young) the happier you’ll be in the present, and the more joy you’ll have to relive when you’re old and confined to a rocking chair all day
- Stay away from people who invalidate your feelings, appearance and/or choices. Life is too short to hang out with people who make you feel like crap, even if they’re your family. And GOOD MEN DO NOT CRITICIZE. If you are with one of those insecure types who have to rip you down to make them feel better, stop taking their abuse NOW.
- Life is an adventure so BE BOLD, LIVE LARGE, THROW YOURSELF INTO IT. The more you stand around worrying about your nails or your hair, the less fun you’re having, and the less fun you’ll be to hang around
Reclaim your life, enjoy yourself more, be the person the child in you dreamed of being. This is the only way to look and feel BEAUTIFUL FOREVER.









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Right on. You are my hero!
Thank you ladies, glad you enjoyed it.
VERY well said!
Awesome article!! I’m turning 30 this year and I’m going to be celebrating instead of dreading it!
Amen, to that, Kelly! I turned 40 last summer, and although I did have the occasional “Oh my God, I’m turning 40!” moment, I’m happier with myself and my life than ever before. Life just keeps getting better.
I’ll be 41 in a few months and it doesn’t faze me in the least. What did really throw me for a loop was my oldest son turning 21 a few weeks ago, because, like you I don’t feel much different than I did at 21 so how the hell could I possibly be old enough to have a 21 yr. old son?! I still have a hard time wrapping my head around that one. LOL!