Have you ever done something bold? Something exhilarating, terrifying. Something that required a courage and a determination you never dreamed possible? Maybe it was parachuting, or starting a new business, or getting married to someone you met a month ago. It doesn’t matter whether anyone else would think it’s daring, it’s only important that it was challenging for you.

In celebration of the weekend barreling towards us, I have decided to follow Kailani’s Aloha Friday philosophy (check out An Island Life) and throw a BIG question out to you, my dear readers.

 

What is the Most Daring Thing You Have Ever Done?

For me, it would have to be my solo backpacking trip to Mexico and Guatemala in 2002. Five months away from my husband, alone in a undeveloped part of the world with basic Spanish and a pack for company.

This trip was truly the making of me as an individual, and while it was very difficult to leave my husband of four years (he didn’t want to go), I knew in my heart that you can’t put your life and your dreams on hold to stand beside someone else while they live theirs.

My husband was passionate about his business, and I had changed careers from Marketing to English Language Teaching in order to pursue my passion for travel. Of course we always thought our dreams would somehow coincide, but at this time it just wasn’t happening. We weren’t ready to buy a home or have a family, and our goals were taking us in opposite directions with a slowly winding path to divorce.

The fact that we are still in love and together six years later, with a son and our own home, is thanks in large part to me taking the reins of my own life. By eschewing the doomsdayers, by being true to myself and pushing through my fears, I had an opportunity to take myself out of my world, to see who I was when there was no one to advise me and back me up.

What I found was a strength and a confidence that I never knew existed. I met new people, had amazing experiences, suffered terrifying ordeals (robbed at gunpoint) and through it all I not only carried on, I thrived. The woman my husband welcomed home five months later had a maturity that never would have existed if I had not dared to take a chance on myself.

Strip everything away and all you have is yourself. I have done this and I can honestly say I am proud of the woman that stares back at me from the mirror. She’s a little nuts, not so predictable, but she has guts and she’s alright.

So dear reader, has any one event been the making of you?

Photo by zackschnepf

PINK’s Stupid Girls interrupted her train of thought, the tinny sound erupting from her mobile as it danced across the desk. Clarissa didn’t have to pick it up to know who was calling her. She glanced down at the clock on her computer screen. 8.45pm.

“Shit.” She was tempted not to answer the call, but she knew Scott would keep ringing until she picked up. May as well get it over with.

“Hi honey.” Her voice sounded strained and overly jovial even to her own ears. “I’m leaving now.”

She stood, tucked the mobile into her neck and started collecting the papers from the desk.

“You haven’t left yet? I’m already at the Roystons. I thought you’d at least be on your way.” She heard a thump and imagined him slamming his fist against the steering wheel.

Clarissa grabbed at her briefcase and started throwing her files into it. Slamming the MacBook closed, she squashed it in with the files.

“I’ll be in a cab in five minutes, at their front door in twenty. See you then.” She disconnected before he could continue.”Shit. Shit.”

She had completely forgotten about the Roystons. She hadn’t even picked up some wine. Maybe they could stop on the way. She was half way to the elevator, pulling on her coat as she walked, when she heard her boss, Lex, start shouting.

“Wayne Crook is a hack. I want him on the next plane back to Sydney.”

Clarissa grimaced. Obviously Lex had heard about their star presenter’s on-location meltdown. It was hot gossip in the tea room, and while Clarissa was surprised by the news, she was also relieved Wayne wasn’t working on one of her projects. She noticed Lex was out of his chair and yelling. She quickly turned away. Not quick enough.

“Lissa!”

She waved and put her head down, stabbing the DOWN button, hoping he’d let her go.

“Lissa, get in here.”

Clarissa looked longingly at the elevator. So close. With a sigh she hurried back to Lex’s office and stuck her head around his door. “I’m on my way out. Can it wait ’till Monday?”

Lex motioned for her to sit down. Claire moved into the overcrowded office and settled herself on the edge of a hard backed chair, the sour smell of cigarettes heavy in the air.

“We’re fucked on the Discovery Prehistoric Creatures job.”

Lex leaned back in his chair, a deep frown an ugly stain on his face. “A crew in Cairns, some fucking park ranger ready to be interviewed, crocodiles fucking all around, and our presenter in the hospital having some kind of breakdown.”

“I heard. Danny will sort it out.”

Lex looked dubious. “My grandmother has more balls than Danny. I need you to provide back-up. You’ll fly to Cairns tomorrow.”

Claire’s stomach dropped. Not another lost weekend. Scott was going to freak. “I’m sure that won’t be necessary. I’ll phone Danny on my way home.”

Claire tried to sound calm and confident. “I think Tony Hop is free at the moment. Maybe he can present. We’ll be back on schedule by Monday. We’ll lose a day, but we’ll make it up when the shoot gets back to Sydney.”

Lex snorted, his large nostrils flaring. “I’ve heard that before.”

Claire held Lex’s eyes coolly. “Don’t give it another thought. It’s taken care of. I don’t need to go to Queensland.”

He opened the manila folder in front of him and pushed a pile of budgets and schedules towards her. Papers fluttered into the air and splayed out like a numbered collage. “And who’s gonna pay for these delays, hey? Do you know how much a day of idle camera crews is going to cost me?”

Claire said nothing and shifted her eyes to a spot behind Lex’s head. She wasn’t going to argue with him.. If she kept her mouth shut, he’d soon run out of steam. She focused on the bland cream walls and the disjointed cluster of celebrity stills, and wondered if there was any point in reminding her boss that she, Clarissa Watts, was the best damn Production Manager Life Productions had. If she said she could do it, the job was as good as done.

Clarissa put in the hours, she knew the schedules, the cash drains, the gripes, the petty rivalries and all the illicit gossip. Lex, on the other hand, was a has been. A red faced drunk. A fat slob more interested in beer and pies than the production company he had founded twenty years before.

Lex was still complaining about money and moving on to bitching about the editor on the job. He shook out a cigarette and picked up his lighter. “So I told Pam that I’d fire her ass if she ever did that again.”

Claire tuned out and prayed he’d finish soon. Lex lit the cigarette and coughed out a trail of smoke and a mouth full of spittle. Disgusting. She had to get out of there.

“So, I’ll call you tomorrow about Prehistoric Creatures.” Claire stood and picked up her briefcase.

“Step out on the balcony with me.” Lex nodded at the door to his private balcony. “I want to talk to you.”

He stuck the cigarette in the corner of his mouth, clamped down on it with his teeth and gave the rusted double doors a solid pull with both hands. They snapped open and a strong gust of chilly air hit Clarissa in the face.

“Lex, it’s really quite late. I have to…”

“Only take a second.” Lex leaned against the railing. “Come on, just stand in the doorway so I can see you.”

Clarissa turned to check the clock on the wall. 9pm. She was going to be so late. But, what could she do? She moved to stand near the door, the chill making her shiver.

“How long you been with us now, Lissa?”

“I don’t know,” Clarissa said wearily. “Four years maybe.”

Lex nodded. “I’ve been thinking, it’s about time you became a Senior Production Manager. How’d you like to oversee all the Discovery series as well as continue that travel show thingy of yours.” He snapped his fingers, searching for the name.

“On the Edge with Jack McCoy.”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

Clarissa stared at him, speechless. “Wow, I don’t know what to… I didn’t realize we needed another Senior.”

Lex took a deep drag on his cigarette and blew a trail of smoke rings at the doorway. “We don’t. I’m letting Francesca go. I told her today.”

“Why? Francesca’s a fantastic SPM.”

Lex shook his head dismissively. “She doesn’t have the time or the energy for the work since she had those brats of hers. She’s always wanting flexible hours. Turns her fucking phone onto voice mail all the time, and you can’t get her anywhere near a meeting on the weekend. It’s just not working anymore. We tried, but the fact is television is no place for mothers.”

Sadness settled like a weight on Clarissa’s chest. Francesca Spiteri had employed and mentored her throughout her entire time at Life. She was patient, fair and worked as hard as any of the men. And where did it get her? Fired at thirty seven because she’d dared to have two children in the last three years.

Lex was watching her closely, his deep set eyes looking black in the night, a cloud of smoke circling his head. “So, you want the job or not?”

Claire shrugged. “I don’t know what to say. This has kinda come from left field.”

Even as she said it, she knew her stalling wasn’t about the job. An unwelcome sense of loyalty to Francesca was circling inside of her, and then there was the matter of Scott. There were no prizes for guessing what he would think of the job offer. Every Senior Production Manager at Life Productions worked over seventy hours a week. Scott rarely stayed at the office past 6pm.

Lex frowned and tossed the cigarette stub onto the floor of the balcony. He ground it out with his boot heel. “Listen, don’t do me no favors. Jimmy Daniels would give his left ball to become Senior Production Manager for Discovery, so if you’re not up to it, don’t worry about it. I’ll set someone else up.”

He patted her shoulder as he walked back into the office and took his jacket from the hat stand. “Shut those doors will you.”

He walked from the office without looking back. “See you Monday.”

Claire stood rooted to the spot. What had just happened there? Had he offered her a job and then rescinded it all in one conversation? She felt the vibration of her mobile in her pocket. Scott. The clock now said 9.15pm.

Suddenly it hit her. This was her life. Her job was the only thing she was really good at. The only part of her life that was hers alone. She ran from the office and towards the lift. “Lex,” she yelled. “Lex, wait!”

He put a hand out to stop the elevator doors from closing. “What?”

“I’ll take the job,” she puffed, feeling a knot start to tighten in her stomach. “I’d love to be the new SPM.”

Lex grinned, flashing crooked yellowing teeth. “Of course you will. I never doubted it. See you Monday.”

Claire stood there panting, trying to collect herself as the elevator doors closed. She should feel excited, happy. Instead, all she felt was heavy, tired, depressed. She’d managed to sell out a friend and her husband in one fell swoop. What a way to end the week.

She checked her watch again and hurried back to Lex’s office to collect her briefcase. No time to think about it now. She had a sulking man to placate.

Photo by meyshanworld

You may have read my post for New Year, where I talked about my primary goal for 2008: to write consistently and hopefully sell a short story or novel.

So far, I’ve managed to keep up with blogging a few times a week, but my old enemy, FEAR, has prevented me from fulfilling the promise I made to start writing some short fiction, finish my novel and maybe start on a new one. There’s no point in keeping all these stories on my hard drive and looking at them longingly, is there? They need an audience. People to read them, enjoy them, critique them. People like you.

As of tomorrow I will be posting a piece of short fiction every Wednesday. This story or excerpt will feature a female protagonist (main character) who is struggling with all the issues you and I wrestle with, whilst trying to be the best woman she can be. She may be a mess, she’ll definitely be conflicted, and I’m hoping she’ll resonate with most of you.

Some fiction pieces may be one offs and others may run as a serial. I may even take plot requests, so tell me what you want to be reading. And if anything feels like it has a life of its own, or attracts a good audience, well maybe it will be turned into a novel.

I’m counting on you to work with me here. I need your feedback. I need your support. Come on this journey with me and I will endeavor to write fiction that inspires and moves you.

Photo by moriza

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world…We are all meant to shine, as children do…. And as we let our own light shine,we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Curse in Miracles

I started SHE-POWER to provide inspiration and life tips for women.

In today’s world, there are many messages telling us who we are and how we should live. Experts seem to pop up daily with the secret to lasting health, happiness and success. I don’t want to join that list. I don’t claim to have all the answers, because I believe you already have an inner wisdom that knows what is right for you.

Somewhere deep inside you is a voice and an intuition that speaks the truth of who you are and what you need. This voice is the only guide you need ever follow, but often the challenge is in learning to trust this voice.

At SHE-POWER, I want to help you tune into that inner voice, push through the inevitable fears and reach out for the life you deserve. This is not about being rich or famous or even necessarily achieving anything spectacular. I am talking about being authentic, about being happy with your choices, and proud of who you are.

I want you to feel excited about your life and its possibilities. To know that you are on the right path and have something unique to offer the world, something only you can give. There is nothing better than knowing we are flowing with life. We are open; free to love and be loved; at peace with our heart and filled with the satisfaction that comes from making the most of the life we were given.

SHE-POWER’s sole purpose is to provide writing and inspiration that speaks to the all-knowing wisdom inside you. The YOU who knows everything. I hope SHE-POWER will encourage you to dare to be different. Dare to be YOU. To challenge your fears and push through the rules and harsh expectations that you put upon yourself. To truly step up and claim the kind of amazing life I believe we were all sent here to enjoy.

I hope you will join the SHE-POWER community and together we can cross this great earth in unison. Looking for inspiration. Laughing at our follies. Sharing our strengths and supporting each other the whole way.

Photo by neloqua

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

- Margaret Mead, Cultural Anthropologist and Author

Photo by Danny Hammontree

I love trivia and learning new things, so I tend to read far and wide. The following is a list of 25 Fast Facts About Women Around the World. Some are quirky, some serious, and others are just downright depressing. I tried to offer a balance of each, and hope that there’s something to make you smile, as well as something to make you think.

Here’s the 25 that got my attention and made the list.

1. 80% of the 50 million people around the world who are affected by violent conflicts, civil wars, disasters, and displacement are women and children

2. In 2004, 48.8% of the seats held in parliament in Rwanda were held by women. Contrast that to Cuba where 36% of the seats were held by women, and the USA, where 14.3 % of the seats were held by women. Saudi Arabia and the Solomon Islands are just two countries where there are no women in parliament (UNDP, Human Development Report 2004)

3. In 76 countries, less than half the eligible girls are enrolled in secondary school

4. Women own only 1% of the world’s land

5. Approximately three million women in the USA sport tattoos

6. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee

7. 43% of Australian marriages end in divorce. of those who remarry, 65% of them will divorce again. By the time you try for marriage number 3, your chance of getting divorced is about 75%

8. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth

9. It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary

10. In parts of Malaya, the women keep harems of men

11. The two highest IQ’s ever recorded (on a standard test) both belong to women

12. In Kenya where 38% of the farms are run by women, those women manage to harvest the same amount per hectare (2.47 acres) as men, despite men having greater access to loans, advice, fertilizers, hybrid seeds, insecticides. And when women were given the same level of help, they were found to be more efficient than men, and produced bigger harvests

13. Over half a million women die in childbirth every year in Africa and Asia

14. Nearly 1/2 of all Indonesian women have had their first child by the time they are 17

15. In the USA, unintended pregnancies account for almost half of all pregnancies

16. According to The World Health Org., 40 per cent of girls aged 17 or under in South Africa are reported to have been the victim of rape or attempted rape

17. In Sweden, 76% of mothers work, the highest percentage in the developed world

18. Australia, New Zealand and the US are among a handful of governments that do not require women to be paid some form of maternity leave. In countries as diverse as Russia, Colombia, Laos and Morocco, the government foots the entire bill for three to six months of maternity leave

19. By age 55, 95% of all U.S. women have married

20. In 2007 the world’s richest self-made woman was Ms Zhang Yin, a Chinese paper recycling entrepreneur

21. Only 5% of Hollywood feature films are directed by women

22. Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they’re sold door to door, by women

23. Seventy percent of women would rather have chocolate than sex (Poll taken in a 1995 women’s magazine)

24. Australian women have sex on the first date more than women the same age in the USA and Canada

25. China is considered the next big marketing opportunity for the tobacco industry because only 3.8% of Chinese women smoke, compared with 63 % of adult males

When you research the state of women around the world, I am sad to say that finding inspiring facts and figures is difficult. There is much that I left off this list, simply because I didn’t want to send everyone into a black mood for the day!

We may look around at progress in developed countries and feel women are better off than they’ve ever been, but we are such a minority. The story is completely different for much of the world’s women, who are suffering from the same persecution, and deplorable health and living conditions that they’ve endured for centuries. I’ll try to remember that the next time I’m complaining about my life.

If you have access to a computer, shelter, breakfast in your tummy and are able to read this, then you already have so much to be grateful for.

Have a great day.

Kelly


Photo by elchapincito.

Hi guys

I’m in the middle of changing my blog design at the moment, so PLEASE EXCUSE ANYTHING THAT IS WONKY with this site. if you’re new here, it’s not always like this. Really, it’s not. I’ve just been wanting to make some minor design changes for awhile and today I thought I’d give it a shot.

I am a complete novice at HTML and CSS, so I’m still working out the kinks, but I’m getting there, and I love learning new things. However, that said, if anyone can tell me how my footer has managed to suddenly lunge at my header in a most inappropriate way, well I’d be most grateful if you’d email me.

Back with a new post soon.

Kelly

POSTSCRIPT: I’ve managed to get the footer out of the header. Yay! I’m really feeling quite the html guru at the moment. At least until I get stuck again anyway…

Have you ever felt that you bust your ass taking care of your kids, the house, the shopping, the children’s activities, school fund raising, the bills, the budgeting and more, yet somehow your efforts go unnoticed?

Maybe not all the time, but after awhile when everything runs like clockwork, your husband might forget that someone actually creates the comfortable family life he enjoys. He might stop saying thank you for those favorite home cooked dinners. Or be baffled that you didn’t get his coat dry-cleaned in anticipation of the unexpected cold spell that has swept through town. Don’t you watch the weather forecast for the next week and prepare everyone’s wardrobe in advance?

Eventually, most moms, especially those who are at home full-time, start to feel taken for granted. It’s to be expected. Motherhood is a full service profession: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with no tips. And unless you’ve raised kids and managed a household yourself, it’s unlikely you’re going to really ‘get’ the work (and the stress) involved. So, while we should cut ungrateful or misinformed husbands a break every now and then, when it all gets too much, I suggest we take a leaf out of this lady’s book. It might be the best wake-up call a family needs that MOM IS A LEGEND!

———————————————-

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill,or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out of the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’

She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?’

‘Yes,’ was his incredulous reply.

She answered, ‘Well, today I didn’t do it.’

Priceless!

Photo by undream

I’m going to be honest. I am a big cynic when it comes to Valentines Day. And no, it’s not because my husband never remembers. He does. He’s great with stuff like that. He is just as likely to remember our wedding anniversary as I am, and sometimes when the whim takes him, he’ll even buy me flowers for no reason at all.

The reason I think Valentines Day is a crock is because after fifteen years spent in and out of marketing and promotions, I just can’t pretend I don’t see the dollar signs in those wilting over-priced roses and melting heart shaped chocolates. If Valentines Day is about showing someone you care, you shouldn’t wait for one day a year to show your love. Try doing something nice for your partner today. Anything that makes their life easier or brings a smile will do. You don’t have to save yourself for grand gestures. Think small and achievable.

Bring in the washing

Cook dinner

Give them a head massage

Show an interest in whatever is important to your partner and really listen to them

Kiss and cuddle on the lounge instead of watching television

Notice something helpful your partner does all the time and say thank you

Look deep in their eyes and tell them you love them

Run a bubble bath and share it. If this is not feasible, share a shower

Make love anywhere but the bedroom

Give your husband or wife a few hours away from the kids on the weekend. Let them do whatever they want, and afterwards don’t harp on about how difficult it was for you

These are just a few ideas to get you started. Use your imagination. Actions that show your love and appreciation mean so much more than gifts. And saving your love and affection for one money spinning day a year is not only meaningless, it’s a sure way to kill romance. Be spontaneous. Embrace each other. Make Valentines Day every day.

photo by bitzi

With FIVE GRAMMY AWARDS and a rocking Grammy performance under her belt (albeit via satellite), does 2008 herald the return of Amy Winehouse?

This music devotee hopes so, because despite her recent troubles, Amy Winehouse deserves to be more than a the equivalent of a tabloid car crash. With her unique fusion of soul, jazz and hip-hop, Amy has a voice that begs attention with its emotional depth and range.

From the silky, elegant tones of You Know I’m No Good to the gutteral rawness of Rehab, Amy Winehouse has created a musical masterpiece with her album, Back to Black. Add to that her signature style - a tattooed, Cleopatra version of Betty Boop - and a feisty demeanor reminiscent of Janis Joplin, and you have a truly unique musician.

I first fell in love with Amy Winehouse’s music a year ago, and since then it has been depressing to see the media go from celebrating her distinctive music to salivating over her spiraling drug problem and seeming lack of dignity. As I pointed out in my Britney Spears article, there are many problems with this kind of celebrity media obsession, but the tragedy with Amy is she is now more known for her self-destructive behavior than her music. My guess is a lot of people who see Amy in the tabloids have no idea who she is. They only know the sad spectacle her life has become.

Let’s not forget Amy Winehouse is more than a quick headline or a shocking photograph. She’s a person with all the fears and anxieties the rest of us have, plus a crazy new level of fame that no one trained her how to deal with. Intensely creative people are often prone to addictions, depression and needy behavior. She’s hardly the first, and she won’t be the last.

Sometimes in life we get lost. We don’t trust our innate sense of what we need, and we lean on the wrong people who are themselves incapable of leading us back to our true path. Amy Winehouse and her incarcerated dead-beat husband are a perfect example of this kind of unhealthy co-dependency.

Luckily for Amy, and all of us who have ever lost our way in life, EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY. Every day we get to choose how to define ourselves, and falling down in life is nothing to be ashamed of. We all fall down and behave in ways we later regret. This is how we learn who we are and what life is all about.

Only, some of us have our demons aired to the entire world and are subjected to ridicule. Not only does this create the illusion that a single event or mistake defines a person, but it destroys an already fragile person’s sense of self.

I hope 2008 is the year of Amy Winehouse, the Comeback Queen. I hope these Grammy wins convince her that she deserves saving. Everybody does.

In a world full of MTV plastic pretty girls and big bad Hip-Hop dudes, we need the originality of Amy Winehouse. If you have no idea who Amy is beyond the world of tabloid trash, then check out You Know I’m No Good. Pure genius.
Photo provided by vulnerableeyes