Warning: This article discusses THEMES of The Dark Knight, but there are NO actual plot SPOILERS

On the weekend I saw The Dark Knight, the new Batman movie, which is an amazing film and not just because it manages to be an action extravaganza with real plot, clever dialogue and some nail-biting suspense. What I really liked about The Dark Knight was that it was intelligent enough to have Musicman and I still talking and thinking about it hours later.

I don’t want to spoil the film too much for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but essentially The Dark Knight is about the fight for Gotham City’s soul. One one side you have Batman and his White Knight, Harvey Dent, the crusading district attorney Bruce Wayne hopes will make his altar ego obsolete. On the other, you have The Joker, a psychotic killer who wants to see Gotham City fall into chaos.

This might sound all very standard super hero fare, but The Dark Knight really examines the notion of evil and the idea that maybe we can all turn to the Dark Side if we are just given a big enough push.

Now I find this a fascinating discussion because…

I believe human beings are inherently good.

I also believe in the power of redemption and the idea that people can change and try to make amends for their wrong doings, even if they are never forgiven or able to undo them.

Does that mean I am oblivious to the bad things people do?

Not at all. I have had first hand experience with human brutality and am familiar with the long and painful process that victims of crime must go through to move on, and in my case, forgive the perpetrators. I do not believe we forgive for the sake of others; to release them from guilt. That is their cross to bear. We forgive to release ourselves and claim the freedom and peace of mind we all deserve to have.

I have also spent months in Central America, where countries like Nicaragua and Guatemala have histories so horrid that to dwell on them is to sink into a pit of despair.

So yes, I agree humans are capable of great evil. It’s like a switch waiting to turn on. The more disconnected you are from the people around you and the innate goodness, love and empathy within, the closer you get to that tipping point.

We are born with a natural capacity for love, a craving for connection. But if we are surrounded by hatred and violence and neglect rather than love, we may learn that our humanity and empathy is a weakness. One that will only be used against us if we let it. This is the fertile breeding ground for evil.

Fear.

Isolation / Disconnection

Us versus Them.

When love is replaced by fear, evil is let in and we we all lose.

Even vengeance, a reason many of us might entertain violence given the right circumstances, is really fear. Fear that there is no justice.

I am a warm hearted, peaceful person, but I think I could turn murderous if someone harmed my child. And I am not talking self defence here because that is not an evil act. But I believe vengeful retribution is, and I can see how I could be pushed to this state. I wouldn’t necessarily think I deserved to get away with my crime, maybe I’d never be able to forgive myself, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it. What does that say about me?

Some interesting quotes from The Dark Knight on man’s capacity for evil are:

“when the chips are down, these uh… civilized people, they’ll eat each other.” - THE JOKER

“some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.” - ALFRED, Batman’s loyal butler

And another classic I have always liked is:

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” - EDMUND BURKE, Irish orator, philosopher and politician (1729 - 1797)

So, what do you think? Are humans inherently good? How thick is the veneer of cvilization? Are some people hard wired for violence? Do you believe you are immune to murderous impulses?

I’ve admitted I’m not.

And go see The Dark Knight. It is destined to be a benchmark in big ‘Hollywood’ films and will go down in history as a fitting testament to Heath Ledger’s extraordinary talent.
Photo by bart234465

If you’re a regular reader, click HERE for my SHE-POWER Birthday post.

If you’ve come from Liz Strauss’ Blog to Show showcase then

Welcome to SHE-POWER.

My name’s Kelly and you’ve come at the perfect time because I’m celebrating my 1 Year Blogging Anniversary, so read on to see where all the kooky and cool kids hang out.

SHE-POWER offers inspiration, everyday wisdom, personality and humor. There’s original fiction and the popular SHE-POWER Interview Series, which puts other bloggers under the microscope and tortures them with questions until they tell us their secrets.

This anniversary post also offers you the chance to score a $30 Gift Voucher from AMAZON if you can give me a fitting tagline for this blog. And if you want to see which articles have proved the most popular with readers, make sure you check out My Top 12 Posts.

Don’t be shy. Say hello. If you’re a blogger, let me know who you are and where you live and I’ll stop by so we can get to know each other better. The more friends in the blogasphere, the better!

Happy Birthday to SHE-POWER

Roughly this time last year SHE-POWER was born. It was not a birth that was accompanied by much fanfare and to be honest I didn’t blog regularly or do any promotion of SHE-POWER until January, 2008.

When I checked through my stats this week (something I never do), I found that I only had 285 unique visits to this blog in 2007. Then in January after I joined StumbleUpon and started commenting on blogs like ZenHabits I jumped to 16,037 uniques, which was a huge thrill at the time. It’s amazing what happens when you actually tell people you exist.

So despite the fact that no one else was reading until 2008, I am going to be literal and celebrate the end of my first year in this particular creative journey. As of July last year I was here toiling away, building my first blog, learning basic code and generally pushing myself into unknown terrain. And that’s always something to celebrate.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank my readers, many of you who have been with me for some months. I may blog in a haphazard fashion with three posts one week, then only one the week after, but SHE-POWER has become a very important part of my life.

YOU have become a very important part of my life.

I have made some wonderful friends here and I find it liberating to share my journey through life and my stories - the words from my heart - with all of you.

Thank you for showing up each and every post. You make the work, the writers block and the time away from my family worth it.

What is SHE-POWER?

I was very excited when I first thought up the name for this site. Not only is SHE-POWER catchy and memorable, but it’s in line with my feminist creed and belief that you must claim your own power in life.

The problem has always been that as much as I love the name SHE-POWER, I have never been entirely sure what this blog is about.

I originally had a vague idea of an empowerment and personal development site geared towards women, but I hit a stumbling block when I discovered I don’t enjoy writing about serious feminist issues and doling out advice bores me.

I didn’t want this blog to feel like work. I wasn’t planning on retiring from its proceeds. I just wanted to kick the promotional copywriter’s voice I’ve lived with for years into the back seat and explore my natural writer’s voice. Get creative. Free up. Throw some of my fiction out there. Have some fun.

Many articles later I am still not sure what I write is worthy of a name like SHE-POWER. I don’t fit clearly into the Feminist, Women or Mommyblogger niches because I blog about pretty much anything.

Love, women, family, travel, music, my obsessions with certain reality TV shows, love of books, finances and goals, my quirky sense of humor, my assorted neuroses and even the embarrassing details of my personal life.

If there is a common theme for this blog, it is:

SHE-POWER is about the search for personal truth, inspiration, and wisdom. It’s about making the most of this adventure called life and having lots of laughs along the way.

The reason my lack of a niche bothers me is I want to re-design my site, but I need a proper tagline first and I can’t think of anything that fits. With my years of marketing experience, you’d think I could come up with a tagline for my own blog, but no. My talents came in handy for Chris at WatDaWat and Mary at GoodLifeZen, but when it comes to helping myself, I come up with NOTHING. Now, I need your help.

If anyone can give me a tagline for this blog that I like, I will give them a $30 Gift Voucher from AMAZON

I realise that’s not a kings ransom, but I have to be tight with my spending now that I’ve spent my son’s university education on a European vacation. So please, if you think you’ve got a catchy line to help explain and sell this blog, give me a shout. I am completely open to suggestions.

SHE-POWER Achievements

As I said earlier, I’m not one for stats. I did have the usual subscriber checking obsession in January, but this soon petered out when I saw how neurotic I was getting. Back then, losing even one subscriber (it’s always a weekend - have you noticed that?) was the end of the world. I’d be sobbing over the keyboard, sculling bottles of wine and generally feeling like I was a shitty writer. I took this to mean stats were not for me.

That said, a 1 Year Anniversary is a good time to check some stats and share some of SHE-POWER’s achievements. So here they are:

I’ve made the Top 10 Posts of StumbleUpon twice, and Reddit once.

According to my WordPress stats, April was my highest traffic month with almost 50,000 unique visitors. I have no idea whether this is ‘good’, but I think I get a lot of traffic for a blog that is only updated 1-3 times a week.

I made the list for the Top 100 Australian Female Blogs.

I went from an Alexa ranking of around 937,000 in February to a high of 197,000 in May.

Leo from ZenHabits approached me to write him a guest post after discovering my blog and reading How To Be A Super Mom. The article that he published, The Users Guide to Fabulous Friendships, was a big profile boost for me and brought in lots of new subscribers. The funny thing was I lost almost half of them within a month, probably because people were disappointed that I don’t write productivity and how-to articles here.

My post on Spirituality and Faith was controversial enough that it lost me 30 subscribers overnight. I take this as an achievement because I very quickly attracted new subscribers to replace them, and if you can’t make people think and feel then why write?

My fiction has been well received and I owe a big thanks to all of you who have emailed me and commented on my creative works. Many of you have been wonderfully supportive and have even linked to my fiction, recommending it, so thank you for that. It is very encouraging.

Despite my one month European vacation and a slack posting schedule either side, I have managed to maintain my subscriber numbers, though obviously my traffic did drop back quite a bit with all that inactivity.

There might be other achievements of note, but that’s all I can think of for now. My subscriber numbers in themselves are nothing to write home about. Except for a brief spike with ZenHabits, I have never hit over 200 subscribers. I’m not sure why, and it does seem strange when you consider 8,000 - 10,000 visitors in a week is not uncommon for me, but then again there’s nothing wrong with a small and loyal following.

12 Most Popular SHE-POWER Posts

Because Top 10 is such a cliche…

The 12 SHE-POWER Posts which received the most traffic, and in some cases the most comments, were:

25 Fast Facts About Women Around the World

A Little Funny - 9 Words Women Use

How to be a Babe at Any Age

Britney Spears is Toxic

How I Lost 9kgs and Still Ate Chocolate Cake Parts 1,2 and 3

What Makes a Good Husband and Father

Do We Need Religion If We Have Faith?

Why I Love Dr. Seuss

SHE-POWER Fiction: Dinner Time Blues

SHE-POWER Women: Vered from MomGrind

My Love Affair With EAT, PRAY, LOVE

Our First SHE-POWER Man Clay Collins from The Growing Life

My post about The Users Guide to Fabulous Friendships would have made the middle of this list, but I didn’t count it because the article was on Leo’s site, not mine. When I put this list together there were definitely some surprises. Shows how unreliable our memory can be. I thought my interview with Jemi had done very well, and it did in comments and on StumbleUpon, but the total traffic for other articles was much higher.

On the other hand, my Dr. Seuss article making the number 8 spot was a total shock. I think it ended up being a slow burner and got increasing page views over time. And of course, I was very happy to see one of my fiction pieces and two of my SHE-POWER interviews in the Top 12 as these are personally very special to me.

I think I have rambled on enough now. For the millionth time, thank you. I’ll be back with my next post in a few days. Hope to see you there.

Kelly

Photo by cleverboy68

I have discovered a great new website for creative folks. It’s called RedBubble, and is a creative community where people with all types of talents can show and share their work.

If you’re a painter, a photographer or a writer, RedBubble aims to provide you with an online space for you to display your work and network with other creative types. It’s easy to set up a profile and I’ve done one for photography. Check it out in the sidebar. I only have a small collection of my work up so far, but keep an eye out for a lot more photos to go on in the next week or two.

If you click on the clothing section there is also a heap of groovy designs which are for sale printed on t-shirts. I think the prices are quite reasonable and I’m planning on buying some for gifts. Musicman likes different stuff so I’m pretty excited to have found this place.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post as SHE-POWER celebrates its 1 Year Anniversary.

Kelly

It’s been awhile since Jemi debuted my SHE-POWER Women interview series, and now I am back from Spain and into the swing of everyday life, I thought it was time we returned to meet a new and inspiring female blogger. Today we are talking to a woman I am honored to call my friend; the fabulous Vered DeLeeuw.

Vered may be new to the blogging scene - her blog, MomGrind only came online in February 2008 - but she has already gathered an impressive following, loyal commenting community and made Alltop’s Best Mom Blogs.

Under the tagline, Mommyblogger Wannabe, Vered writes about family, finance, blogging, feminism and happiness with refreshing honesty and humor. She even managed to get caught up in a blogging war recently, so it’s safe to say life is never dull when Vered is in the room.

Here Vered talks men, women, life lessons and regrets

The difference between men and women is…

I don’t usually focus on the difference. Despite popular books such as “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”, I believe that we are more alike than different. The main difference in my opinion is that historically, men managed to be in charge and gain power and control over women. I’m guessing this started simply because they were physically stronger in a society that valued physical strength above anything else. But in modern society, physical strength is secondary to qualities such as talent, resourcefulness and initiative. I believe – I hope – that in a few generations, women will achieve true equality and patriarchy would end.

I am most proud of…

My children. Watching them brings me more joy, more sense of pride and accomplishment than anything I have ever achieved for myself. Nothing is as fulfilling as watching your child take her first step, say her first word, swim her first lap, write her first word.

My mother always told me…

Regardless of what you do, or what happens to you, I will always love you. Even if you mess up terribly, I will still be there for you.

My best and worst qualities are…

Best: I am a very loyal friend. I like to laugh and I don’t take myself too seriously.

Worst: I am incredibly hard on myself. I am too impatient with others.

What’s the single most important advice you would give a young girl/teen about life?

Do not try to be perfect.

What’s your idea of romance?

When I’m tired and frumpy and look my absolute worst, and he looks at me with these loving eyes and tells me how beautiful I am.

Is there anything in your life that you truly regret? What did you learn from that experience?

I regret going to law school. It’s not a huge regret, because a law degree never hurts, but if I could do it all over again, I would choose a different degree, something more creative - perhaps writing or design. The lesson: take the time to find your true passion, then follow it. Don’t try to please others. Law school was my mother’s dream for me. It wasn’t my own dream.

Do you believe that people are inherently good?

The vast majority of people are. The problem is, evil does exist, and evil people are often powerful and influential enough to cause a lot of pain and suffering.

What do you do to lift your mood when you’re down?

I force myself to count my blessings.

What are your vices?

Too much time on the Internet.

Where do you hope to be in 10 years time?

I hope to completely let go of perfectionism and to become more accepting of myself and of others.

If a genie could grant you one wish, what would it be?

Good health for my beloved ones and for myself.

If you’d like to go under the interview microscope and be a SHE-POWER Woman, email Kelly@SHE-POWER

The following is a stand-alone piece of short fiction. It is not a continuation of Clarissa and Scott’s story, which will return as soon as I work out exactly where the plot is going.

She looks good. Relaxed. Normal. I hate her.

I don’t have to look in the mirror to see I’m not looking my best. Haven’t for some time now. The weight loss has my ass flat and flabby, and my legs have taken on an unattractive cowboy quality. I never really noticed I was bow legged before. But since my thighs started to resemble other people’s calves it’s become very obvious.

And tits. I have absolutely no tits. I’m all nipples and ribs.

Leslie bends down and I lose sight of her. I remember the layout of the apartment. Imagine where she’s gone. There’s nothing there. No where to sit. What’s she doing - lying on the floor?

I scuttle to the other side of the bush, casting a quick look over my shoulder to make sure the street is still empty. Don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. I stand on tip toes, thinking I just need a better view. Nothing. I frown and expel a cold, smoky breath, which floats around in front of my face. My chest is aching. I’ve been here too long and I didn’t wear enough clothes.

I still can’t see her. It crosses my mind that I might be able to get a better view if I step in and get closer to the light in front of her apartment. No, too risky. I don’t want her to see me. She’d be upset. Would never understand.

I know what some people would think if they saw me here. But they’re wrong. It’s not like I’m some kind of freak or anything. I just feel better if I see her. We used to spend every day together, so that’s not so strange, is it? Wanting us to spend some time together?

I hear the slam of the front security door and the click clack of heels on the steps. I sink back into the bush. Then I see the red coat. The trench I bought her on our last anniversary. Shit, where’s she going? I look up at the window but the lounge room light is still on. Confused, I watch as she rounds the path and slows at the front gate.

I drop to the ground. My knee crashes down onto the sharp jut of a rock, and though the pain is searing and shooting up my thigh, I bite my lip to stop from crying out. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Leslie stops, looks around. can she sense me? I want to stand up, wave my arms. Show myself. If she’d just give me a chance to talk to her, I know we could sort things out. But then she’s gone. Her heels a steady march on the pavement, her coat a beacon in the night.

I groan and stand, my hand involuntarily reaching to rub my throbbing knee. The rock has torn through my trousers and a sticky trail of blood is sliding down my knee. Dammit, these are my new hipsters and one of the only pair of pants that fit me. I want to go home, have a shower, but as I stare after Leslie’s fading figure, I know I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I don’t know where she is.

I hobble to the road, every move of my leg pure agony. Leslie is almost at King Street now. I’m going to have to pick up some pace if I want to keep her in sight. I lock my jaw and start a slow jog to catch up with her. I only make a few metres before the pain slows me down and I change to an awkward shuffle.

Where could she be going? It’s a Tuesday night. She has work tomorrow. She turns the corner and I force myself into a short burst of a run to make up ground. The patheticness of the situation impinges upon my sleep deprived brain. A voice in my head says, “Melanie, go home”, but the anxiety in my gut is stronger and I rationalize that my dump of a share house can be reached by walking down King Street. It’s not like I’m stalking her or anything. I have to go home.

On King Street the harsh glare of the lights, the cars, the neon, rips into my eyes. I almost collide with a guy who’s trying to light a cigarette. He swings his arms away trying not to burn me, his long dreadlocks flapping around his head. I pop up my hood and drop my face to the ground. I can’t afford for anyone to recognise me.

I shadow Leslie for three blocks. We are moving out of the popular cafe strip now and my curiosity is piqued. There’s nothing up here but boutiques, that Japanese restaurant and the Marlborough Hotel. Leslie hates the Marlborough and Japanese food. My pain in my knee has changed to a dull spreading throb. I feel like my leg is swelling up, making room for more pain to punish me. I look around and see a woman staring at me, her eyes taking in the ripped trousers, something changing in her eyes. She moves closer to the kerb and I feel like a leper who’s escaped from the colony.

I look away and am so busy trying not to be seen that I almost catch up with Leslie. She has stopped on the other side of the street. I falter, not sure what to do, then busy myself looking in the shop window next to me. I see it’s a butcher and feel hope no one gets close enough to notice.

Leslie is standing on the sidewalk, digging around in her handbag. She removes a compact and angling it up to the light, checks her face. Satisfied, she closes it and drops it back inside. Now she straightens her coat and with one final fluff of her black curls she’s on the move again. I am considering how much of a lead to give her when she stops and disappears into a doorway.

Running across the road, I slink closer to where she disappeared, trying to think of what’s open here at this time of night. But then I see the sign and hear the music. Casa de Granada Tapas Bar. Just opened according to the chalk board propped out front. I can already see the restaurant is open to the street with bench seats dim, romantic lighting. My heart twists and pounds in my chest. She’s meeting someone.

I look up and down the street, trying to decide what to do. It’s not like I can go in. Hell, even walking past might be too risky. But I have to see who she’s with. My mind returns to the comforting image I saw from the night before. The same image I have seen most nights for the past two months. Ever since she kicked me out. Leslie on her Simpsons beanbag staring blankly at the wall where I know the television is.

Every night I sit outside and imagine we are in there together, cosied up watching CSI or maybe Desperate Housewives, her slippered feet lying on my outstretched legs. I try to forget that she hates me. That it’s all my fault. I imagine her forgiving me, pulling me into her arms, telling me that she sees me not for who I am, but for who I could be. For who I want to be when I am with her.

I make a snap decision, knowing I have no choice in the matter. I move closer and taking a deep breath, cross myself before I dart past the constantine doors, sweeping my eyes through the small crowd on the way. Leslie is seated near the front of the restaurant, but she doesn’t see me. I collapse against the window of the laundromat next door, the hammering in my heart reaching up to grab my throat and deafen my ears with silent screams.

Leslie. My Leslie. On a date. Her eyes locked on another. Her hands entwined. I am dying inside and it’s too much. I lean on the window, feel myself sliding down the icy glass, the image burning my retinas, assaulting my mind. My Leslie betraying me. Betraying us. My Leslie with a man.

Photo by AndyRamdin | Ducked.nl

Though they ARE polite and friendly.

These are the findings of two recent studies. First, Melbourne’s Baker IDI Heart and Diabetes Institute released its shocking news that Australia has now surpassed the USA as the world’s fattest people with 26% of adult Australians now obese.

The second study came courtesy of Expedia’s Best Tourist Survey, which polled more than 4000 hoteliers and found that Australians are the 6th Best Tourists (the Japanese were number 1), with our strengths being we are “generous and polite”, while our weaknesses are that we are badly dressed and reluctant to eat local cuisine.

After a month travelling in Europe it kills me to say I have to agree with both of these. In fact, I journaled about the exact same thing in Paris.

We Aussies have a lot going for us, but thinness and great fashion sense are not two of them

It’s not that we’re unattractive people exactly because Australian men, in particular, stack up pretty well against their European counterparts. While beauty is a matter of opinion, Aussie men in my age group do tend to be tall and well built, and have an appealing casual masculinity about them.

It’s a different story when it comes to clothes, though. It is a rare sight to see a straight Aussie male with a strong sense of fashion and any distinctive flair. In fact, it’s probably considered pansy to be really well dressed in most of the country. The metrosexual fad did take off a bit in Sydney and Melbourne, but most Australian men would never admit to using moisturizer or colouring their hair or struggling with what to wear on a night out.

Unfortunately, I cannot say Australian women compare as well in the beauty stakes. Our dainty European sisters are much more likely to be stylishly attired, enviably slender, carefully made up, and in Spain, tottering around on beautiful heels. It was enough to have me examining my wardrobe with new eyes and feeling like I needed to give up food and get my ass to the beauty salon quick smart. I’ve only been to a beauty salon 3-4 times in my life and what self respecting French woman can say that?

Feeling Ugly in Europe

The disappointing thing was this time I swore it would be different. Ten years ago I came to Europe as a backpacker and I have never felt so ugly in my life. The French and the Italians, in particular, made me feel like the worst dressed heifer around. Even my sister, who’s quite beautiful, felt over sized and self conscious. Khakis and t-shirts are no match for French chic and high heels.

This trip, however, I thought I’d be prepared. I certainly packed enough clothes! But in Spain I found myself marveling at how the women could eat chocolate croissants for breakfast and eat so much fattening tapas while staying so slim and shapely. And except in Sevilla, I never saw them exercising either. It was infuriating.

And don’t talk to me about Paris. I actually put a bit of care into what I was going to wear my two whole days there and when I left the hotel I thought I had done well. Nicely dressed (see the last picture of me at the Arc de Triomphe), but still comfortable and able to run after a four year old intent on terrorizing pigeons.

It didn’t work. As soon as I got onto the metro and looked around at the other women I felt terrible. Too tall. Too fat. Too casual. Too cumbersome. Too blah. The Parisians are unbelievably thin and oh so elegant. They can make a white blouse and jeans look amazing. In the same outfit I’d just look boring. A large part of their style I think comes from the fact that they are so thin. Their faces, necks and bodies have these angular lines which manage to not look emaciated and make them the perfect clothes hanger.

Don’t Underestimate the Importance of Body Confidence

Confidence and posture also plays a large part in the allure of a Parisian woman. They walk like they’re floating on a pink, puffy cloud. Like they are a Queen and everybody should just bow down and worship at their designer heeled feet. It’s a lesson us Aussies could learn from the French. Think you’re gorgeous and you are.

We could also learn a thing or two about portion control. The Spanish and the French may eat food which is rich and high in calories, but their meal sizes are much smaller. Food is savoured and nibbled on. Drinks last for ages. Conversation and company is just as important as the meal itself.

Australians eat too much, too quickly. We too often gobble our food without tasting it. There is less appreciation for fine ingredients and the art of cooking. We agonize over calories, but manage to get fatter as a population with every passing year. Something has to change, but that’s a whole other subject…

There is an Upside

It’s not all bad news, though. As I said, Australians are known for being very polite, friendly and generous people. We’re also very casual, fun and straight forward. What you see is what you get. Aussie men and women may be less stylish, but I’m thinking that means we’re more real. We have substance.

And if you want a guy/girl with a natural look, who’s more interested in having a good time than peering at themselves in the mirror or worrying about their hair, then come Down Under. There’s lots of babes for you to choose from. Just look at me!

The first terrible photo of me was taken by Musicman in Granada - someone give that girl a hairbrush!
Photo2 by ri.co

I really don’t feel like myself since I got home. At first I thought it was jet lag because I couldn’t sleep and had an attention span that could be counted in seconds, rather than minutes or hours.

Then the days moved on and now I’ve been home over a week, but still I lie awake at night with my mind racing and my legs twitching from nervous energy and it seems obvious that there might be a bit more to it.

Is it just post holiday blues or something more?

I don’t feel depressed and I was actually glad to come home. Routine is a vital part of life with young children and it was definitely tiring having to entertain Bunny all day every day. In Europe he had no pre-school, no mates, hardly any toys and little predictability. Usually Bunny is a child who thrives on predictability (so unlike me), but overseas he coped amazingly well and adapted to everything we threw at him. Even so, it’s nice to be home where there’s more support and a bedroom I can send him to when he’s throwing a wobbly.

But back to me - it’s ALL ABOUT ME, people!

If it was a welcome comfort to get home, why do I feel so disinterested in doing anything?

I started back up on my novel overseas, but am now dragging my feet. I have a few draft posts written that I can’t seem to finish. A client who wants me to start on a project, but I’m avoiding him. And I find myself mentally blank for long periods of the day with a physical restlessness which is keeping me up ’till all hours.

People are supposed to come home from holidays recharged, not drained!

I have to admit, this has happened before. Last year when I returned from Thailand, I wrote about my intuition that change was in the air. It made a lot of sense then because I’d been feeling very burned out before I went away, and when I came home I re-prioritized my life to stop copy writing for a few months and concentrate on my family.

This time the problem isn’t burn out, and maybe it’s not post holiday blues either. Maybe those over-active instincts of mine sense new challenges on the horizon for me and my poor little brain (it’s not what it once was - thanks Bunny) is struggling to keep up.

I did start to jot down some notes for a new creative project while I was away, the novel has spluttered back to life, and I’ve been mulling over some minor changes I want to make here at SHE-POWER. So, maybe I’m being too hard on myself.

Maybe just getting on with everyday life for a week or two is just what I need. Time for my ideas to germinate and bloom into something beautiful. Maybe it’s that old dilemma again about it being okay to do nothing. Sit, wait and create.

What do you think?