Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?

I came across this image on Photobucket and liked it, partly because of the sentiment, mostly because of the delicate sweep of the downcast eyes.

These eyelashes look like they’re frosted and they remind me of the butterfly kisses my son and I exchange. If you don’t know what butterfly kisses are, it’s when you put your eyes up close to someone else’s and flutter your eyelashes with their’s. It’s such as soft and flickering sensation, it’s like butterflies dancing across your eyes and cheeks.

The verse also stuck with me because it centres on an ideal that has danced off and on through my consciousness over the years and that is, “Do I believe in love at first sight?”

When I was a child, like most girls, I did. I believed one day I would meet the one and he would throw rose petals at my feet, slip diamonds on my fingers and sweep me away to live in his mansion where I would be kept in a style that I was keen to become accustomed to. Yes, this poor kid was only interested in a Prince Charming who was rich.

As I grew, this image of Prince Charming was influenced by raging hormones and morphed into that of a sexy rebel biker boy. Someone sweet, but misunderstood, who would throw a tattooed, careless arm across my shoulders, and kiss me until I was breathless, while whipping me around on his Harley Davidson motorcycle. Funny enough, this is a pretty good description of my first love.

Then, a few years into this relationship when the downside of the rebel biker became all too evident, I yearned for the soulmate. You know, the one you look at across a crowded room and just KNOW they are the man for you. The one your heart has been waiting for, the one who will know what you’re going to say before you say it and adore every little thing that you do.

The soulmate stage didn’t last long and 1.5 broken hearts later, I became a cynic. It was much safer I decided, than all this waiting around for men with bikes, white horses and soulful eyes. I decided lust was as good as you could hope for most of the time. In fact, it was better than love because you could trade in the object of your lustful attention for a new model every weekend if you wanted to.

Yes, I thought I had it all sorted. Nameless trysts, dancefloor pashes and hot taxi cab gropings. After all, I was a modern girl with a successful career; much too sophisticated to believe in fairy tales.

Then I made a simple decision to move to new share accommodation, and my life changed forever. I met a man who was quite unlike anyone I had ever known, and from the moment we shook hands I felt like I had known him my whole life, and maybe other lifetimes too.

He was too stereotypically good looking for my usual taste. And though I liked the fact that he was dreamy, philosophical and a talented musician, I was also confronted by his intensity. He always looked deep into my eyes when we spoke, he listened - really listened - and he encouraged me to challenge myself and pursue my dreams.

He seemed so perfect, yet so flawed, I didn’t dare hope he was real. So we became friends. But as the months went by and my interest in lusty trysts grew less and less, and the time spent with my flatmate grew more and more, I came to wonder if friends do indeed make the best lovers. Considering that this man has been my husband for almost 10 years now, I would say the answer is yes.

Back to the original question, I don’t know if I believe in love at first sight. Maybe some people have the ability to know what they need in a blink of an eye, but me, I need time. Love is something that has always taken me by surprise.

I do believe in Connection at first sight. But love, I’m not so sure. Love is a mysterious thing. It sprouts out of nowhere, can endure great hardship, then die so swiftly, so silently that it leaves you gasping and ruined in its absence. I think I am probably too guarded to believe in romantic ideals, but I am also too in love with my husband not to hope that our love has some kind of cosmic blessing.

In my definition, my husband is my soulmate because he’s my best friend, my lover, my sunshine, my shadow, and my parent in arms. He can definitely finish my sentences and guess what I’m thinking, but then after almost 12 years together that could be because he knows me like no other. And that’s romantic, isn’t it?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Tagged as: dating, love, marriage, relationships, Sex & Romance, soul mates