Our First SHE-POWER Man - Clay Collins from The Growing Life
When I started SHE-POWER Women with the beautiful Jemi, I always had in mind that I would do a partner interview series of SHE-POWER Men.
Like the women’s interview series, SHE-POWER Men is about celebrating ordinary men who live their lives in extraordinary, yet simple ways. Men who like and respect women. Men who strive to live with integrity and honesty.
Clay Collins was always my first choice to kick off SHE-POWER Men. His alternative productivity blog, The Growing Life is somewhat of a blogging phenomenon - over 1000 subscribers by the end of its second month. Then there’s his guest articles at blogs such as Dumb Little Man, Zenhabits, Write to Done and Copyblogger, making Clay one of blogging’s new rising stars.
But most of all I chose Clay Collins because he’s a smart and interesting man with a lot to say and a gifted writer with a truly fresh approach. He’s also been a great blogging buddy of mine and has an easy charm and sincerity that I really wanted to capture for SHE-POWER Men. And if you’ve ever read the Dedication to his Grandparents on The Growing Life then you’ll know why I’m voting him Blogging Bachelor of the Year.
Here is Clay Collins talking life, women, blogs, politics and more.
My idea of the perfect weekend is…
Waking up next to someone awesome, going for a run in the arboretum (or a long bike ride), having a picnic outside with friends, listening to some NPR, and doing some writing.
My mother always told me…
My mother is amazing. My mom always tells me to “be good.” The dialogue goes something like this:
———
Me: talk to you later, mom.
Mom: OK, Clay. Be good.
Me: [Sigh]. I’ll be good mom.
Mom: And you know what that means, Clay.
Me: Yeah, mom, I know what that means.
Mom: It means take care of yourself.
Me: I know. Thanks mom. I love you.
———
In this day and age, so many parents coerce their children into getting good grades, obtaining a respectable career, etc. Parents too frequently convey the notion that “being good” means towing the societal line. So I’m eternally grateful that my mom taught me that being good simply means doing what’s right for me and taking care of myself (physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc.). Taking care of myself, of course, also means taking care of others, because doing our part to lift each other up is a basic human need.
My mom also tried to brainwash me into thinking that I could do whatever I wanted to do. She always told me that “you can do whatever you want if you really want it.” For better or worse, the brainwashing attempts were successful.
What’s your favorite blog to read? Which is most overrated?
Melissa Pierce’s blog is damn cool. And my friend Laurie also has a pretty awesome blog as well. This blog is also pretty fantastic. I also really like 1000 Cuts by Monk Mojo.
The productivity/self-development blogosphere has its share of approval-seeking and overly sensitive writers, and it’s nice to see someone having fun with the whole genre. (Yes, it’s true that Monk Mojo’s made me look like a badass but his blog would probably be a favorite regardless). Rolf Potts vagabonding blog is also damn cool. That man’s my hero.
The problem I have with most self-help/productivity blogs is that they flood us with tips (we’ve hit the TIP tipping point and things have gone WAY too far). If I need to acquire a new skill, or am looking for a list of 100 motivation hacks, then I’ll go to Google.
What I want in my feed reader is (1) good & artful writing, and (2) perspective. I’m looking for creative non-fiction.
My most defining moment was…
When I discovered life and my adult self in Ghana, and when I returned from Ghana to Minneapolis and built a new reality. Like Ethan Zukerman, my heart’s in Accra. I want to go back.
Where do you hope to be in 10 years time?
Writing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like so many others, I love writing. I could do it all day. I don’t have issues with writers block, or passion. I just don’t have the time to write 24/7 and a man’s got to make a living. So my dream is to have enough money to feed my family and children, enough time to write, and to be somewhat well-received as an author. It’s nice to know that your work is being read.
What makes you angry and/or sad?
Oh god. HP technical support in Bangalore really pisses me off. President Bush. Military solutions to non-military problems. Hunger really makes me sad because it’s a problem that doesn’t have to exist. Xenophobia, water boarding, and human rights violations also get me worked up.
Do you think men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?
No I don’t. I’d recommend taking a look at two great books: Sperm Wars and The Red Queen.
Do you vote?
Absolutely. If you don’t then you’re partially responsible for this mess we’re in.
If YES, is there anything (eg. a scandal) that would change your mind about your preferred candidate?
Oh sure. If I found out about several covered-up connections between Barack Obama and big business then I’d have to reassess my preference.
Do you regard yourself as a “good catch”? Why or why not?
As always, it depends. I like trying new things so dating me usually involves trying out different camp sites, making new recipes, swimming in new bodies of water, going on impromptu road trips, and good substantive conversations combined with a healthy dose of nonsense.
That said, I’m meeting more and more women these days who are looking to start a family and want a guy to be (in part) infrastructure for their lives (or an enabler for a laundry list of goals). I’m not that guy right now. Someday I’ll want to be a father and when that day comes I’ll probably embrace a more conventional approach to relationships, but until that day comes I’m unlikely to be infrastructure for someone else’s life. I’ll welcome certain things when I’m ready but I’m not there yet.
I really hope that this doesn’t sound misogynistic.
At what point will you feel that you and The Growing Life are a success?
I think it’s already a success and I’m happy with who I am as a person. TGL’s a success because my readers and I are on the same page. When I write something that really resonates with me it also tends to resonate with them. I really didn’t know what to think when I started TGL, but I ended up with 200 subscribers the first month and 800 the second. Everything else feels like gravy. Life is good.
And a Few Questions From The Readers…
What is the biggest change you plan to make in your life this year?
Question courtesy of Cath Lawson
I really don’t know. I honestly haven’t thought about it very much. I’m really not very goal oriented. I’d like to buy a condo and Minneapolis and start laying down very deep roots there, so maybe that’s it.
Settling down, family, marriage: looking forward to, or scared of?
Question courtesy of Vered@MomGrind
Children are great and I’ll happily commit to someone when I’m ready to have children. Probably not earlier. Getting married prematurely, however, scares me sh*tless.
Do you think men remember romantic/relationship events like women do? Eg. First kiss
Question courtesy of Charlotte@CharmedLife
I actually think guys are far more sentimental than women. Guys savor deep emotional connections because they happen much less frequently. So while guys seem to be FAR TOO LOGICAL most of the time, those intense emotional moments are driven much deeper into our psyches because they’re peak experiences.
Was there ever a time when you considered giving up on your blog?
Question courtesy of Chris@WatdaWat
Not really. The whole experience has been great. Sometimes I think I should be spending more time on my book proposal and less time on blog entries, but I don’t think The Growing Life will be going away anytime soon. It’s too much fun, and growing far too fast, for me to put down.
Thanks
Clay
Photo 1 of Clay and friend
Photo 2 provided by StewieD
Photo 3 provided by hjl
I’m your number #1 fan Clay! (swoon)
Gosh, none of my questions got chosen. Haha. That’s okay. =)
Great interview, it’s nice to see a little more into the life behind the man at TGL.
Jonathan Mead’s last blog post..The Cult of Productivity & the Art of Purposeless Living
Clay got my attention with his post dedicated to his grand parents. Now I’ve seen a picture of him with Jewel Staite and I’m even more in awe. It’s great to find such passionate men out there, and I hope to find out more about Clay through his blog. Thanks for the great interview, I think I got some more insights about how men think that will help me understand my boyfriend better.
Nathalie Lussier’s last blog post..Idealize Often, Use a Pedestal With Caution
Clay is an interesting man, for sure.
“I really hope that this doesn’t sound misogynistic.” I don’t think it does. I think that women do feel more pressure to start a family earlier, and they should be looking for men who are in the same place as they are, which usually means older. Clay is still young… I wouldn’t rush into marriage and family before I was absolutely ready.
Vered’s last blog post..Blogging: Not All Comments Are Welcome
Thanks for sharing Clay with us. I’ll have to check out his blog. (It’s amazing, but I hadn’t found it yet.)
Laura Spencer’s last blog post..Of Note: The Urban Muse
Clay is one of my most favorite people on earth, and I only just met him a few weeks ago! You got it right She-Power, he was def. the best pick for your first She-Power man.
Ha! What a fun interview. It’s good to get to know the woman behind the man.
Ok that was a really fun read! 800 Clay? Remember the early blogging buddy days?! Don’t deny me darlllinnnggg! Hahaha honestly - Clay is really refreshing and I fell for his writing style from day one. Another thing - I feel like I’ve witnessed growth. I could see him pushing the envelope - deciding to be himself. And with that came amazing success
Clay I’m so proud - *tear*
and wow Kelly - awesome interview!
JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You’s last blog post..How to Work Amongst Difficult People
@ Jonathan
Sorry mate, but your questions came way too late. Clay already had the questionnaire otherwise of course I would have chosen you.
Kelly
My suspicions are confirmed! After reading this interview, I’m pretty sure that Clay will be cool to hang out with to have a cold one and discuss love, life and literature.
chris’s last blog post..14 Things I Learned While Raising Teenagers
@ Natalie
I loved that post! It’s not very often young men will even acknowledge they’ve got grandparents, let alone publicly write a beautiful article in their honour. I’m a sucker for free spirited men who also love and respect their mothers/elders so Clay’s lucky I live on the other side of the world and am married otherwise I’d probably be over there chasing him. LOL!
And I had no idea his friend was an actress. I’ve never heard of Jewel Staite - I had to look her up. Glad you liked the interview and found it revealing, and if you don’t already subscribe to Clay’s blog get going girl!
Kelly
@ Vered
I told Clay the exact same thing. It’s not misogynist to say what you’re ready for and what you’re not, even if you’re 50! As long as a man does not play games and string a woman along who has said she wants to be serious and get married / have kids, then he’s not doing anything wrong by saying “Sorry, I’m just not ready for that.” And Clay is only 27 soI think there’s plenty of time to take on the responsibility of a wife and kids in his future, if he wants that.
Glad you liked his answer to your interview question and thanks for contributing.
Kelly
@ Laura
Definitely check out his blog. It’s great and I only read productivity blogs which are well written, insightful and/or funny. Clay is all three.
@ Melissa
I know what you mean, I haven’t met Clay yet but I feel like we’ve become good cyber buddies over the past four months and he’s one of my favorite people in the blogosphere. Thanks for stopping by. I’ve never been to your blog before so I’ll come over and say hello.
@ Duff
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by.
@ Jemi
Hello gorgeous! Isn’t 800 amazing? I remember when we first met through StumbleUpon and we probably both had 10 subscribers and that was exciting. LOL. Clay has worked damn hard to get The Growing Life where it is today and it’s been obvious he knows where he wants to go so he deserves every success. I know it does make you a bit teary, doesn’t it? * sniff sniff *
Kelly
I’d never heard of Clay before you mentioned him. But then I don’t read many blogs. I only found you through a friend and you’ve put me onto a handful of blogs which I now like to read, but The Growing Life looks interesting. I’ll have to have a look. Love the interview though and Clay does seem like an unusual guy, and can I say he’s a bit cute isn’t he?
Rachel
@ Chris
Thanks for contributing to the interview and yes, I agree about the cold one. In fact, I’d love to sit down and have a beer and talk life, love and literature with BOTH of you!
@ Rachel
Hello, haven’t seen you around the boards in a little while. Glad you liked the interview and yes, Clay is cute. Though with you being an Aussie I don’t think there’s much chance you can “bump into” him. You should check out The Growing Life, it’s a great read even for someone who doesn’t read lots of blogs.
Kelly
@Jonathan: Married dudes are swooning over me. Awesome! I think you were the second blogger I made contact with (JEMi was the first) so thank you for that! Much respect.
Clay Collins | The Growing Life’s last blog post..Alternative Lifestyle Designing (The Rabbit Hole Tax and Baselining)
@Kelly: Thank you so much for having me here. I remember bumping into this blog and just loving it well before you made the appearance on Zen Habits. Thanks for being a friend and for allowing me to be the first She-Power man. I had a lot of fun responding to the questions. Also, this is my first interview so you’ve totally popped my interview cherry
Clay Collins | The Growing Life’s last blog post..Alternative Lifestyle Designing (The Rabbit Hole Tax and Baselining)
@Vered and @Kelly: I really appreciate your thoughts on the misogynist thing. I think you’re right that the key is honesty and not leading people along. The male gender is in kind of a weird spot right now. Guys have kind of been assholes for a long time, and now some of us are realizing that we don’t want to be like prior generations of assholes and some dudes are compensating by being spineless indecisive pushovers. Which isn’t attractive either. There’s a fine balance in there somewhere, and it has more to do with being a mature and good human being who knows himself and less about gender relations and getting laid. But that’s just my opinion.
Clay Collins | The Growing Life’s last blog post..Alternative Lifestyle Designing (The Rabbit Hole Tax and Baselining)
@Melissa: I’m totally blushing
Clay Collins | The Growing Life’s last blog post..Alternative Lifestyle Designing (The Rabbit Hole Tax and Baselining)
@JEMi: You were the first one to say something nice to me about my blog and I’ll always have you to thank for that. Thanks for being such a good blogging friend :-). We should definitely all get together sometime for a bloggers convention.
@Chris: I’m down for a cold one on the terrace any time. Just let me know when you’re in town.
@Nathalie: I was hoping someone would recognize Jewel! Your awesome cred (and geek cred) just bumped up.
@Kelly: Sadly, Jewel isn’t my friend (though I wish I could say that she was). I just really liked that picture (for obvious reasons). I caught her filming a set on a secluded beach in Costa Rica and just had to get the photo.
@You’re killing me
Clay Collins | The Growing Life’s last blog post..Alternative Lifestyle Designing (The Rabbit Hole Tax and Baselining)
Just wanted to let everyone know I had to make a correction here. Clay had OVER 1000 SUBSCRIBERS by the end of his SECOND MONTH.
But what’s 200 or so people among friends. in fact, you could just pass those subscribers onto me, Clay
Great interview of a soon to be blogging legend. Thanks for sharing another side of Clay.
Jared’s last blog post..When there’s no last page online, how do you find The End?
Clay you seem to be a genuine all round nice guy. I enjoyed your honest answers. Haven’t checked out your blog yet, but am looking forward to it.
Well done Kelly on a great She-Power Man interview.
It would seem that unlike the majority here, I am not convinced. It would have been nice to get the FULL answer to the question about which blogs were overrated rather than what feels like an advert for his friends and other bloggers, and more of a PERSONAL answer to the question about fidelity amongst men and women, not just a book recommendation to another persons opinion. Plus why does he think politely telling HIS truth should be so misogynistic as to feel the need to provide a disclaimer….I dunno…. I guess I just like a bit of grit with my saccharine…..but I shall check him out as Miss She power must recommend him for good reason? Because of She Powers recommendation he will/might get a 2nd chance for a 1st impression. It’s no doubt good to be a positive person but when I DO check him out I hope I don’t continue to feel like I’ve just consumed a whole bag of sugar.
Clay seems like a really interesting guy! Thanks Kelly for introducing such an insightful person!
Thanks Clay for your perspective on romance and relationship.
Charlotte (Charmed Life)’s last blog post..I am a David Cook Believer
@ Charlotte
Thanks for your contribution and it is always interesting to get a man’s perspective on relationships. Usually we pull teeth to get the men in our lives to talk romance at all (I think they’re too scared - too many ways one can say the wrong thing and fuck it all up)
@ Roz and Jared
Glad you like the interview and Roz, you should definitely check out Clay’s blog.
Kelly
@ Daisy
I did speak to Clay about the fact that he didn’t really answer the question about which blogs were over-rated. He was uncomfortable with openly dissing anyone and so decided to be a bit more general and I can understand that. Not everyone wants to throw their judgments out there, particularly as all bloggers know how much heart and soul we writers put into our blogs.
I really appreciate the fact that you obviously READ the article THOROUGHLY and hope you’ll go check out Clay’s blog to see what you think of him for yourself. And as for stopping by SHE-POWER and thinking my opinion of anyone matters at all, well I am absolutely chuffed. So thank you very much, and yes, I do think Clay has some grit with his sweetness.
Cheers
Kelly
Thanks for a really enjoyable interview to read. I have to admit that I had not heard of Clay before this, but have had a quick squiz around his blog, liked what I have seen and subscribed. Thanks for putting me on to The Growing Life
.
PlanningQueen’s last blog post..10 Online Learning Games For Preschoolers
Mr. Collins joins the tea party pulling up a chair next to the Mad Hatter to chat about the white rabbit.
Clay if you’re ever in this neck of the woods, we’ll eat some mushrooms and I’ll take you on a tour some of the local rabbit holes.
Great work Kelly, these are fun!
MonkMojo’s last blog post..Debt Snowball vs Debt Bazooka
I did go to Clay’s blog (as I told you personally) so I guess this is to follow up my previous comment here. It seems like a jolly good read and I will, along with your own and a few more I found today, continue to check him out.
@ Louise
Glad to be able to lead you to another great blog
@ MonkMojo
What about my mushrooms and tour of the rabbit holes?
@ Daisy
Thanks for coming back to say hi
Kelly
HI. First visit your blog, and I started out with a good read!
I’ll be back.
Cheers,
GF
Gunfighter’s last blog post..Girl Scout Night
Hey Clay, Nice interview. Just wanted you to know that you did a good job dodging questions. No, you really didn’t. You handled the killer questions quite well, the settle down and have a family one. You were honest, that’s a huge plus. Too many guys aren’t, sadly. Keep up the Growing Life
Tom Stine | Living from Consciousness’s last blog post..Affirmations? None for Me, Thanks
Kelly, How abouts we drop acid and go crater sledding on the dark side of the moon instead?
MonkMojo’s last blog post..Observations of a Bus Driver: E Book Trilogy Preview
Great seeing Clay here with a whole new addition to this site with the She-Power Men interview series! Definitely a great choice to get him to be the first in this entire new thing.
I’ve mentioned in TGL: Clay, Rock on dude!
Daniel Richard | Winning Everyone’s last blog post..Happiness Friday: Coincidentally Appearing Out of Nowhere to My Friends (Being Candid)
That Clay, he’s traveled far in a short time.
When I first “met” him, he was writing about smackdowns, picking up cows, and ditching his alarm clock, (you’ll have to dig through his archives to find these great posts), and I named him as my “New blog Of The Week” (on my blog). Although he was well on his way, even my crystal ball couldn’t predict such a fast rise to stardom.
Clay is a blogger to watch (I do in my reader). He’ll make you think, he’ll make you react, and he’ll make the young girls (and maybe some older ones too
) swoon. You’ll try to emulate him, but there will only be one Clay Collins. He’s an original.
His “Dedication” post remains my favorite, but as a mother and grandmother, when you read it, you’ll understand why.
Kelly, you scored a biggie with this interview. It will go down in history as the first interview with “Clay Collins, an “A List” blogger”. Like you, I see the writing on the wall with regard to the successful blogger Clay will become.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..No Comment
Nice interview with Clay. Great guy.
Michael Moniz’s last blog post..It is Time to Listen