For previous articles in this series, see How I Lost 9kg and Still Ate Chocolate Cake (1) and (2).

Losing weight and getting fit is great, but the real reward and challenge comes in maintaining these achievements over time. So far I have discussed the importance of the following changes for sustainable weight loss:

Accept the body you have. Love and respect it the way it is

Find your weight loss motivation and make a conscious decision to change your life

Move more. Find exercise you can enjoy. Have fun. Throw yourself into life

Enlist a friend or a trainer to kick-start your exercise habit

Think long term and persevere, even when you can’t see the results you would like

In this third and final article in the series, I want to focus on the importance of our relationship with food and body image. It’s true that exercise will improve your health no matter what, but if you’re serious about weight loss you’re going to have to take responsibility for your diet at some point. You’ll also need a plan for dealing with your ongoing feelings about your body and the motivational and emotional challenges you are bound to face. So, without further ado…

Set achievable goals. Be realistic in your expectations

I like to live in dream world as much as anyone, but when you want to achieve a goal which is important to you and has ramifications for your long term health and wellbeing, it makes sense to throw a bit of reality into the mix.

Set goals and expectations for yourself that you honestly believe are achievable. This isn’t a matter of dreams and possibility here. We’re talking about how to get you from Point A to Point B, and the best way to do that is with baby steps. If you like to sleep in and haven’t worked out since high school, then I would suggest it is a stretch for you to commit to a 7am training session five days a week. This might be your long term goal, but it’s too hard an ask for a beginner, and will only set you up for failure.

Confidence and perseverance is crucial to your long term success, so build motivation by empowering yourself with small successes. Using the previous example, start off by setting a goal of two 7am workouts a week. This way you’ll find it easier to maintain and after a few weeks you’ll be feeling pretty damn proud of yourself. This taste of success will not only motivate you to continue, but it will make it easier and more believable for you to move your goals and performance expectations to the next level.

In contrast, the original goal of five daily workouts means anything less than that may leave you feeling demoralized at your ‘poor’ performance. This could even become an excuse to stop altogether. Don’t set yourself up for failure by making the bar of expectations so high that there’s no room for error. Help yourself succeed with realistic goals.

The same goes with your eating habits. You’re going to have to make a decision regarding your weight loss goals, and that decision needs to take into account your natural body shape, how you want to live, and your entrenched eating habits. What are you prepared to give up for a slim, fit, healthy body. Beer? Cakes? Pizza? Don’t set the goal of being super buff and trim if you don’t want to make the sacrifices that are entailed. Pick up any magazine and you can leaf through it admiring celebrity bodies, but you can bet these people worked their buns off to look like that. Hours at the gym, pilates classes, no carbs after 3pm etc… Is that how you want to live your life?

If it is, get moving and I wish you well. Me, I want to feel strong and look good, but I know that I won’t be giving up cake in order to be my thinnest possible self. I find too much discipline stifling, so I’ve settled for a rounded, fit version of myself rather than a lean one. My weight loss goals are about bettering my life, so I don’t see the point in wasting my energy fighting my body, my tastebuds and my personality when I’d be so much happier learning how to live with myself.

Develop a new, balanced eating plan based on fresh ingredients. Allow for your weaknesses and don’t deprive yourself too much

I love food. It is one of life’s great pleasures, so dieting and the restrictions it involves are just impossible for me. Even taking into account that I focus on long term health and fitness, this area of my weight loss journey is by far the hardest. It’s not that I am a particularly unhealthy eater; I’m not. I find it easy to eat a balanced diet and enjoy lean meat and fresh vegetables. I don’t eat McDonalds or anything from those kind of fast food chains, and my biggest fatty indulgence would be the occasional dinner of fish and chips.

But I am a sugar addict. There’s no doubt about it. I crave chocolate every day, and if I give into those cravings, even a little, they get worse. For example, the chocolate that goes with Easter is my idea of heaven and I don’t worry about my weight at this time. The trouble is once Easter is finished, I’m still left with the taste for chocolate and I spend the next few weeks trying to get my cravings under control. If I can make three to four days with no sweets, things will usually improve and my willpower can kick into gear, but those first few days are hellish. I’d happily eat chocolate and cheesecake for every meal if it didn’t make me sick. Actually, I have made myself sick and I wasn’t a kid at the time. Like I said, I’m an addict.

If you can eat three low fat meals a day and not junk out on chocolate, chips, hot-dogs or the like, then you’re going to find it a lot easier to slim down and stay that way. In fact, I don’t know why you’re reading this article. You probably don’t even have a weight problem! However, if you’re like most of us and relish your “naughty” foods, then don’t worry there is still hope for you to be fit and healthy.

Food is both fuel and enjoyment so you need to structure an eating plan which satisfies both needs - energy and psychological satisfaction. If I tell you that you should be a vegetarian but you love meat, how is that going to help you? Are you really going to give up meat for the rest of your life, just so you can lose weight? What you need is an eating plan you can live with. Not just for today, but for next week, next year and in another ten years. That’s why crash diets don’t work. They deceive you into thinking some strict, measured eating plan is going to solve all your problems, when really it’s a bandaid measure that hides all your unhealthy habits. What you need are new eating habits which support your health goals while accommodating your guilty food pleasures.

What works for me is a diet of all things in moderation, and I try to keep meals as unprocessed as possible. That way I enjoy a variety of meals, can control where my calories are coming from (processed food has so many invisible sugars and fats) and I’m fueling my body with natural, life giving food. Less chemicals and more nutrients makes for a happy, energized body. Luckily I live in Australia where I have so much access to fresh ingredients.

I also grow herbs and have a full spice cupboard and I mix up white meat with fish and red meat. I balance carbohydrate heavy meals (rice/pasta) with lean protein and low GI foods like steak and salad. I have accepted my weak areas are sweets and night snacking so instead of denying myself completely, I try to work around it. I rarely touch crisps, pies, or cream sauces, or any other savoury high fat food because I know I need to save my calorie bust outs for sugar fixes. One could say that’s weak, but I prefer to think of it as pragmatic. Again, I’m changing my lifestyle long term and aiming for a mostly healthy diet to complement my exercise routine. I’d rather exercise than go without in the food department.

I could go one for ages with the details of how I’ve structured an eating plan to build new habits, and satisfy health and all my family’s individual tastes (my son has food allergies too - such a pain), but that is probably best saved for another post.

See and feel yourself Fit. Celebrate your Achievements

Often the image of ourselves in our head when we’ve been heavy in our life is that of a “fat” person. We carry this fat person around with us and even when we’re doing well and losing weight we’re paranoid about any change that is seen as taking us in the other direction. We act and think like a person with a weight problem.

An important part of beating this unsupportive relationship you have with your body is to start seeing yourself as a person who takes care of themselves, who exercises, who’s getting fitter all the time. Put images of how you want to look on your fridge and imagine it, feel it. When I first started running I actually used to chant “I’m slim, fit and strong” over and over again. It was under my breath so I didn’t freak out the neighbors, but it it did keep me motivated. Now I am at the point where I actually enjoy the run so I don’t have to do it so much.

It’s also important to celebrate your achievements and all the hard work you put in. By patting yourself on the back, you’re building your self esteem and making it much more comfortable for you to reinvent yourself and your body. I like to take the time at the end of a workout to relax, do a few stretches and simple yoga moves. This unwinds my body and mind, and provides me with the space to really appreciate the gift of youth and good health. In these moments, when my skin is slick with sweat, my heart is beating fast and my muscles are tingling, I feel so alive and strong it is amazingly empowering.

Be kind to yourself. Forgive your failings. Break the criticism habit

My last point is related to weight loss, but more importantly it’s a lesson to learn about life. We are all human beings trying our best so give yourself a break. Don’t expect perfection from yourself or others. It’s impossible. We all have weaknesses and we all disappoint ourselves sometimes. I put on 1-2kgs again over Christmas, and at Easter I think I put on 1kg or so, but I soon lost it when I kicked back into routine. It’s not a big deal. Thin people fluctuate too and you’re one of them now, remember?

Decide today to be a better, kinder friend to yourself. You are the one constant in your life, so if you spend it criticizing and tearing yourself down it’s going to be one long and miserable journey. In my first article I talked about learning to love and accept yourself the way you are. A crucial part of this is changing the way we think, and the language we use when talking about ourselves. Watch the words you use to describe yourself. Would you talk to someone else like that? Do you look in the mirror and think degrading thoughts about your body or your appearance? Or do you never look at yourself at all?

Try to look for something you like about yourself when you’re brushing your teeth or getting dressed or catching sight of yourself in the mirror. If you find yourself focusing on ‘faults’, take a deep breath and try to clear your mind. If you can’t, stop and walk away. Do something to keep you busy. Try again later. Think baby steps and commit to finding a way to love yourself for how God (or nature) made you.

Remember that everything takes time. Changes can’t happen overnight. I used to be a terrible perfectionist and in my own eyes I rarely measured up (to what, I don’t know), but these days I have stopped looking in the mirror and zeroing in on my faults. I feel like I have found a new level of self-acceptance and it leaves me feeling a lot lighter and happier in my day to day life. I do believe exercise plays a big part in improving body-image because you know that you’re taking care of yourself and there’s achievement and improved my self-confidence in that. Along with the added rewards of better muscle tone, better health and more energy.

So, that’s it. How I lost 9 kg in a very big nutshell. It has actually been a revelation for me to get all the changes from the past year out of my head. On one hand, it’s uncomfortable because I don’t feel I am a poster child for weight loss, but on the other hand I can see how far I’ve come. I have struggled with my weight for twenty three years, and finally I feel like I might be winning. I have been thinner in the past, but I have never been as balanced, as fit and as at ease with myself and my body as I am now. And I couldn’t ask for more than that.

Best of luck with your own journey to weight loss and good health. It is worth the change and the discomfort. Most of all, YOU are worth it.

Photo 1 by Jennie R.F
Photo 2 by neloqua

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