Slow Down. Breathe. Enjoy the Moment

by Kelly on December 15, 2008 · 26 comments

in Inspiration. Happiness. Self Improvement,Life. People. News

tranquil-water-for-post-on-slowing-down

“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.”

– William Feather, 1889-1981, Writer

Do you find yourself rushing a lot in your life? Juggling kids and domestic chores with clients and endless To-Do lists?

Working on goals, assessing your ‘performance’, judging your life against some perfect blueprint for happiness rather than actually stopping to enjoy the happiness you have?

I am guilty of all of this, despite spending much of 2008 trying to learn to live in the moment and find happiness in the little things. It has been a slow and uncomfortable process, and one which at times seemed pointless due to my eternal lack of life balance and harsh internal critic.

It took a major scare and a week of trying to outrun my fears for me to see that I have a life right here that I love and that I SAY I am grateful for, but which I am too often emotionally absent from.

A life which I am constantly trying to mould into something else, so that I feel good enough or successful enough for the disapproving perfectionist in my mind.

Well, the disapproving perfectionist went into overdrive after the break-in, and finally I got to see her for what she really is.

Critical. Neurotic. Lost. Insecure. Someone I don’t want to be.

I had a lot of trouble sleeping after the break-in and started to feel like even the simplest of tasks required immense effort and a level of focus that I was utterly incapable of.

Every day people seemed to ask me how I was doing, and every day I lied and said I was anxious but giving myself time to feel normal again.

It wasn’t a lie that I was anxious. I was internally shaking and jumpy, my hearing over sensitive, and my mommy strength dissipated. Bunny got sick with a stomach bug for a few days and I was so teary and emotional at the thought of anything happening to him, you’d have thought his illness was life threatening.

But it was a total lie that I was giving myself time to feel better. Inside I was chastising myself for not holding my shit together, for being weak, for being scared, for not getting back into my normal schedule.

The only upside was I soon became tired of pretending when nobody was around.

The charade was up. I was tired of running from my feelings, of trying to be ‘the strong one’. Tired of torturing myself with critical lists of how I wasn’t good enough. Tired of thinking and not feeling. Tired of striving for a vision of my perfect self.

Finally, I lay down on my bed and decided that for one day all I wanted to do was stay still with my life. Not write. Not blog. Not read self-help books. Not analyze. Not give myself pep talks.

Just play with my son, celebrate Christmas with my friends, feel scared if I wanted to, be paranoid and check every lock, and then hole up and watch a stream of Sex and the City re-runs. I wanted to laugh, cry, feel normal, enjoy some mindlessness just for a day.

But then the next day I felt the same. I didn’t care if I never blogged, wrote or worked again. I was just so tired of everything. I decided to give myself another FREE DAY. Then that went into another, and another.

A week later I couldn’t believe how much better I felt. Content. At peace in my home. Sitting still with my life and liking what I saw.

A certain clarity seems to have settled within this mental space and I have thrown myself back into my fiction writing and reading with a passion I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m looking forward to Christmas and enjoying each day as it comes. Right now, I have no plans beyond that.

What does this mean for SHE-POWER?

For the remainder of this year, I’ll only be posting sporadically or not at all. I don’t know exactly. It depends on if I have anything astounding to say.

I do feel bad for taking the past couple of weeks off and sounding so unsure of the blog’s current direction, but I can assure you I am NOT abandoning SHE-POWER. Just taking a much needed time out – enjoying my life, this festive time of year and getting my novel writing back on track.

Hope you all understand and won’t abandon me.

Speak to you soon.

Kelly

Flickr Photo by Tonyc

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{ 2 trackbacks }

28 Ways to Slay the Delay | Marc and Angel Hack Life
04.03.09 at 5:03 pm
Bloggers Who Quit |
05.05.09 at 1:40 pm

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lance 12.15.08 at 11:40 pm

Hey Kelly,
You do what you need to do – for you and for your family – there’s nothing more important than that. Your words echo in me the importance of really being in the moments of our lives – sometimes to be still, sometimes to play with our children, or to really connect with our significant others. Time to just ‘be’.

I feel such raw honesty in your writing today – honesty spoken from the soul – about how you’ve gotten to where you are here today. It’s one of the reasons I keep coming back – in your words, I feel truth – and sometimes, sometimes – that goes directly to my core. It does today…

Enjoy this holiday season, and all the joy it has to offer. Write when you are ready…I’ll be here…

Lance’s last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day

2 Stacey / Create a Balance 12.16.08 at 12:16 am

I’ll be here too. Giving your “self” the time off is uplifting and helps others give that gift to their “selves” too. Your life lesson of the importance of being still will reach everyone who reads this post. I have been thinking about how I was going to “fill” the days of the holiday season…now I”ll be sure to not over fill my days so I have enough time to just be still. Thanks!

Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..Celebrate Your Life Friday! 12.12.2008

3 Dot 12.16.08 at 1:29 am

Congratulations on turning that awful invasion into something positive! I’m glad you allowed yourself time to accept and feel your feelings and recuperate from that person entering your home. It will only make your writing better.

Dot’s last blog post..How to Get Published

4 Vered - MomGrind 12.16.08 at 4:54 am

I don’t think any of your readers will abandon you.

This post… it was excellent. So REAL. As Lance put it – raw honesty.

I am planning a blogging break too, during my kids’ winter break from school. I think it’s completely appropriate.

Another thought: if everyone in the blogosphere only posted when they had something meaningful to say, the blogosphere would become a much better place.

Love
Vered

5 Chris 12.16.08 at 6:11 am

I’m right there with ya baby! I still read blogs but I find it more and more enticing to spend most of my time around people who I really love. I will blog again though but now is just not the time.

Chris’s last blog post..I Shall Return

6 Davina 12.16.08 at 6:36 am

Take care of yourself Kelly. Follow your passion! I look forward to reading more when you are ready.

Davina’s last blog post..Future Self Meditation Invites Guidance

7 Mike Goad 12.16.08 at 8:16 am

Focus on what you need to do and what’s important to you and your family and have a very wonderful holiday!

Mike Goad’s last blog post..Toys for Christmas — 25 Days of Christmas: Day 15

8 Roz Mitchell 12.16.08 at 8:31 am

Kelly enjoy every moment of your day ,hour, minutes wether you are doing something or just cruising the day away.We learn so much from being quiet in the moment,because this is when things present themselves to you as you dont have alot of clutter going on in your head and those ideas and insperations are foremost in front to do with what you wish.Enjoy and be happy within your circle now and always.
All the best for the festive season and new year.I look forward to new and exciting writings in the new year.

9 Marelisa 12.16.08 at 10:46 am

Hi Kelly: I have a couple of the Sex and the City seasons on DVD and I watch them when I need a cheer-me-up. I’m not taking a break in the near future, but I do foresee a break around February or so. Take all the time you need, I’ll be here :-)

Marelisa’s last blog post..Productivity and Foie Gras

10 Jenny Mannion 12.16.08 at 11:15 am

Hi Kelly,
Take all the time you need to be you and enjoy your family. Your readers will all be here and wish the best for you. The holidays and the end of the year is a perfect time to sloww down, assess, and do what is best for YOU! You are the most important person in your life and if you don’t take care of yourself everything else suffers as well. Spoken from me, another mommy, recovering perfectionist, professional life and home juggler…. 😉 I wish you and your loved ones all the best for a happy and healthy holiday and 2009!
Lots of love and a big hug Kelly, Jenny

Jenny Mannion’s last blog post..“What If?” A Life Changing Movie NOT to be Missed!

11 BC Doan 12.16.08 at 11:33 am

Take care of yourself, Kelly…and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

BC Doan’s last blog post..Images for the Second Week of December

12 Urban Panther 12.16.08 at 11:44 am

Be well, Kelly. And when you do pop in, I’ll be right here!

13 kailani 12.16.08 at 12:55 pm

Sometimes we all need a break so we can see things we new eyes. See you when you get back!

14 Hunter Nuttall 12.16.08 at 1:46 pm

I don’t understand readers who abandon bloggers because they slow down a little. I think most people will understand that sometimes a time-out is needed to restore balance. You own your blog, your blog doesn’t own you. You have our permission to enjoy your life. :)

15 J.D. Meier 12.16.08 at 4:57 pm

Way to be.

Great quote and tie in. Enjoy the happiness you have.

16 Kelly 12.16.08 at 10:20 pm

@Everyone
Thanks for being so understanding and cool. Your support means a lot. At this time of year I think it’s probably the best time to slow down and take stock of our lives and really appreciate what we have. Hope you’re all enjoying your pre-Christmas celebrations.

Kelly

17 Cath Lawson 12.16.08 at 11:20 pm

Hi Kelly – It sounds like time off has done you the world of good. I’ve been writing ahead so I can slow down a bit.

I’m not surprised you’re finding it difficult to sleep. Have you tried guided meditations. I’ve been using those recently – you can get some great ones on Amazon.

18 SpaceAgeSage 12.17.08 at 2:58 am

Good for you! One day of rest might be enough for some, but folks like me and you with Inner Critics need more time to re-boot, refocus, and refresh. I’m glad you used the anxiousness as an indicator. It can be that for you again, so listen! A quote I like to remind myself of passion versus duty: “If you are living out of a sense of obligation you are slave.” Wayne Dyer

SpaceAgeSage’s last blog post..Your kind of neighborhood … or not?

19 Goddess Leonie I Creative Goddess 12.17.08 at 11:03 am

Hi Kelly!
So so lovely to connect with another fellow Aussie… I absolutely LOVE the name of your website and what you are creating here, precious!
Bright blessings,
Goddess Leonie
{a Qld-er currently living in Canberra}

20 LisaNewton 12.17.08 at 10:40 pm

Thank you so much for this post. Too often I get so wrapped up in my “goals” that I forget the big picture.

Family only comes around once, so take the time and enjoy.

21 Robin 12.18.08 at 9:46 am

This sounds wonderful, Kelly! And I reckon it’s really interesting the way we just don’t know what we will be doing when we decide to totally follow inner guidance in the moment (which is why I have never been very keen on having goals, other than things like “feeling satisfied”).

So I hope you get the urge to keep the blog up – but if you don’t, I know we’ll still see each other some time! Have a a great Christmas!

Robin’s last blog post..What If? The Movie – Clip 2

22 VeRonda 12.19.08 at 4:28 pm

Wow, Kelly! I love, love this post… seriously. Its my sentiments exactly. I’ll visit from now on, but I had to express how refreshing it was to stumble upon your site and to read what you had to say. Life is so much about being a better you and ensuring that you take care of yourself… for me, I can be a better person to others when I’m healthy all around, myself. Thanks.

23 Jannie 12.24.08 at 7:04 am

The William Feather quote is very powerful and certainly says it all, thank you.

Jannie’s last blog post..Suggestions?

24 adhd 09.25.14 at 8:57 pm

What really can rot a feeble marriage is borderline behavior.

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