Quote of the Week – Let Go Of Grievances

by Kelly on May 6, 2009 · 17 comments

in Inspiration. Happiness. Self Improvement

grievances-post“Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings.”

– Andre Maurois
1885-1967, Writer

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I wasn’t going to post because I’m down with bronchitis at the moment, but I came across this beautiful quote today and just had to share it.

I think many of us know the benefit of releasing life’s dramas and consciously choosing where to focus our time and energy. However, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to let go of our ego and its attachment to being right or pointing the finger when we’ve been wronged.

The problem is every minute you expend time and energy on so-called problems, that’s time you’ll never get back to enjoy all that is wonderful in your life.

I was so stressed about the birthday party I just threw on the weekend, mostly because I really wanted it to go perfectly and MusicMan seemed blase about all the work involved. But, now a lot of my anxieties seem so silly.

The party was great. Bunny had a blast, and there were no major hiccups. Even if there had been, I don’t think it would have dulled the enthusiasm of a bunch of over-excited pre-school children. So, why did I spend all last week worrying?

Hopefully, I’ll remember this lesson, and relax the next time I try to organise a party, or someone doesn’t behave as I would like.

What about you? Do you dwell on all the little hiccups and grievances of life, or have you already learned this valuable lesson ?

Kelly

Flickr Photo by Bern@t

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Positively Present 05.06.09 at 1:40 am

There are definitely times that I get caught up in the little things and don’t let things go of that I should (though I’m getting better at this now). I really appreciate you posting the quote. I’m in bed sick myself so I understand that it’s not that easy to post when you’re not feeling well, but it is such a wonderful quote and I’m so glad you shared it!

Positively Present’s last blog post..rainy days and mondays…

2 Vered - MomGrind 05.06.09 at 3:32 am

I’m still in the process of learning. Just like you and MusicMan, Ido is so much better than I am at not sweating the small stuff.

Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Bloggers Who Quit

3 Urban Panther 05.06.09 at 6:22 am

For the most part, I let it go, but every once in awhile something really triggers me. Generally, when I stop and think about it, it’s associated with a fear I still cling to. For example, the huge and unexpected income tax bill I got from the Province of Quebec. AFTER I calmed down, I realized it was based on my fear of debt and not having ‘enough’ money in the bank. So, I think worries are okay, as long as you use them to figure out what’s really going on.

Urban Panther’s last blog post..Is this a mid-life crisis?

4 Lisa (mommymystic) 05.06.09 at 6:29 am

Kelly, your birthday party story resonates with me, because I did the exact same thing with my eldest’s three-year old party two years ago. She had just started at a new preschool and it was my first ‘kid’ birthday party, and in retrospect I cannot believe how worked up over it I got. My reaction really took me by surprise, as I realized how much I was worried about other’s judgments of it. Crazy! I mean, throw a bunch of three-year olds on a playground and give them cupcakes and it’s basically a stellar day in their eyes! But when our kids are involved, unusual emotions can surface…To answer your question, for the most part I have worked through this pattern, and I have learned to let go and accept things as they are and as they come, but it is by no means a closed issue in my life…there’s this song called ‘It won’t mean a thing in a hundred years’ that I really like, and I often think how often it’s even just a hundred hours before something that seemed so major at the time is already forgotten…

Lisa (mommymystic)’s last blog post..April in Review

5 Sami 05.06.09 at 9:29 am

In recent years I have really practised letting go of the little things (and some big ones for that matter) that tick me off or cause me to worry. I have found that situations/problems always work out one way or another.

I’ll usually say to myself something like “this too will pass” or “have faith” or “breathe” to help with letting go. Whilst I’m not always successful at it, I’ve gotten a lot better and am far more peaceful than I used to be.

Sami’s last blog post..The Daisy List: #32. Plant a Herb Garden (Part 2)

6 Marelisa 05.06.09 at 11:40 am

Hi Kelly: As the quote states, we lose irreplaceable hours ruminating about grievances that won’t even matter a year from now. I’m getting a lot better at catching myself when I’m going down an unproductive state of mind and stopping myself.

7 Cath Lawson 05.06.09 at 12:38 pm

Hi Kelly – Sorry you’re feeling ill and I hope you get well soon.

This post has come at a good time for me. I thought I was getting good at ignoring the ego, after reading the Eckhart Tolle bok. But PMS seemed worse than usual last night and I couldn’t switch it off. So instead of having a nice sleep, I had bad thoughts that left me feeling v miserable.

8 Evelyn Lim 05.06.09 at 1:31 pm

Sorry to learn that you have not feeling well. Too much worrying, huh?

I don’t think I am “there” yet, in letting go of all my worries. I am learning over and over again, that I am a creator of my own experiences. So in a sense, there is really need to get anxious.

It appears that many of my intentions are manifesting. I think it came from my spiritual practice. It’s wonderful that I experience positive outcomes. However, if I should worry, I manifest negative ones too!! I have to be watchful over the thoughts in my mind.

Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Intuitive Messages To Who I Am

9 Kelly 05.06.09 at 1:45 pm

@Positively Present
Get well soon and hope I gave you a shot of inspiration for the day :)

@Vered
Actually when I said MusicMan was being blase, what I meant was he wanted the big party, but was leaving me to do all the work! He did chip in with the To-Do list though after I had a melt-down about it, so he was redeemed.

You and Ido probably have a lovely balance then if you’re a perfectionist and he’s good at letting the little things go – your girls will benefit from that. In our household, MusicMan doesn’t stress about home/family stuff much, but he does about work, so we’ve both got lessons to learn :)

Kelly

10 Kelly 05.06.09 at 1:53 pm

@UP
I think you’re spot on here and fears will always make certain worries kick in. The upside is that can be illuminating about what fears you still have to work on. However, I don’t think anyone likes it when the tax man comes calling…

@Lisa
I think if you only put yourself forward three years almost 100% of the things we worry about would mean absolutely nothing. But I like to hear I am not the only person who gets tied up in knots about making my son happy :)

@Sami
You know, this is what’s crazy to me – I KNOW that everything works out one way or another. In some areas of my life when problems come up I can absolutely apply this knowledge and let go, but in others, I still get worked up. It just annoys me. But I guess I should focus on the journey and congratulate myself that I really do worry a lot less than I used to, and I rarely let other people upset me anymore.

Kelly

11 Kelly 05.06.09 at 2:01 pm

@Marelisa
And focusing on our improvements is really the key, isn’t it?

@Cath Lawson
I still haven’t read Eckhart Tolle yet, but it is on my list. Sounds like it addresses a lot of my issues. Sorry you had a bad night, but a new day is a fresh start so hope the PMS abates soon.

@Evelyn
Definitely too much worrying, busyness and feeling overwhelmed – it’s no wonder I got sick. The body has forced me to stop and rest, which is really what I’ve needed. I know what you mean about those pesky negative thoughts, though I try to concentrate more on keeping my emotions in a positive place because my thoughts are many and there’s stories and characters mixed up with all that real life thinking. I can’t keep track of it all!

Kelly

12 Robin 05.06.09 at 8:13 pm

I’m really glad the party went well, Kelly – I was a bit worried because there were some floods in Sydney. I’ve got much better at not dwelling on hiccups since being with Frank – mainly because I would be sunk if I wasn’t. Frank and I have different ideas about what needs doing before a party, too – we are getting better at working together on it.

Robin’s last blog post..Life And Teaching Of The Masters Of The Far East

13 Kelly 05.07.09 at 7:56 am

@Robin
The floods were where we used to live – my old street in fact! Very freaky.

Kelly

14 Jenny Mannion 05.08.09 at 1:28 am

Hi Kel,

So glad the party went well. Coincidentally enough (or not) I wound up with bronchitis after my son’s 3rd birthday party and it was one I was very worked up about beforehand (TONS of guests). Following is my favorite quote on grievances that I learned while listening to a Deepak Chopra guided meditation while I was healing and have repeated it ever since.
“Repeat the following statement derived from A Course in Miracles to help you release toxic emotions from your heart. Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle. I relinquish all regrets, grievances and resentments and choose the miracle”.

That quote has helped me many times. I am finally “getting” the less we hold onto results the smoother everything goes. Yeah, I’ve been studying it for over two years now but making it a daily habit has taken a BIT of time. :-)

I hope you feel better soon Kel. :-)

Love,
Jenny

15 Dot 05.09.09 at 1:51 am

Sorry to hear you’ve got bronchitis. Definitely not a pleasant thing. It went through the company where I work for about a month and I didn’t escape.

I think the woman is often the designated “small stuff coordinator” in male/female relationships, so it’s probably natural that the small stuff affects us more.

I’m still trying to learn not to sweat the small stuff. I have a saying that I tell other people, but then forget to use on myself. “In five years, what will it matter?”

Dot’s last blog post..April Showers and May Flowers

16 Jay 05.09.09 at 6:45 am

Oh, my goodness, you have no idea how apposite this quote is for me today! I run a small forum and we’re having a major, but major, ruckus going on there right now about something which should have been forgotten days ago. I’ve just made a new banner incorporating this quote as a strong remember to everyone.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

17 Jay 05.09.09 at 6:46 am

Oh, and I meant to add, I am so sorry to hear you have bronchitis. I know for myself how horrible this is, and how weak it makes you feel. I hope you throw it off very soon!

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