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This week I’m 37 years old and while I’m not doing cartwheels about it, I wouldn’t say I’m exactly depressed either. I’m still relatively young, I’m healthy, have a wonderful family and generally a lot to be grateful for.

If I sound like I’m giving myself a pep talk, well maybe I am, but there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m trying to see an upside to quieten the parts of me that are feeling just the teeniest bit crappy.

The problem is this year has disappeared in a big blur and my personal goals have been pushed aside by larger family concerns. On one hand, I tell myself it’s only a year, but the problem is this has become trend, and I can’t help wondering where my thirties have gone.

The short answer of course is motherhood. My thirties have been swallowed up by motherhood.

The past five years have seen a massive change in the amount of time and energy I can devote to myself and my goals. I find this very frustrating and it’s still something I am learning to deal with. I realise this problem is pretty universal for moms, but that doesn’t make it any easier to adapt to.

My Higher Self Takes On The Ego Driven Bitch

I’ve recently come to see I’m not good at valuing myself and my goals in the face of family commitments. I tend to put my needs on the back-burner, get worn down with my other responsibilities and fall into the easy pattern of just not pushing any further.

After awhile I lose sight of what my goals are. I start to question myself and then the voices in my head move into battle with me acting the tongue tied bystander. Actually, they’re less voices, and more wholly formed personalities with physical characteristics I can clearly visualize.

Higher, Zen Self (HZS)

She’s the thin, smiling one with perky breasts, clear skin, shiny hair and perfect eyebrows. She’s optimistic, emotionally supportive, drinks green tea and actually enjoys alfalfa sprouts.

Ego Driven Bitch (EDB)

She’s the critical one with the big ass, freckles and that ugly frown line between her un-groomed eyebrows. She drinks too much, eats ridiculous amounts of chocolate biscuits and swears like a sailor (apologies to anyone in the Navy).

What HZS and EDB have in common is they are both strong personalities who refuse to give up. They hover around as I go about my week waiting for me to feel tired or under appreciated or vulnerable. It’s usually Ego Driven Bitch who pounces first.

EDB: “Kelly,what is happening with this novel, your career, your life? You’re going nowhere, sweetheart.”

HZS: “Don’t listen to her. I know you’re frustrated and unsure where to go with your writing, but this is a natural cycle of life. Bunny isn’t even five yet. Your time will come again.”

EDB: “Bullshit, do you want to write fucking advertising copy forever? You’ve got to get your shit together!”

HZS: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve written two drafts of your novel. You’ve started your blog and kept it up. That’s something. That’s more than something.”

EDB: “Yeah, but you’re blog isn’t going to pay the bills, is it? And you’re floundering with the third draft, aren’t you. You’re never going to get anywhere at this rate. Loser!”

They can go and on like this for hours. It’s exhausting!

Taking Stock of My 30’s Achievements

Because I’m trying to side with my Higher Zen Self – let’s face it, she’s prettier and much nicer – I’ve decided to try and get some perspective by taking stock of exactly what I have achieved and changed since I turned 30. Here it is:

I traveled overseas solo for the first time.

I studied Spanish and actually got to an upper intermediate level. (its fallen back since, but with some effort and real Spanish speaking face time, I’ll be rolling my R’s again in no time)

I climbed a volcano to the top and above the clouds, even though I’m afraid of heights.

I’ve weathered major marital storms, like financial ruin, career and lifestyle changes, and estrangement to celebrate a 10th wedding anniversary next month.

I gave birth to my 4kg son without drugs. I’m not saying this should be important to every mother, just that it was to me.

I honored my values and stayed home to raise my son, which has been one of the most emotionally challenging roles I’ve ever taken on. I’ve had to change and grow so much and it hasn’t been easy, but Bunny is most definitely worth it.

We bought our first home.

I moved locations to give Bunny the home, security and family life he deserves, even though I miss my old life in the inner city and I now live nowhere near my friends.

I persevered with almost a year of intensive therapy and healing, going to very uncomfortable places to try and release my past and allow me to be a better mother, wife and human being.

I finished the first draft of my novel, Running With The Dead. The only person in my novel mentoring group to do so by the end of the course.

I finished the second draft of the novel, and I’ve since written some more short fiction.

I’ve taken my son overseas for the first time, sharing my love of travel with him.

I’ve managed to earn a part time income (my choice) with copy writing from the comfort of my own home, without having to actually hunt for clients.

I can see what is holding me back in life, but I just don’t have the solutions as to how to deal with some of these things yet.

And lastly, I started this blog and have maintained it for over a year now. I’ve also done all the design myself, which, while not impressive, is an achievement because when I started I had ZERO knowledge of what a blog was, let alone HTML and CSS.

I am sure there is more, but I’ve bored you to death enough, I’m sure.

Do you tend to reflect on your life and your accomplishments on birthdays?

And am I the only one with voices arguing in their head? Please say “No.”

Photo by SeraphimC

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{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Robin 10.15.08 at 12:36 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Kelly!

I really enjoyed reading your list of achievements – I make similar kinds of lists from time to time – not necessarily on my birthday. I don’t I have the voices arguing thing as much as I used to – I’ve got more used to myself, maybe.

Have a good celebration!

Robin’s last blog post..Why We Want To Live

2 Marelisa 10.15.08 at 12:49 am

Hi Kelly: First of all, happy birthday! And I also reflect on my life on my birthday, which is in May. I turned 37 this year too. I used to be wildly competitive, and at 32 I was in charge of the Labor Relations Division of the Panama Canal Authority (there are over 8,000 unionized workers at the Panama Canal). Now I tend to measure my success more in terms of how I feel each day and not so much in terms of what I achieve, although I have tons of goals I’m working toward. I guess I just have a longer vision of life now, and I no longer believe that everything has to be done by tomorrow. Also, we all have voices arguing in our head. I once read a quote that went something like the following: “We’re all divided souls; schizophrenia is measured not by how many voices there are in your head, but by how well those voices communicate with each other.” :-) Buy yourself something nice for your birthday. Marelisa

Marelisa’s last blog post..14 Tips to Stay Young

3 Dot 10.15.08 at 1:12 am

Happy Birthday, Kelly! I happen to love the way EDB looks, by the way. And congratulations, that’s quite a list of accomplishments! I think it’s natural to take time out to reassess one’s life, at least every decade. As for voices, I have a judgmental voice in my head that echoes the judgmental things that were said to me when I was growing up. I have overcome it in some areas of my life, while in others it seems to have the upper hand. It’s all a process, though. Be good to yourself.

Dot’s last blog post..Weeping Willow

4 Urban Panther 10.15.08 at 1:18 am

Happy Birthday and HOLY CRAP GIRL, you’ve done all that AND raised a child???? You need to tell EDB to piss right off! Or as the Urbane Lion would say “Fuck away!”

Seriously, if you have done all that in your 30s, imagine what you can accomplish in your 40s! I say keep on truckin’, chickie, you are doing a fine job.

Urban Panther’s last blog post..Through someone else’s eyes

5 Stacey / Create a Balance 10.15.08 at 1:28 am

Happy Birthday. Did you know we are now both in the same “37 year old mom’s club”? And my boys were each 4.4K+. I think feeling a little bit crappy comes with motherhood in our 30’s. I feel crappy a lot and find ways to 1) be still in the crap and 2) be aware of my fortunate circumstances and plow past the crappy feelings. I find my 30’s have been a blur b/c I lost my memory during my two pregnancies (I think I’m feeling my own post shining through here). The good news is that it allows me to be IN THE PRESENT more often.

I think you thirties have gone where they needed to go. They have allowed you to reach this moment! Now is the time to devote more time and energy to your sense of self and your personal goals. Sounds like you are already doing this! Remember to celebrate all of your baby steps!!! Create more baby steps and celebrate more often!

Last week I created a sculpture of my authentic self (my higher, zen self). It was so liberating. Soon I’m going to write a post encouraging everyone to create their authentic self sculptures (w/ just using household materials). She (my sculpture) is a tangible reminder of my strength).

Hmmmm…..HZS and EDB…sounds like a need for balance. Can you write a list of things you LIKE about EDB? What benefits does she provide to you? If she exists, she exists for a reason. If you can ignore her tone and rude comments, it sounds as if EDB is actually encouraging you to take action today. And HZS is celebrating all of your baby steps!

Looks like you are celebrating your baby steps (and large steps) too. Your list is something to be proud of here! Also, I was not bored from your celebration list! I loved it! (I hope this long comment doesn’t bore you). You have a way of inspiring me to think!

And yes, I have voices with conflicting ideas in my head too!

Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..My First Blogosphere Interview

6 Evelyn Lim 10.15.08 at 2:39 am

First of all, Happy Birthday!!

Secondly, don’t be so hard on yourself! That is quite a lot you’ve accomplished. I’m wondering if I’ve accomplished half as much. Okay…I’m not going to think about it. I don’t find it necessary to compare. Let’s get back to you.

It’s hard for any career to move, with a young baby. I know. I’ve got two. You are not alone in how you are feeling. But let’s put it this way…I’m sure that you wouldn’t want it any other way. You’ve bonded well with your son. If you have had an all successful career, it may have taken your time away from him during those crucial years. Give yourself a pat for every step that you’ve taken in trying to accomplish your goals! You’d get there someday!

Love and light,
Evelyn

Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Can The Artist See The Big Picture?

7 Mike Goad 10.15.08 at 2:50 am

Happy birthday!

You’re so young. I was your age in 1989 and that was so long ago.

Thank you for the apology to sailors. I do get tired of that curse like a sailor thing. I was a sailor and didn’t — curse like a so-called sailor, that is.

No, I don’t reflect on the past and my accomplishments on my birthday. Too much left to do. I look forward to what’s coming.

And, no, I don’t have arguing voices.

Mike Goad’s last blog post..“I’m not _______, but…”

8 Chris Edgar 10.15.08 at 3:38 am

Thanks for this post. I’ve recently taken a new view on the “voices in my head” that I’d like to share. The most important thing about my new perspective is that the “voices” aren’t actually voices — they’re sensations I feel in my body when I have certain thoughts or certain events happen in the world. I’ve labeled some of these sensations as “bad,” as things I shouldn’t be experiencing — such as a tightening that happens in my solar plexus when I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough. But when I take the label off that experience and see it as nothing more than energy moving through my body, I feel much more peaceful. Spiritual growth now occurs to me as a process of becoming able to be with more and more sensations we’ve rejected in the past.

9 Lance 10.15.08 at 5:23 am

Add one more to the 37 year old Mom’s Club (not me – my wife – I’m “slightly” older)!

I think we tend to reflect the older we get. The 30’s have been a blur for me (they will soon be gone…). And it makes me question – am I doing all that I want to do? And it comes down to priorities. And right now, my family is a major priority. Your son is only this age once – continue to enjoy the “moments”. And look at all you have done – that’s a lot of major accomplishments! A list I would be proud if I could call it my own! Have you done everything you’ve wanted to? No. That’s ok. None of us have done “everything” we wanted to do. So…let the voices banter back and forth…and listen to the direction they give you…

Happy Birthday, young one!

I like the new picture (and the hat)!

Lance’s last blog post..Life’s A Balancing Act

10 Vered - MomGrind 10.15.08 at 5:59 am

OK, first, the most important thing”

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Kelly
Happy birthday to you

:-)

Now for the serious part. Yes, I have inner voices too. And yes, one of them is harsh and critical while the other is loving and supportive. one of my main goals is to learn to silence the harsh voice and to always listen to the kind one.

Now do as Marelisa said and do something FUN for your birthday. :)

Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Women Who Say No To Photoshopping

11 Vered - MomGrind 10.15.08 at 6:05 am

Came back to say: only when my youngest turned 6 (and my oldest 8), I started nurturing myself more. Up until then, it was all about being a mom. So I think that you are very close… a few more months, maybe a year, and he’ll start gradually moving away from you emotionally. This is inevitable and definitely a bittersweet experience, but the upside is that you’ll be able to invest more in yourself.

Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Women Who Say No To Photoshopping

12 mark 10.15.08 at 8:23 am

Hi Kelly – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I think we all have those voices, either that or all of us who are commenting need some psychotropic drugs to bring us back to reality. :)

Seriously though, look at everything you have done in such a short time…it’s pretty amazing. So whatever your negative voice is saying it sure seems as though you have found a way to overcome it.I wish you TREMENDOUS success with everything as you begin this new year of your life. :)

mark’s last blog post..Blog Action Day 2008 – Please Help to Eradicate Poverty

13 Glee Girl 10.15.08 at 8:53 am

Wow, you’ve achieved so much with your 30s even though motherhood has taken up much of your time. You should be feeling really pleased with yourself and all you’ve achieved. Reading your list of achievements made me feel a bit glum about my own – or lack thereof! I’m 36, no partner, no kids, no house. But I am happy (which is an achievement in itself, because I wasn’t always).

And Happy birthday. Make sure you stay away from the alfalfa and have cake!

14 Tom Volkar / Delightful Work 10.15.08 at 9:00 am

I wonder who you might be comparing yourself to? Even if it’s a so-called higher version of yourself, the comparison is still a losing proposition. I’ll bet if you simply took that same very impressive list and immersed yourself in tons of gratitude you’d create a big-ass smile in no time. Really you have all the time in the world. It’s so relative to who we are. Please celebrate your Birthday and your special peculiarities. You’re really something!

Tom Volkar / Delightful Work’s last blog post..Believe It Or Not

15 Barbara Swafford 10.15.08 at 1:08 pm

Happy Birthday Kelly!

I’m happy to see you’re celebrating your accomplishments. That’s what aging is all about – living, not counting the years. Be proud of yourself, girl.

Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..NBOTW – Musings From A Father

16 Shilpan | successsoul.com 10.15.08 at 1:39 pm

Happy birthday Kelly. I hope the coming year will bring amazing success for you and your family.

Shilpan | successsoul.com’s last blog post..How to Take Control of Your Life Now

17 Roz Mitchell 10.15.08 at 1:52 pm

Kelly wow what alot of accomplishments you have managed be proud and know you are where you are meant to be at this stage in your life.
Enjoy each step each day and revel in your time with your son as he wont be this age again and you wont be 37 again so enjoy and celebrate and know that in the scheme of things you are doing an excellent job.HAPPY BIRTHDAY and celebrate where your going and where you have come from.Have a great day.

18 Davina 10.15.08 at 3:59 pm

Hi Kelly. Happy Birthday to You! You are too hard on yourself… or was it your Ego Driven Bitch writing this? You have done a helluva lot more than I have at 44 years of age. Maybe it’s time that you introduced yourself to your FZS (Future Zen Self). The person who you envision you will become in 20 years – yes, you will be 57! Give her a name and ask for direction and encouragement from her when that EDB gets out of line. You’ll leave the EDB in your tracks!

Davina’s last blog post..Blog Action: Pass The Change, Be The Change

19 J.D. Meier 10.15.08 at 4:46 pm

Happy Birthday! You know Libras are the best right?

J.D. Meier’s last blog post..How To Overcome Mistrust

20 Kelly 10.15.08 at 5:23 pm

@Robin
My mom says that one of the best things about getting older is you just don’t question and attack yourself so much. You’re more like HZS on a regular basis. I’m looking forward to that,

@Marelisa
I love that quote. My voices seem to always be competing for my head space. if I could get some more positive communication there, it would be a massive improvement. And yes, I always do give myself a present on my birthday. Everyone should, I think.

@Dot
I’m trying to be good to myself, and I know what you mean about it all being a process. It seems like once you make progress in one area another crops up for your attention.

@UP
Thank you. I did feel better after writing and reading the list, and I hope I can feel as positive and gung ho about life when I’m in my 40s as you are, UP. You’re one feisty chick!

@Stacey/Create Balance
You tapped into a really big issue for me there, Stacey. I may have written this list, but on a day to day level I don’t celebrate baby steps. I don’t look at where I’ve come, I only look at how far there is to go. This is something I need to work on. It’s only a habit and a habit can be changed – this is my new mantra! And you’re right, EDB pushes me and BELIEVES I can do more. She has faith that I can achieve my dreams, she just goes about telling me so in a less than pleasant manner!

Kelly

21 Kelly 10.15.08 at 5:34 pm

@Evelyn
I wouldn’t change putting my career on hold for Bunny. If I could travel back in time, I’d still do the same thing in this regard. Yet, this is one of the things that frustrates me and sends me on the HZS/EDB merry go round. I want to move forward but I also am not willing to sacrifice my time with my child for this to happen. I guess I’m making a choice, but I haven’t really managed to sit well with it yet.

@Mike
I admire people like you who don’t look back, but always push forward. I wish I was naturally that way. And no voices? Wow, getting older is starting to look better and better :)

@Chris
Welcome to SHE-POWER and thanks for commenting. What you said is really profound and it makes sense to me. I definitely get that tightening of the chest and that niggle in the gut when I feel anxious about where I am sitting in my world. The thing is it’s never in the present moment. If I just sat with myself more often when I get that way, I’d feel the release and the quiet of the present. I guess I’m still learning how to turn off the voices and just be. But I like what you say about accepting the sensations of the body we have rejected. It reminds me of the whole idea of our Shadow Sides and how we must accept them to accept ourselves.

@Lance
You’re probably right – none of us have done everything we have wanted to do. I forget that. And family is definitely worth making a first priority. I believe that is the way it should be if we bring children into this world. Thanks for the compliment – the photo was taken in Thailand last year. I was cave canoeing and it was a fantastic day!

Kelly

22 Kelly 10.15.08 at 6:37 pm

@Vered
Thanks for the birthday chorus. Many moms tell me it’s easier to find time and energy for yourself once the kids get older. The only problem there of course would be if I happened to have another baby…

@Mark
Thank you for making me feel like I’m not a psycho loser, for my ego soothing and for the well wishes. You’re such a gem :)

@Glee Girl
Welcome to SHE-POWER and thanks for commenting. Being happy is a huge thing and part of my battle is trying to find that peace within. So, its’ great that you’ve achieved that. And don’t worry there will be no alfalfa this week. Just lots and lots of champagne and cake!

@Tom
You have a real talent for delivering compliments and making someone feel good about themselves. I bet you’re a kick ass life coach. And I have managed to let go of a lot of that comparing myself to others. My year of therapy really did help with that. But as you say I am comparing myself to the image of myself I believe I could be if I would “just get my shit together” as EDB would say. It isn’t helpful or kind, but something I have to learn how to let go of.

Kelly

23 MusicMan 10.15.08 at 9:26 pm

Wow, That is strong self awareness. Both HZS girl and EDB girl still make for an interesting bi-polarity.
Congrats on making for an interesting 30’s. I am turning 39 and I have 1 more year to go till its over. And I have to work through that.

I am sure that you are setting yourself up for another good 10 years. Possibly better 10 years.

24 BC Doan 10.16.08 at 12:46 am

Happy Birthday, Kelly! Be gentle on yourself. You’ve gone farther than I had at this stage!

25 SpaceAgeSage -- Lori 10.16.08 at 1:36 am

Here’s a birthday toast to you and your accomplishments!

I call that Bitch Voice my Inner Critic, and yes, The Artist’s Way I’ve mentioned is helping me integrate all those voices. On my week-long media fast, I discovered and named my Inner Taskmaster and my Inner “Must Be Right” voices, too. I think the 30s are just that time to start discovering such things about ourselves. You sound like you are doing just fine — the questioning will lead you where you want to go.

Lori

SpaceAgeSage — Lori’s last blog post..Yes, I survived the week-long media fast — and learned lots!

26 Chris 10.16.08 at 4:18 am

I turned 37 last month. Your accomplishments have dwarfed mine. I still have to finish my novel and my Spanish is deteriorating by the minute. Everyday is a growing day and everyday you grow is a victory. Happy B-day buddy!

Chris’s last blog post..The Morning Ride

27 Cath Lawson 10.16.08 at 5:37 am

Hi Kelly – Happy Birthday. EDB sounds more normal. I used to get those voices but I do my best to ignore them now – especially on birthdays. I’m 40 next year and the thought fucking terrifies me to be honest.

You have achieved a lot in your 30’s though Kelly. And there’s no logical reason why you can’t finish your novel. You know it’s good – and since you’ve got this far, you can finish it.

Cath Lawson’s last blog post..YOU Have Never Been More Powerful

28 Jenny Mannion 10.16.08 at 6:37 am

Happy Birthday Kelly!!!! Wow – you’ve done a lot in your 30’s you should be SO Proud of. I turned 39 this year and spent the last 9 years being an at-home mom so know JUST how you feel with the putting your life on hold. It is worth it and it is important that you try and find some time to JUST be Kelly. Yoga dance and the occasional girls’ night out along with some walks and cross country skiing with girlfriends were my way to be “me”. Congrats on HEARING and noticing those voices in your head and the different “Kellys”. Tolle would say that is the first and most important step towards total consciousness. It is totally fine to be reflective of your last year. Just make sure you do spend more time patting yourself on the back for those things done rather than those things missed out on. You are a wonderful person and you can add enriching many people’s lives with your blog to the list. I can’t wait for your book to come out! You are a FANTASTIC writer and I know you’ll do great! Love and a big birthday hug, Jenny

Jenny Mannion’s last blog post..Blog Action Day — Take Action and Help Others Heal From Poverty

29 Kelly 10.16.08 at 7:39 am

@Barbara and Shilpan
Thank you for the well wishes. I am in celebration mode this week, no worries about that :)

@Roz
Thank you. I will try to remember that one day 37 will be young from my perspective, just like 25 is to me now so enjoying the moment with Bunny, my family and friends is definitely my goal.

@Davina
I do know I ahve done a lot with my life, but as I mentioned earlier in the comments there’s so much more I want to do and I tend to only focus on that most of the time. I like your idea of the Future Zen Self – I could always use another personality :)

@J.D
Are you a Libran too? Yes, us Librans are the best :) Quite a few of my friends are also Librans so we must like to hang out together.

@MusicMan
I’m not sure you always like living with EDB and HZS because sometimes the switch can be very fast, can’t it? But thank you baby, and I hope the next 10 years are even more enlightening, fun and fulfilling as the past. xxx

Kelly

30 Kelly 10.16.08 at 7:55 am

@B.C
Thank you. I’ll try :)

@SpaceAgeSage
Coming over now to see how the media fast went. And I really must read The Artists Way. I also believe the questioning is part of my journey – I am okay with that. It’s part of my nature anyway, and at heart I always believe tomorrow will be a better day. I really am an optimistic person. As many people here have said, the problem is I am too hard on myself.

@Chris
“Everyday is a growing day and everyday you grow is a victory.” – I love that. Yes, yes it is. On a side note, where’s my photo, man?

@Cath
I am trying to get my head and life more in line with my authentic self now so that I don’t have a freak out at 40 because I most definitely get what you mean about being fucking terrified of that aging hump. It’s silly, I know, but there. And I don’t doubt I will finish my novel. That’s not the problem. It’s on a day to day level I’m floundering for how exactly to move forward with my writing and my career. I’d like to earn more money to contribute to the family travel fund but the problem is I am sick of making money with copy writing. I really want another income avenue. And I also really want to write novels. And I do have a lot of commitments, so I get stuck as to where to put my energy. So I have a clash of time and values, and probably some limiting beliefs in there too. And because I’m me and I think too much and I’m too hard on myself I feel like I have to have this figured out right NOW.

@Jenny
Thanks so much for your supportive comment. This post really was a wake up call to EDB that I have done a lot with my past 7 years and I’m not the loser she says I am. Looking at it here I am proud and I must try to pat myself on the back more often. And you’re right girls time is very important, especially when you’re a stay at home mom. Since my move I am slowly making new friends and I am trying to be more organised to get the time with my old friends as well. Which is why my recent trip away for my best friend’s birthday was so important. It really rejuvenated my soul to be with my clan again.

Kelly

31 Chris 10.17.08 at 2:19 am

I already sent it…Please tell me you got it?

Chris’s last blog post..The Morning Ride

32 Kim Woodbridge 10.17.08 at 3:50 am

Happy Birthday Kelly,

We all doubt ourselves and think we haven’t accomplished enough. I think your Mom is right in that it does get easier as we get older and we become more accepting of ourselves.

A couple of commenters mentioned turning 40 soon and that they were terrified of it. I turned 40 in July – I was dreading it as if it were some make or break moment and then it was fine – I had a great day and after a very difficult year I’m the happiest and most productive that I’ve been in a long time. So, if that comes with being 40 then awesome – I wouldn’t go back. The only thing I really miss about being younger is the energy – it’s so hard to keep up with small children.

Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..Support Train for Humanity – Blog Action Day 08 – Poverty

33 Kelly 10.17.08 at 8:08 am

@Chris
Yes, went to other email after here and saw it was there. Ta :)

@Kim
Welcome to SHE-POWER! I have quite a few friends near 40 and over with young kids and they do say the same thng about the energy. That’s the downside to being an older mom. Thanks for commenting and the well wishes :)

Kelly

34 Harmony 10.17.08 at 6:28 pm

Kelly…Happy Birthday. Me too a few days ago!!!!!
YES. Birthday’s are holy for me. I most often never party, but I sure like to go hiking.
To listen. To be grateful. To wonder. To offer myself to LIFE afresh.

Your life sounds awesomely productive, and blessed. I hope you know that your BEST MOMENT is NOW.

BIRTHDAY HUGS!

Harmony’s last blog post..When A Good Seed Goes BAD

35 Cath Lawson 10.18.08 at 5:28 am

Hi Kelly – I can understand what you mean – but Bunny isn’t even at school yet – there’s only so much you can fit in the day. Do you desperately need the additional income? If not, what about doing things that will help promote you sell your novel. Some authors say that writing short fiction and articles does help. At least you have them to refer to in your covering letter I guess, to persuade them to look at your book. Lets face it, they must have shedloads of crap submitted so I bet they don’t take much of a look at most things they receive. Apparently, submissions for children’s wizard stories soared after Harry Potter was released, so obviously any idiot who thought they could make a fortune over night was sending stuff in. So, if you can show that you’ve already written something publishable, at least they will know you can actually write.

Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Don’t Miss Out On Your Free Ad

36 Suzie Cheel 10.18.08 at 4:02 pm

Wow, That is awesome, please dod a happy dance and raise your righthand up in the air and give yourself one loving slap on the back for so much wonderful achievements over the past 7 years- just imagine what you will do in the next 7,

it seems we all have the I am not good enough syndrome and it takes someone else to help us acknowledge our power and out strength and the inspiration we pass onto the world.

Happy Belated Birthday

be joyful and keep loving life

Suzie

Suzie Cheel’s last blog post..Help End Poverty: Take Action Today!

37 Ankesh Kothari 10.18.08 at 5:21 pm

Happy Birthday Kelly!

Reflection is good. Introspection on your birthday is actually pretty awesome. You’ll have a better year for it.

>I can see what is holding me back in life, but I
>just don’t have the solutions as to how to deal with
> some of these things yet.

My advice? Jump right in even if you don’t have the entire solution. To paraphrase E.L.Doctorow – Cruising ahead is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.

(And you can always ask others for help when you’re stuck.)

Ankesh Kothari’s last blog post..How To Eradicate Poverty (Without Doing Charity)

38 Kelly 10.19.08 at 12:18 pm

@Harmony
Happy birthday to you too! Librans rock! And I try every day to remember my best moment is now. Thanks for the hugs, sending them back :)

@Cath
Yes, I do keep putting the “get a short story published” goal out there and then forgetting about it when the chance to earn some cash comes along, or I just get too damn tired or I get obsessed with blogging. Do I NEED the money? No, in the we can survive okay manner, but yes, if I want to pay down some debts and/or travel regularly. Basically, I need to work out what my main priority is (aside from family) and commit. As you can guess I haven’t worked it out yet.

@Suzie
Thanks for the well wishes, and yes, I do see that I am one of many in the “be too hard yourself” camp. I’m off to do a happy dance next, as ordered :)

@Ankesh
Welcome to SHE-POWER. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I used the headlights idea to finish my novel’s first and second draft so it is a very useful one. As for applying it to my “issues” (starting to hate that word), I’ve never thought about its applicability here, but you might just have something there. Can I just jump in and face one fear at a time? I guess the logical answer is why not?

Kelly

39 Graham Strong 10.23.08 at 11:39 pm

Happy (belated) Birthday, Kelly!

I just turned 40 this month, but I didn’t have nearly enough time to reflect on it. Actually, I was more freaked out turning 20 than I was 40.

Curious observation — there seems to be more than one Libra in the room here. I know that Libra’s supposedly make great writers, but I wonder what the stats are on that? Are there more Libra writers than other signs?

(Not that I’m that into astrology. But it is interesting when certain patterns and personality traits emerge from the data that match the “prediction”…)

~Graham

Graham Strong’s last blog post..The Art of Perception (Part II): If You Hear Hooves…

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