“So how long are you staying?” Claire asked her sister, the moment they were alone.
“That’s an interesting way to make me feel welcome.” Simone dropped her suitcase on the floor and turned, her eyes sparkling cheekily. “Come on, aren’t you even the teeniest bit glad to see me?”
Claire’s ignored the question. “Do you need money?”
“I’d forgotten you always assume the worst.” Simone fell down onto the perfectly made bed, stretched herself out like a cat, a satisfied smile upon her face. “You really need to relax, Claire. Stress creates wrinkles you know.”
She reached her arms out and fingered the colourful woven blanket on the bed. “Nice. Is this one of the Morelia family’s many contributions to the little people of Mexico?”
Claire bristled. “You can talk. What have you ever done for charity, or for anyone for that matter?”
“I am a charity case,” Simone yawned, sitting up on the bed and looking around the room. Standing, she walked over to the terrace doors and opened them to step outside. She leaned forward on the railing and breathed in deeply.
“Wow, you’d almost never guess you were in Mexico City from this air. Not like the smog that everyone else is breathing.“ She spoke almost to herself. “How is that possible? The things money can bring, huh.“
“You’ve only just got here,” Claire said scornfully. “I really don’t think the air’s that bad.“
“No, you wouldn’t if this is what you’re breathing,“ Simone looked out over the walls to the distant towers of the city beyond. “What suburb is this? San Angel? Coyoacan?“
Claire realised she had no idea. She was escorted everywhere with a driver or Alejandro. She had never even walked down the street alone in Mexico City.
Simone seemed caught in a distant memory. “I think it is. Frida Kahlo’s Blue House is just over there.“ She turned and smiled at Claire. “Have you been yet?“
Claire shrugged. “Should I have?”
“You’re living in Mexico City and you don’t even know who Frida Kahlo is. Jesus, did you even buy a guidebook before coming here?”
“Why would I? I live here. I’m not a tourist.” Claire’s tone was cold, but inside she felt gauche, unworldly.
“Exactly.”
A long silence dragged as Simone turned to stare back out the window. Finally she said, “Alejandro is very handsome. Rich too. Quite the catch.“
Claire’s stomach took a sudden dive. “Keep your hands off.“
“What?“ Simone shook her head. “You’re crazy. He’s your fiance.”
“It didn’t stop you before,“ Claire muttered.
Simone groaned. “Are you still hung up about that. I said I was sorry.“
“Sorry?“ Claire’s voice rose. “You think an apology covers what you did?“
“What did I do really - helped you see what a loser he was? Made you realize you were in way too deep with some guy who wasn’t worth your time.”
“He was my boyfriend, not just some guy,“ Claire hissed.
“Whatever.“ Simone stopped for a moment. “I can’t even remember his name now.“
“Daniel”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. Daniel.“ Simone’s eyes glazed over. “He had a really big …“
“Stop it,“ Claire snapped, putting her hand up. “Just stop. I don‘t want to talk about it. But if you think you can betray me …“
“Oh lighten up Claire,” Simone sighed. “Anyone can see Alejandro loves and adores you. He hasn’t noticed me.” She paused, and for a second Claire almost thought she looked hurt. “I don’t know why you’re making this visit out to be something sinister. I’m here for your wedding, that’s it. Truly.”
“Right.”
“Besides, he’s not even my type.“ Simone’s eye was caught by the young Mexican raking the pool. “Now him, that’s another story.“
Claire flushed. “Just behave yourself while you’re here. Dinner’s at nine but drinks are in the parlour at 8.15pm. Don’t be late.“
“I’d never think of being late for drinks in the parlour,” Simone said with mock seriousness.
“And wear something suitable,“ Claire frowned, taking in Simone’s mini skirt and tank top. “We don’t want to look at your knickers throughout dinner.“
Photo by mnd.ctrl
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LOVE it Kelly! More more more! It has your humor and makes me want to read the whole book! Do you read Marianne Keyes? If you haven’t read her yet think you’d really enjoy her! Watermelon was my favorite of hers! How does one get your book? Is it done and available? Wonderful job Kelly — stumbled and can’t wait to read more! Love, Jenny
Jenny Mannion’s last blog post..Living the Law of Attraction — Real Stories of Manifestations and Healing
I love it, Kelly.
You managed to pull me into the story. I am suspicious of Simone and rooting for Claire.
How much have you written so far? How do you do it? Will you write a post that tells us about the creative process, i.e. how many pages do you write per day, do you wait for the muse to strike or do you just make yourself write every day etc. I’d love to know.
I am totally buying this book!
Vered’s last blog post..Obsessed With SEO?
Kelly - this was a very engaging excerpt. I really like how you crafted the dialog. More, please!
Al at 7P’s last blog post..Why Should I Help You?
@Jenny
I also love Marian Keyes. Watermelon is great and probably my second favourite behind Rachel’s Holiday. This extract was from the second draft of RUNNING WITH THE DEAD and I’m unsure yet whether it will make it into the final draft. I’m in the middle of making some plot changes now before I start work on the final draft this week. When it’s finished, I’ll try to get it published via traditional channels. If no luck, I’ll self publish. Will keep everyone informed.
@Vered
You should see how much I’ve written! Two drafts of 280 pages plus I’ve re-written the first third another two times. It’s been fun, though I’ve needed the break from it the past few months. I started thinking it was time to get in and finish it off so I posted this to try and motivate myself. I will write a post about my creative writing process in the next couple of weeks.
@Al
Thank you.
Kelly
Kelly - This is excellent. You are a prolific writer. I agree with Vered that it is so interesting that if you share how you write with some tips, it can help all of your readers. I will definitely buy it as I can tell that it will be an interesting read.
Shilpan | successsoul.com’s last blog post..An Interview with Tim Brownson
The plot sounds sinister alright…LOL!! Good luck with your upcoming book!
Hi Kelly - That picture really freaked me out. And the title is excellent. Did you come up with it before you started writing, or after?
I love the conflict you’ve brought into this piece - I could really feel the tension and it gives the impression that something bad is going to happen quite soon.
Two drafts of 280 pages is absolutely fantastic. You didn’t let on that you’d written that much. It’s brilliant. How long has it taken you so far? Will you look for an agent or publisher after the first draft?
Is this a different book to the pieces you have showcased on here before, or is it just a different part of it? Sorry for all the questions but I just think it’s brilliant that you’ve written so much. I’ve heard so many novelists say that the main key to getting a book published is to finish writing it and you’re nearly there.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..What Sort Of Freelance Writer Are You?
Hi Kelly - I really like the way you are descriptive in a natural way, so that it doesn’t feel overdone. We see the picture without realising we have just read it, because we are just interested in seeing what they say. It’s great! (does she show her undies during dinner?)
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@Shilpan
Thanks for coming around to give me some encouragement and support; I really appreciate it. I will start thinking about some posts about writing and my creative process. So keep an eye out.
@Evelyn
Thank you. Things definitely get sinister ahead…
@Cath
I came up with the title near the end of the Second Draft. I brainstormed a few, but that one felt right straight away. When you find out more about the novel you’ll understand why. I’m glad you liked it. It’s taken 2 years of writing so far to get the two drafts done and it’s been a much more drawn out exercise than I expected. My plot has changed so many times, but I’ve stuck with it and that’s while raising a young child, freelancing and changing towns, so I’m pretty proud of myself. Hopefully this draft will be it, but you never know. When I am sure my plot is finalised, I’ll edit and hone the first few chapters then send it off with a synopsis to agents and publishers. Have also considered getting a manuscript assessment, but I’ll work it out when I get there. One step at a time.
@Robin
Thank you, I’m glad you liked it. As for Simone and her knickers, that is one woman who is capable of anything so you can bet flashing is the least of her crimes.
Kelly
Excellently crafted dialogue! You bring us in and keep us going, wanting more. Nice job of “show, don’t tell,” too. I already feel I know more about these two than some acquaintances of mine! Great title, too.
You write, “When it’s finished, I’ll try to get it published via traditional channels.” Email me if you want to know one writer’s “non-traditional channel.”
SpaceAgeSage’s last blog post..Is ingratitude like anti-matter?
I was jsut talking to student how you can tell a lot about a character in the story by the way they interact with other characters and viola, I opened your blog and read this. I’m interested to know more about the underlying conflict between Simone and Claire.
I do like the fact that Claire has never been to Frida Khalo’s house. I kinda like that. There are a lot of great things to see in Chicago that I haven’t seen because I live here and I feel that I will always have all the time in the world to see them.
So when is the novel comming out? Make sure my company is signed, ok?
chris’s last blog post..5 Movies That Make Me Cry
This is excellent Kelly! I could practically see the Mexican hacienda and the two sisters snipping at each other. You should definitely finish this. It reminds me that I haven’t read a novel in the longest time. I’m very impressed.
Marelisa’s last blog post..Stress Management: 25 Ways to Relieve Stress
I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing it with us.
This is going to be a great success. I can tell
@SpaceAgeSage
“I already feel I know more about these two than some acquaintances of mine!” - Great line. You make me laugh…
Thanks for the feedback and I will email you.
@Chris
I haven’t climbed the harbour bridge yet - the big tourist must-do in Sydney so I know what you mean. Stay tuned for when this is coming out. i have to finish it yet!
@Marelisa
I’m on a roll now. Thanks for the encouragement
@Shamelle
I’m very happy to see you here. Thanks for the feedback as it’s nice to know I’m not just writing for myself. I hope it is a success, and just the start of a long career as a novelist. It’s the only career dream I’ve ever had. Well, that and a travel writer.
Kelly
if this is a sample of the rest of the book, it seems like it’s going to be very exciting. There’s a real undercurrent there that totally gets me in. I’d buy it!
Will we get another extract soon?
Rachel
Kelly, you have a real knack for writing! What a great opening dialog. I’m curious between what I’ve read and what the title is, as to where this is going. You’ve captivated me - what’s next???
Lance’s last blog post..What Are We Missing?
Kelly,
No! No! No! We need more! Now! When is it coming? Have you written the next part yet? How long into the book is this scene? Please, more information! More story!
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..Love Letters…
Kelly,
That really brings out the predicament Claire is in with a minimum of words. She is sheltered under her fiance and a huge contrast to Simone.
In a very short time you get to know Simone and how she is going to be a pivotal part of Claire’s future somehow.
Great writing!
@Rachel
Not sure about another extract. leave it with me. I’m glad you liked it.
@Lance
I’ll do some posts about writing next, but as for the novel I just need to buckle down now and get more done of the 3rd draft
@Rita
This is from the first third of the book. Stay tuned for more. It makes me excited to get stuck into the third draft that all you guys are so excited. Thank you
@MusicMan
Thanks for your feedback, baby. x
Kelly
Kelly,
Just checking to see what’s happening on your blog, and was captivated by the snippet of your novel. Interesting indeed!
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