I really don’t feel like myself since I got home. At first I thought it was jet lag because I couldn’t sleep and had an attention span that could be counted in seconds, rather than minutes or hours.
Then the days moved on and now I’ve been home over a week, but still I lie awake at night with my mind racing and my legs twitching from nervous energy and it seems obvious that there might be a bit more to it.
Is it just post holiday blues or something more?
I don’t feel depressed and I was actually glad to come home. Routine is a vital part of life with young children and it was definitely tiring having to entertain Bunny all day every day. In Europe he had no pre-school, no mates, hardly any toys and little predictability. Usually Bunny is a child who thrives on predictability (so unlike me), but overseas he coped amazingly well and adapted to everything we threw at him. Even so, it’s nice to be home where there’s more support and a bedroom I can send him to when he’s throwing a wobbly.
But back to me – it’s ALL ABOUT ME, people!
If it was a welcome comfort to get home, why do I feel so disinterested in doing anything?
I started back up on my novel overseas, but am now dragging my feet. I have a few draft posts written that I can’t seem to finish. A client who wants me to start on a project, but I’m avoiding him. And I find myself mentally blank for long periods of the day with a physical restlessness which is keeping me up ’till all hours.
People are supposed to come home from holidays recharged, not drained!
I have to admit, this has happened before. Last year when I returned from Thailand, I wrote about my intuition that change was in the air. It made a lot of sense then because I’d been feeling very burned out before I went away, and when I came home I re-prioritized my life to stop copy writing for a few months and concentrate on my family.
This time the problem isn’t burn out, and maybe it’s not post holiday blues either. Maybe those over-active instincts of mine sense new challenges on the horizon for me and my poor little brain (it’s not what it once was – thanks Bunny) is struggling to keep up.
I did start to jot down some notes for a new creative project while I was away, the novel has spluttered back to life, and I’ve been mulling over some minor changes I want to make here at SHE-POWER. So, maybe I’m being too hard on myself.
Maybe just getting on with everyday life for a week or two is just what I need. Time for my ideas to germinate and bloom into something beautiful. Maybe it’s that old dilemma again about it being okay to do nothing. Sit, wait and create.
What do you think?