How I Lost 9kg and Still Ate Chocolate Cake (1)

I love food. All kinds of cuisine - Spanish, Thai, Italian, Turkish - and especially the international cuisine of DESSERT. Oh, how I love dessert.

As well as the taste sensations that food brings, for me it has added significance. Food is love. It makes me feel happy and secure, like everything is okay. I’ve been using food as a panacea for pain since I was a teenager. So, it’s no wonder that my weight has ping ponged up and down throughout my adult life, though it has been much harder to shift since I became a mother.

The beginning of 2007 saw me 12kg (20lb) over my pre-baby weight, and while I’d love to blame that on my son, he wasn’t the one eating chocolate cake!

Every time I saw myself in the mirror I felt depressed. Not because I looked like a whale, but because my face and natural curves were still evident beneath a slowly expanding layer of spongy, marshmallow flesh. It was like the person I knew was slowly disappearing. Not a nice feeling.

I knew I was unfit because walking up stairs was an effort, I was tired all the time and I was starting to feel like a stiff, creaky old woman, whose joints had ceased up and retired. I was in and out of my Physiotherapist’s office and though he kept telling me I needed to strengthen my core stomach muscles, I kept finding excuses why not.

One year later, I have lost 9kgs and I am healthier, fitter and stronger than I’ve been in over 10 years. I actually have muscles appearing and that is so new for me. Better yet, I have become much more resistant to illness. I used to be the first person to get sick in my family (I have sinus problems which tend to make you susceptible to the flu), now I’m often the one whose still standing when my son brings in some horrid virus from pre-school.

The increased strength in my core has also helped my back and shoulder pain, so another bonus is I’ve saved a year’s worth of Physiotherapist costs. I am still a few kilograms over my ideal, but I don’t care because I feel great and I still eat what I like. To be honest that damn cake habit is what’s keeping me from goal weight, but still I always choose dessert over thinner thighs.

So, what changed?

The most important changes were not external; they were made within. I have not discovered an amazing new diet or exercise regime, and I don’t know the secret to unrelenting willpower. Instead, I have reflected on what has been missing in my life and I’ve come to a new mindset and way of being. I have completely overhauled my attitude toward my health, my body, and myself, and that is why this time I am confident that I have found a long term way to stay fit and healthy.

I do not claim to be a poster child for phenomenal weight loss. I was not obese or in a dire health situation. But I do know what it is to struggle with weight and feel like it’s a battle you never seem to win. I know how it feels to be ashamed of my appearance and my apparent lack of willpower, and I know the envy that flairs up when I am with a friend who loves to exercise and has the body to show for it.

The following are the changes I made to take control of my my weight, my health and my life. This is not an exhaustive how-to list for weight loss, rather it’s my personal account of what worked for me.

This is going to be a Three Part Article Series, so today I am going to elaborate on the first two points only. These reflect the inner work I was talking about and I believe they’re the MOST IMPORTANT for permanent weight loss.

Accept the body you have. Love and respect it the way it is

At the end of 2006, I was miserable and doing a lot of soul searching about what I wanted for my future. What did I see when I visualized a happy and successful life?

One of the components in this picture was a slimmer, healthier body, and a ME who was happy with herself, comfortable in her own skin and not constantly tortured by what I might eat that day and how I might look in those new pair of jeans.

Then it hit me. This was a part of my ideal life that I had 100% control over. I didn’t have to wait to feel fit and sexy. This wasn’t going to come with more money or a book deal. I could choose to feel and behave differently today. The question was how to get from being an unfit, exercise despising, food loving, emotional over-eater to that future vision of myself?

The first step was to accept and become comfortable with the body I had. Feeling bad about myself wasn’t going to change me for the better. I had to accept that this body was it, and lucky for me all the parts were working.

I’m quite tall with hips, butt and boobs, so there’s no point yearning for a skinny, boyish figure that I’m never going to have. At my best, I’ve got Marilyn Monroe curves so that’s something to work towards. Aspiring to look like the lean, athletic Cameron Diaz would just be demoralizing and silly.

Learning to love and accept ourselves the way we are is one of life’s big lessons in itself. Too often we place conditions on our self approval. I’ll be okay once I’ve lost 5kg, or when I’ve got that promotion, or when someone falls in love with me. This is holding yourself to ransom and is a sure way to misery.

What if I told you that the person you are today - at this weight, with this job, partner, house - is the person you will stay forever? Would you kill yourself? Wallow in misery and self pity for the next few decades? Or would you give up fighting yourself and just get on with living? That’s all I’m saying. Give up on wishing you were different and find a way to be kind and loving to the person you are today. If you won’t, who will?

This point deserves an entire post in itself and I will do one at a later date.

Find your weight loss motivation and make a conscious decision to change your life

Willpower might help you lose weight, but it won’t keep it off. No one can live in a state of extreme willpower for years. And who’d want to?

If you want to have a fit and healthy body, you must make a conscious decision to eat less, eat well and pursue a more active lifestyle. Not only for today, but tomorrow and forever. This is going to require some changes, push you outside of your comfort zone, so you’re going to need to dig deep and find a long term motivation.

In the past, vanity has been my inspiration for weight loss, though if I’m perfectly honest I’m not sure how much this has ever worked for me. I think I am one of the only women I know who didn’t even TRY to lose weight before her wedding. And I was actually on the heavier side then. So vanity was out.

In the end I went back to the mental image of the perfect me, and what I envied about her was she was fit, energetic, happy and full of life. That’s what I wanted. To feel ALIVE. In contrast, I started 2007 feeling terrible. I was depressed, had chronic allergies and colds, recurring back pain and all I kept thinking was “I’m in my thirties. I’m supposed to be living, not slowly dying!”

Health and wellbeing, combined with a desire to feel young for as long as possible are what I hold onto now when I need a reason to get out of bed and go for a run. I focus on how good it feels to pound the pavement and feel my body working. It energizes me and builds the confidence that I need to get through the hard days. Find a motivation that works for YOU, not your friend, your sister or some so-called expert. You know yourself better than anyone, so what will it take to value yourself with the gift of good health and fitness?

This article was one I found quite hard to write because it documents a very personal struggle of mine, and while I know I’ve turned a corner and am enjoying a new lease on life, I certainly don’t feel like this battle is done. I am not at my goal weight yet and it’s quite likely that I’ll have to work at staying motivated for the rest of my life. What I am hoping is that by sharing this journey with you, I am reinforcing my own motivation, while inspiring some of you on your own journey to weight loss and good health.

Part 2 of How I Lost 9kg and Still Ate Chocolate Cake will be out on Sunday.

PS: I’m sorry to tempt you with the cake photo if you are currently trying to lose weight, but I couldn’t resist. Health and fitness is a life long pursuit and occasional treats of what you love is a part of having an enjoyable, balanced life. This photo clearly illustrates my particular weakness.

Photo1 by Miss Karen

Photo2 by mikebaird

Tagged as: diets, exercise, Goals, Health & Fitness, weight loss, work out