A Little Funny – 9 Words Women Use

by Kelly on April 21, 2008 · 35 comments

in Humour,Women. Beauty. Feminism

9-words-joke-otter.JPG

I haven’t posted much humor lately, so I thought I’d put this up today because for some reason it really tickled my funny bone. It’s an oldie, but a goodie.

I think my husband has been hearing a lot of loud sighs and “Don’t worry about it” recently while I’ve been organizing our son’s birthday presents and celebrations. He can be very perceptive about picking up on my feelings, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he also heard the silent “Fuck You’s” as well. Then again, some of them may not have been that silent.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

Loud Sigh

This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks

A woman is thanking you, do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

Whatever

Is a women’s way of saying FUCK YOU!

Don’t worry about it, I got it

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but she is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?”

For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Photo by wwarby

  • Subscribe to SHE-POWER and receive FREE site updates!

{ 4 trackbacks }

Listanity
04.22.08 at 8:35 am
Listanity
04.22.08 at 8:36 am
9 Words Women Use « Colorado Right
04.25.08 at 2:32 am
Top Stumbles - Best of StumbleUpon
04.25.08 at 11:08 pm

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

1 MonkMojo 04.21.08 at 5:58 pm

My wife just said with a sigh:

“Fine, whatever, go ahead and stay on the computer another five minutes, don’t worry about it, I’ll take out the trash.”

I said “Huh? I didn’t understand you; I am trying to write a comment on She-Power.”

Calmly she replied, “Oh, it was nothing”

Suddenly I felt a chill in the air…

MonkMojo’s last blog post..The Path of Circular Reference

2 range 04.21.08 at 8:25 pm

It’s also the way that women say these things. For example, my wife will sometimes say “Nothing” when I ask her what’s going on. I usually ask this when I know that she is upset for some reason.

range’s last blog post..Global Freeze Map

3 Kelly 04.21.08 at 9:11 pm

Monk, you crack me up!

Oh, and I’d start running if I were you.

Range, it’s true women are complex creatures. But that’s what makes us mysterious and captivating, isn’t it? Or just plain annoying depending on your mood.

Kelly

4 qma 04.21.08 at 9:57 pm

Hey, my husband uses those words also. Oh, now I wonder what he really means.
He does use “Fuck You,” and my answer has alway been “Right now?” ha!

5 demone 04.22.08 at 1:03 am

Whatever, Nothing and Don’t Worry about it are all SOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!

LOL

6 Vered - MomGrind 04.22.08 at 2:28 am

Funny. :)

I showed this post to my husband, and he said that these are all different forms of being passive-aggressive. He might have a point there. I’ve been working on being more direct with him and just telling him what I want.

Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Co-Sleeping Today, Overweight Kids Tomorrow

7 Lorien Shaw 04.22.08 at 3:51 am

An important she-phrase was left out, and simply MUST be included in future iterations (Ten Words…) The phrase “You know, you’re right” used as an end statement to any discussion or argument. Similar in intent to the man’s use of “yes, dear,” though considerably more complex in meaning. With “Yes, dear” a man simply wants the woman to shut up, but the use of the phrase “you’re right” means the woman has figured out a way to use your own logic against you and achieve the result she originally sought. Be very afraid if you hear a woman say “You’re right, I should do that…” This is definitely cause to shudder uncontrollably with fear. :-)

8 bill 04.22.08 at 4:06 am

Oh, okay….(g)

bill’s last blog post..Está lloviendo como infierno

9 Obbop 04.22.08 at 3:36 pm

What foolish male would allow a female to enter his life in the first place?

Who wants to tolerate emotion-laden irrational illogical females?

Oh, okay, the young lads ARE hormonally-driven to pursue one of the few things females have to offer but, once that stage of one’s life is past just
try to ignore the hussys.

If you can successfuly avoid procreation and marriage thus minimizing financial entanglements a guy can have many wonderful happy years without suffering the banality of the female of the species.

10 CactusPete 04.22.08 at 3:45 pm

You are watching a great movie; after dinner; with a woman; you are really into it; no one in their right mind could not be into it. It is a great flick Out of friggin nowhere she says “when are we going to get flowers for the flower pots; we really should do that”….. uhhhhhhhhhh, good thing you have Tivo. But, the movie is now f+++ed. Women just do not get it; they have no clue when to comment; their minds are off somewhere else. So, why is anyone surprised by any of these words and their supposed meaning? Dudes,,, come on… admit it… we mostly ignore them and their bullshit.

11 Kelly 04.22.08 at 3:51 pm

Definitely I think men do use these words, and of course there can be an element of passive-aggressive in using them. I think the important thing is to try and be as direct as possible in articulating your feelings to a partner MOST OF THE TIME.

That said, everyone who knows me would say I am a very direct person and still sometimes I will resort to a grunted “Fine.” I think when you’re negotiating children and many responsibilities and timetables it is inevitable that you will run up against each other and disappoint and frustrate your loved ones. Sometimes they may call you on it, other times a fight is avoided by someone saying “That’s okay” through clenched teet and then going for a good stomp around the house.

Kelly

12 JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You 04.23.08 at 12:34 am

LOL!!!
You know what kills me?!

That every single thing you listed here is a perfect translation as far as I’m concerned. In fact, I feel so exposec! I had to laugh a heart laugh 😀

JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You’s last blog post..An InMyHeels Note: Thank You Kelly of She-Power.com!

13 Cath Lawson 04.23.08 at 2:09 am

Great stuff Kelly. I’ll be showing my husband these, as I don’t think he understands any of them.

Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Does Your Business Feel Like A Prison?

14 Chris Austria 04.23.08 at 2:25 am

Kelly–I now these things too well, especially the 5 minute part or “It’s Ok”…
Monk–You’re too funny!

Chris Austria’s last blog post..Children Are The Cause Of Global Warming

15 kevin 04.23.08 at 8:25 am

in total honesty…. if it werent for sex…., cave men would NEVER have come back to the cave with the kill. they would have kept following the herd and women, as a gender, would have gone extinct millenia ago. without sex, your complexity, mysteriosity, and captivatingness wouldnt be worth putting up with. never forget that.
but in this post, they forgot one thing to mention…. when you and your wife are deciding where to eat dinner.. and she says “you decide”…thats code for… you parrot suggestions like a braying jackass while i say… “NO, not there”… till you are so exasperated you say…THEN YOU PICK A GODDAMN PLACE.. and THAT’S what they were after… she just wants to say NO about your suggestions… she didnt really want to go out to dinner in the first place.

16 Kelly 04.23.08 at 8:55 am

I just wanted everyone to know I have approved some of the more misogynist comments for balance and to include a range of interpretation of the post. The gentlemen before me (or a better term might be JERK) has been edited because some of what he wrote was just foul, but I didn’t delete him as I did a few others because his words do make a point. Anyone who was abusive with nothing to say got deleted.

Kelly

17 John 04.23.08 at 11:22 am

i just say make me a sandwich. Ends an arguement and i get a sandwich

18 secuono 04.23.08 at 12:54 pm

these are 9 statements, not words!! but, ah well….what you wrote is so true though. we all use them all the time. ^.^

19 Chris Austria 04.23.08 at 1:42 pm

I had to come back because I wanted to read more comments. I knew you were going to get a lot of comments on this one. This just affirms that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. And if you can navigate through this, then you have the making of a long lasting partnership, which means that at the hour of your death or vice-versa, someone will surely be holding your hand and say, “I’ll see you later…”

Chris Austria’s last blog post..Children Are The Cause Of Global Warming

20 Louise Pool 04.23.08 at 9:25 pm

Kelly, you approved SOME of the misogynist comments? There were more?

This was supposed to be funny; I certainly had a good laugh at both the words and at Monkmojo’s comments. Interesting, how some people seemed to have gotten upset about it…

Cheers,
Louise

Louise Pool’s last blog post..Sacred Space is Necessary for Your Survival

21 Kelly 04.23.08 at 10:41 pm

Louise

A sad fact of life I have noticed is that some people choose to get upset about anything, or nothing at all. I also never expected to receive so many negative comments from a lightweight post. But then this did make it to the List of Top posts on Stumbeupon this week so it’s got A LOT of traffic.

*clapping hands and doing the happy dance*

Kelly

22 Cassandra 04.24.08 at 12:08 am

I totally agree with this post. I found myself laughing at each and every one of them, especially since I realized I use them all the exact way! I re-played the fights I’ve had with bfs in the past and I gotta say..all of these were used in this context except for the 5 minutes.. I really do mean 5 minutes if I’m getting ready :) But I also can see how eventhough the meanings have been cracked, we could be more direct with our men since it seems so difficult when we aren’t. That way both of us are satisfied.. women get what they want b/c the men for once can understand what the hell it is that they want.

I also couldnt believe how many guys got bent out of shape about this post. Result of bad relationships I s’pose. .. so women are a little cryptic.. and to the men out there that do appreciate a good woman.. the fact that we aren’t the easiest to decipher is what makes us attractive. So bravo.. good, funny post. and true. a lot of this is true.

23 Charlotte (Charmed Life) 04.24.08 at 6:10 pm

i’ve read this before and found it funny! it is funnier now that I am married – and so true!

Charlotte (Charmed Life)’s last blog post..The Path We Have Taken

24 Noa Rose Choose the Present 04.25.08 at 12:29 am

Kellly, wow ,I think your humor was terrific and laced with so much truth those “King of My Castle Guys” were a bit shaken up. The title, she-power, probably spiked their blood pressure too. Their caveman attitude is so yesterday. At least they were venting to you and not beating their wife or out murdering prostitutes. I hoped that particular breed of man was extinct by now, but alas, they live on.
I’m loving your fiction too.

Noa Rose Choose the Present’s last blog post..Children Without Boundaries

25 Geoserv 04.25.08 at 11:09 pm

STUMBLED!

These are so true, good stuff.

VOTED for this post at:
http://www.newsdots.com/oddities/a-little-funny-9-words-women-use-she-power-celebrating-life/

Geoserv’s last blog post..ummm…Sorry? Maybe not

26 elis 04.27.08 at 12:54 am

Ehm. Can’t we just give it a try and be clear on what we mean? I wouldn’t blame my boyfriend for getting upset and confused if i’m unclear like that!

27 Kristen 04.28.08 at 4:44 am

What a fun post! Thank you for visiting Biz Chicks Rule and leading me back here. :) I’m so glad I came!

Kristen’s last blog post..Send Your Resume to Senator John McCain: Show Him Women Are Just As Qualified As Men

28 Man 04.28.08 at 6:11 am

Why don’t women just say what they mean?

29 Nolan 04.28.08 at 12:36 pm

So, this is honestly one of the most hilarious things I’ve stumbled recently and I greatly appreciate you’re humor Kelly, but it’s intensely disappointing to know how many males used this as an opportunity to vent about all their problems with the female gender. I’m not saying that none of the females who posted on this site said anything foolish or sexist out of misunderstanding, because there certainly were a few, but the number of males who ran there mouth off without a moment of logical thinking greatly outnumbers the number of the other gender who did so. Honestly, guys, it’s embarrassing to be male at times like this. Both sides clearly have misunderstood the other for ages and I don’t see why we can’t, as men, resolve the conflict and humble ourselves before them. Certainly, if we did this they would meet us where we were and we could all be reasonable about the matter, but male pride always gets in the way. So, please, fellas, could you try just being a man and ending the argument peacefully? I apologizing for taking this all so seriously, but it just seems to cause way too much trouble.

Now that I’ve regretfully said all that I would like to, again, thank Kelly for her spectacular sense of humor and say that by far the most humorous and truthful ones were numbers 1, 3 , and 9. Thanks again for this, Kelly, and would like to apologize a second time for wasting so much of everyone’s time by writing the paragraph above. However, I appreciate all your attention none the less

-Nolan

30 Anita 04.28.08 at 12:47 pm

he he he, “fine” for me means, “where are my scissors? They’d look great sticking out of your forehead”

😉
Anita

31 justforkicks 05.15.09 at 11:16 pm

Kelly – this was so funny !! I re ran all my arguments that i had with hubby and each one of them is true !!! (except the 5minutes). usually its hubby who takes more than 5 min to dress up!! Its funny to see why they never get it ! I think being direct is the way to go !!

Keep posting more !

Leave a Comment

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: