“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”
- Frederick Buechner, Minister and Author
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I love this quote because it perfectly reflects how I feel about my family and friends who live far away from me. This long weekend I am away visiting my best friend, helping her celebrate her birthday. We’ve been immersing ourselves in the simple pleasures of long chats on the sofa, shopping trips and catching up all on the news. The everyday stuff we no longer get to share.
I am lucky in that my immediate family live close, but much of my extended family live inter-state. The above photo is a recent one taken of me with my cousins. We all live in different cities and can go years without seeing each other, but whenever we meet up it’s like no time has passed. There is an invisible thread that binds us, heart to heart. We have the same sense of humor, are passionate, fiery and fiercely loyal. Our bond truly does defy the miles.
Do you live near your family and friends? Do you get to share the day to day with the people you cherish most, or do you hold onto grabbed moments, long phone calls and much anticipated holiday visits to keep your relationship alive?
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this quote, too. My family live far away from me, so I see them every few years or so. We use phones to keep in touch!
That is a beautiful quote, but it doesn’t apply to my family life, sorry to say. I’m in BC while the rest of my family is in Ontario. With my mother having passed away years ago, and my father pretty much a stranger (due to life circumstances), my youngest brother and I are the only ones who stay in touch. I look forward to our chats and in fact, we are planning on chatting tonight and I’m waiting impatiently for his call right now
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Hi Kelly: I’m very close to my sister who lives within walking distance of me with her husband and two little boys. I’m also very close to my brother whom I adore. My paternal grandmother is also very special to me; she always says, out loud within everyone’s earshot, that I’m her favorite grandchild (and she has 14 grandchildren, ha, ha).
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I live far away from my family and from my closest friends. I only get to see them once a year, but when I do, it’s just the way it is for you and your cousins.
I have developed several important local friendships, but nothing can replace the closeness that I feel to friends that have stuck with me for 20 years.
Vered - MomGrind’s last blog post..Thanking My September Top Commentators
sweet! you are lucky to have such good friends, *and* family who are such good friends!
you are truly blessed.
@BC Doan
Phones and internet are great and we are definitely lucky these days with technology. It ahs made a huge difference to maintaining distance relationships, hasn’t it?
@Davina
Little brother keeping big sis waiting? Sounds like my brother. He’s always late to get togethers! Hope you had a great catch-up
@Marelisa
The favorite huh? Somehow that doesn’t surprise me - what grandmother doesn’t love a beautiful, smart and naturally charming granddaughter. You’re lucky to have such a close family. I don’t have nieces and nephews yet, but my best friends’ kids are like that to me and I wish they lived around the corner from Bunny so they could all grow up together.
@Vered
I know we’ve talked about this before and it is hard being so far from loved ones. And like you I have made some friends since moving, but they can’t replace the ladies who are like my sisters. But unlike you, I am at least in the same country as my friends and distant family so I shall feel grateful for that this weekend. I could’t be there for my best friend’s birthday if she lived overseas, so I am lucky.
@Victoria
You’re right, I am very very blessed
Kelly
It’s been a year since I have relocated to a place, far-far away from my family and friends and I am about to move even farther in the coming months. It’s hard. It’s the hardest thing I have experienced. Mainly because it is my family and friends that were my sanity keepers if anything ever went wrong, or semi-wrong. I do have a wonderful husband who acts as my personal cheerleader, but the place of the ones left far away cannot be replaced.
Avital’s last blog post..Inspiration Prompt #20 - The Canvas Of Life
Most of my family members and friends reside in Singapore; so we are fairly close to each other. However, other than my extended family, I do not get to meet my personal friends very much. I’d say that it is the online friends that I interact with more often nowadays…LOL!!
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..What Enneagram Profile Type Am I?
@Avital
I feel for you, I really do. My husband and I were talking not long ago about a possible move for work (not looking likely now) and even though I am an adventurous sort, my heart did constrict at the thought of being further away from my mom and my friends. I miss them being 2-3 hours away. More than that would be hellish. I hope everything works out well for you with the move. At least you have your hubby and your online friends
@Evelyn
I was just coming over to visit you now that I’m home! When you have a family it does get hard to catch up with friends, doesn’t it? Life gets so crazy and there’s so many people to fit into the equation with husbands and kids. But it is important to make time for our friends, I think. But I know what you mean about being more in tocuh with online friends. I am exactly the same, but at least we have each other
Kelly
I used to be very close to my cousins, but sadly we only seem to get together now for funerals. Huh. As for my immediate family, I chat with my daughters daily on MSN and my son about once per week. Not very often with my brothers and parents, but when we all get together we have a great time. This weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving) my entire family (parents, siblings, children..and associated children, boyfriends and girlfriends) will all be together for the first time in forever. I am very excited. This must be a time for putting thought to family because the Lion and I are also writing a family post this week.
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My family doesn’t share the day-to-day, but holidays are big for us. This Thanksgiving, my mom turns 80, so my siblings, many of their kids, and our Auntie M in Texas will be there. It will be time for 4-generation photos and many laughs.
Lori
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I love close to my parents and sisters but I rarely see them and they rarely see us…It’s quite strange really. Thank God that I have my own family, and we are pretty close. I wish thought that I have more bonds with my relatives…
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Hi Kelly - What a lovely pic - you all look mega happy. My closest family live near me right now and some of my friends. But my ex used to be in the forces and i found moving around quite hard. My eldest was born 3 months after I moved and I felt really lonely as I didn’t even have folk close enough to visit in hospital. Plus long distance phone calls were more expensive back then, so I felt really isolated. The second place we moved, I made some great friends and I found it really hard to say goodbye to them. I’m hopeless at keeping in touch. And I didn’t see one of my old best friends for a few years when we were both moving about. But now we’re both living back here, which has been great. She’s not too keen on the idea of me emigrating though, as she’s just had a baby.
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Hi Kelly,
I am very lucky to live very close to my family and friends. That is a blessing I don’t take for granted. We get together all the time. THere is nothing more important in my life than my family and friends that I consider family.
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirations’s last blog post..Bouncing Back
Oh yes…getting to know a whole bunch of awesome friends on the web has just enriched my life tremendously! I’m so glad to have gotten to know you, through your blog!
To a great blossoming friendship,
Evelyn
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..What Enneagram Profile Type Am I?
Hi Kelly - I must admit I felt a pang of jealousy (or something) when you talked about your cousins - i have quite a few cousins, but I have never felt close to them.
I only see old friends occasionally. or have the occasional phone call, and I see my mother almost every week. My day-to-day socialising is usually with new friends and at work (music) things.
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Hi Kelly yes I am also lucky to have my children close by (adults now) and a grandson so that is lovely when we can catch up together.
Unfortunately we moved recently and left best mates behind that was very wrenching to my heart .I miss the instantaneous drop ins and when you need to share a bottle of wine with your mate or a chat .As the time goes on and we are apart I do chat on the phone and speak by email and it is just as if I was there.
So we will remain friends and continue to help each other .They are like my family .
@UP
Your family get together is going to be great - enjoy!
@SpaceAgesage
That sounds lovely. 80 is definitely something to celebrate and generations of family is the perfect way.
@Chris
I’m the same to some extent with my siblings. I live reasonably close to the three of them, but I don’t see much of them either. It used to bother me that we weren’t a tight knit family, but having Riley made me see that I could have my own family and build the kind of close knit relationships I cherish in other parts of my life. So, you have the most important bonds under your own roof
@Cath
It was a happy occasion so yes, I love the picture too. It shows how we are with each other and I can also see the familial similarities too. It must have been very hard moving around with a hubby in the forces. I have always thoguht that kind of life would majorly suck. One of my oldest friends did it with hr first husband so it seems it’s not so good on relationships.
Kelly
@Wendi
Here here! I agree completely.
@Evelyn
We need to find a way to toast this new friendship with champagne. It’s the best way
@Robin
And that’s grea you get to spend s much time with your mom. I see mine a couple of times a week and she’s a godsend in my life.
Hanging out with musicians does sound like a hard life
@Roz
I know exactly how you feel leaving friends behind with a move. Having done the same thing, I also pine for the little, impromptu things my girlfriends and I can no longer do together, but technology helps a lot these days.
Kelly
Are posts are in sync this week. Your quote reminds me of one of my favorite books written by Richard Bach - “There’s No Such Place as Far Away”. In this book he writes “If we want to be with someone we love, aren’t we already there”. Most of my threads are scattered across the US and I cherish the time I have with them.
Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..Spa. Dinner. Drinks. Quiet.
Hi Kelly,
love the post and the family photo, you all look so happy together. Like you I have my immediate family near by and my extended family far away.
Recently we had a family event and more than the party I loved an afternoon with the female members of the family crowded in my bedroom and bathroom, talking trying on shoes and clothes and having facials.
It saddens me not to be closer to my siblings and their children, but like the quote says I carry them within me.
Technology is such a great thing though and I do rely on emails and phone calls regularly to keep in touch.
One thing I’ve learned is that it’s all the unexpected things in life that end up the most memorable.
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Most of my family lives not close to me. And this is a great quote to describe what life is like when we reconnect. We do pick up right where we left off! It’s like they’ve been with us all along. In fact, I just spoke to an old college roommate a week ago - after many years of being out of touch. And it was like we had just saw each other the day before! It was a wonderful moment of being reminded of the connections we create, and how they remain bound to us.
Kelly, enjoy the time you have with your best friend!
Lance’s last blog post..Regrets
Kelly,
I read your post with tears in my eyes (yeah, it happens to me sometimes). It is SO nice to read of somebody who is grateful for family - as my ENTIRE family consists of 4 people: my husband, my 2 children and myself. NOBODY else. Near or far, absolutely NOTHING is a replacement for family! As my older daughter embarks on her Senior Year of college, and my little one will be leaving for college, I have to give a (very rare) thanks to technology for keeping us “close.”
Thanks,
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..The Tale of the Teaching Tongues
My family lives very close to me - about a 20 minute drive. We get together for dinner at least once a week and catch up with each other. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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@Stacey
I love the writings of Richard Bach - I discovered him around the same time as Louise Hay
@Donna
Your girly facial party sounds lovely, and yes technology is a godsend for separated families.
@J.D
So true!
@Lance
You and your college mate sounds like my dad and his best mate. They only see each other every 5 years or so and still when they’re together I see two boys again. It’s a beautiful sight. And thanks, I did have a great time with my best friend, except now I’m missing her all over again .
@Rita
Both your girls growing up - I feel for you, Rita. I can’t believe that some day I’m going to have to let Bunny go and be the man he will become. I guess there’s a lot of pride mixed in there for you though. I’m sure your girls are amazing young women.
@Kailani
You’re very lucky. Regular dinners with my extended family would be lovely.
Kelly
WOW…I learned a lot about people I like here. Good idea Kelly to ask.
I have family spread out over the States and Canada, but don’t live in the same city as
any of them. I so agree with the quote that I carry the world inside…and the love I get
when I simply rehearse great moments, is the same as the love I felt in the moment.
Sometimes families even need time to be apart to learn how important love that has no conditions
really operates.
Harmony’s last blog post..FRIDAY FIASCO - MY NON-GRATITUDE LIST
I live too far away from my Mum and my brother to visit often, even further away from my widowed SIL, but both my sons live within travelling distance and one often drops on in his way home from work. I’m really enjoying that, even if he does sometimes pop in to be fed or to use the treadmill. LOL!
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fortunately i do live near most of all my friends and family. most of my friends i have had since starting school, a few i picked up along the way. it’s nice when you can get together with them and chat about old times. i have a date tomorrow and next week to do just that.
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