When I started SHE-POWER Women with the beautiful Jemi, I always had in mind that I would do a partner interview series of SHE-POWER Men.

Like the women’s interview series, SHE-POWER Men is about celebrating ordinary men who live their lives in extraordinary, yet simple ways. Men who like and respect women. Men who strive to live with integrity and honesty.

Clay Collins was always my first choice to kick off SHE-POWER Men. His alternative productivity blog, The Growing Life is somewhat of a blogging phenomenon - over 1000 subscribers by the end of its second month. Then there’s his guest articles at blogs such as Dumb Little Man, Zenhabits, Write to Done and Copyblogger, making Clay one of blogging’s new rising stars.

But most of all I chose Clay Collins because he’s a smart and interesting man with a lot to say and a gifted writer with a truly fresh approach. He’s also been a great blogging buddy of mine and has an easy charm and sincerity that I really wanted to capture for SHE-POWER Men. And if you’ve ever read the Dedication to his Grandparents on The Growing Life then you’ll know why I’m voting him Blogging Bachelor of the Year.

Here is Clay Collins talking life, women, blogs, politics and more.

My idea of the perfect weekend is…

Waking up next to someone awesome, going for a run in the arboretum (or a long bike ride), having a picnic outside with friends, listening to some NPR, and doing some writing.

My mother always told me…

My mother is amazing. My mom always tells me to “be good.” The dialogue goes something like this:

———
Me: talk to you later, mom.

Mom: OK, Clay. Be good.

Me: [Sigh]. I’ll be good mom.

Mom: And you know what that means, Clay.

Me: Yeah, mom, I know what that means.

Mom: It means take care of yourself.

Me: I know. Thanks mom. I love you.

———
In this day and age, so many parents coerce their children into getting good grades, obtaining a respectable career, etc. Parents too frequently convey the notion that “being good” means towing the societal line. So I’m eternally grateful that my mom taught me that being good simply means doing what’s right for me and taking care of myself (physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc.). Taking care of myself, of course, also means taking care of others, because doing our part to lift each other up is a basic human need.

My mom also tried to brainwash me into thinking that I could do whatever I wanted to do. She always told me that “you can do whatever you want if you really want it.” For better or worse, the brainwashing attempts were successful.

What’s your favorite blog to read? Which is most overrated?

Melissa Pierce’s blog is damn cool. And my friend Laurie also has a pretty awesome blog as well. This blog is also pretty fantastic. I also really like 1000 Cuts by Monk Mojo.

The productivity/self-development blogosphere has its share of approval-seeking and overly sensitive writers, and it’s nice to see someone having fun with the whole genre. (Yes, it’s true that Monk Mojo’s made me look like a badass but his blog would probably be a favorite regardless). Rolf Potts vagabonding blog is also damn cool. That man’s my hero.

The problem I have with most self-help/productivity blogs is that they flood us with tips (we’ve hit the TIP tipping point and things have gone WAY too far). If I need to acquire a new skill, or am looking for a list of 100 motivation hacks, then I’ll go to Google.

What I want in my feed reader is (1) good & artful writing, and (2) perspective. I’m looking for creative non-fiction.

My most defining moment was…

When I discovered life and my adult self in Ghana, and when I returned from Ghana to Minneapolis and built a new reality. Like Ethan Zukerman, my heart’s in Accra. I want to go back.

Where do you hope to be in 10 years time?

Writing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like so many others, I love writing. I could do it all day. I don’t have issues with writers block, or passion. I just don’t have the time to write 24/7 and a man’s got to make a living. So my dream is to have enough money to feed my family and children, enough time to write, and to be somewhat well-received as an author. It’s nice to know that your work is being read.

What makes you angry and/or sad?

Oh god. HP technical support in Bangalore really pisses me off. President Bush. Military solutions to non-military problems. Hunger really makes me sad because it’s a problem that doesn’t have to exist. Xenophobia, water boarding, and human rights violations also get me worked up.

Do you think men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?

No I don’t. I’d recommend taking a look at two great books: Sperm Wars and The Red Queen.

Do you vote?

Absolutely. If you don’t then you’re partially responsible for this mess we’re in.

If YES, is there anything (eg. a scandal) that would change your mind about your preferred candidate?

Oh sure. If I found out about several covered-up connections between Barack Obama and big business then I’d have to reassess my preference.

Do you regard yourself as a “good catch”? Why or why not?

As always, it depends. I like trying new things so dating me usually involves trying out different camp sites, making new recipes, swimming in new bodies of water, going on impromptu road trips, and good substantive conversations combined with a healthy dose of nonsense.

That said, I’m meeting more and more women these days who are looking to start a family and want a guy to be (in part) infrastructure for their lives (or an enabler for a laundry list of goals). I’m not that guy right now. Someday I’ll want to be a father and when that day comes I’ll probably embrace a more conventional approach to relationships, but until that day comes I’m unlikely to be infrastructure for someone else’s life. I’ll welcome certain things when I’m ready but I’m not there yet.

I really hope that this doesn’t sound misogynistic.

At what point will you feel that you and The Growing Life are a success?

I think it’s already a success and I’m happy with who I am as a person. TGL’s a success because my readers and I are on the same page. When I write something that really resonates with me it also tends to resonate with them. I really didn’t know what to think when I started TGL, but I ended up with 200 subscribers the first month and 800 the second. Everything else feels like gravy. Life is good.

And a Few Questions From The Readers…

What is the biggest change you plan to make in your life this year?

Question courtesy of Cath Lawson

I really don’t know. I honestly haven’t thought about it very much. I’m really not very goal oriented. I’d like to buy a condo and Minneapolis and start laying down very deep roots there, so maybe that’s it.

Settling down, family, marriage: looking forward to, or scared of?

Question courtesy of Vered@MomGrind

Children are great and I’ll happily commit to someone when I’m ready to have children. Probably not earlier. Getting married prematurely, however, scares me sh*tless.

Do you think men remember romantic/relationship events like women do? Eg. First kiss

Question courtesy of Charlotte@CharmedLife

I actually think guys are far more sentimental than women. Guys savor deep emotional connections because they happen much less frequently. So while guys seem to be FAR TOO LOGICAL most of the time, those intense emotional moments are driven much deeper into our psyches because they’re peak experiences.

Was there ever a time when you considered giving up on your blog?

Question courtesy of Chris@WatdaWat

Not really. The whole experience has been great. Sometimes I think I should be spending more time on my book proposal and less time on blog entries, but I don’t think The Growing Life will be going away anytime soon. It’s too much fun, and growing far too fast, for me to put down.

Thanks

Clay

Photo 1 of Clay and friend
Photo 2 provided by StewieD
Photo 3 provided by hjl

 

Considering it has been almost a week since my last post and in that time SHE-POWER was kidnapped by a Korean religious group, you could be forgiven for thinking I’ve given up on you. Packed my bags and closed up shop.

But never fear my faithful constituents (see my God complex is in full force now - all it needed was an excuse), I am here. I have returned. I may not have anything exciting to say, but what does that matter when you can bask in my all knowing glory. Bring your offerings, your children, your burdens, your ailments and I shall …

Okay, enough! I’ll stop.  This is beyond funny, I’m probably just getting into offensive territory now.

The truth is my server issues dragged on much longer than I expected and my site has only been functioning in a normal fashion since late Monday morning (Sydney time). Since then I have been flat-chat with work and trip preparations, and I still am very busy so this is probably as good a time as any to let you know that I won’t be posting as regularly from now until the end of June.

I’m leaving for Spain in two weeks and I have clients to please, families to organize, bookings to confirm, itineraries to nut out, suitcases to pack and a million other things to do which probably should have been done already, but my hubby and I seem to have lost track of time.

I will endeavor to post at least once a week, even while I am overseas, but please forgive me if it all becomes too hard and not fun and I forget about you so I can enjoy my first family vacation in years. It’s not personal. I don’t have any issues I’d like to air. We’re still pals. I’ll be back.

But I am SO looking forward to Spain. It’s going to be bliss. With lots of time bumming around, walking on white sand beaches, feasting my eyes on gorgeous architecture, eating tapas, drinking sangria and getting laid. Oops, did I just say that?

Well, come on, what else are holidays for?

Moving on from my currently dismal sex life and my great hopes for the future, I am almost finished with the next extract of SHE-POWER Fiction, so I’m aiming to get that to you ASAP. Then I should have my Clay Collins interview up by next week and maybe even a guest post for you too. So, stick around and normal posting will resume in July.

Kelly

Photo by ul Marga

This weekend my internet connection has been problematic, dropping out at random and without warning. Very annoying. I’ve been trying to get a couple of half-written articles completed, but it just hasn’t been possible, so I’ve found my mind going around in circles, throwing up lots of questions that have been stewing around in there for awhile.

Questions like:

What niche am I in?

What do I offer my readers? What more can I give?

What’s unique about me?

Should I write an e-book, and what would it be about?

What can I do to move my subscriber numbers to the next level?

And the big one that’s been circulating for some time; should I cut SHE-POWER Fiction?

You’re probably thinking right now, “Wow, she really doesn’t know what she’s doing here.” And you’d be right. At least a little bit anyway.

Like my life itself, this blog is a work in progress and I tend to live and write by gut instinct. Everything you’ve ever read on this blog has poured forth from my heart and soul. Even if an article has seemed trivial to you, it’s been authentic and meaningful to me at the time I published it. On that day, those words, whether mundane or profound, were the words I wanted to communicate to you.

That said, this blog is not just about me. YOU are the reason I take time away from my young son and family and friends to blog on a regular basis. You may not have been here in the beginning when SHE-POWER was started, but the blog was nothing then. It was an idea, a catchy url. Now it’s a tool that I use to serve and entertain YOU.

So tell me, what is SHE-POWER to you? Do you have any feedback you’d like to share with me? Because for a chick that usually has a lot to say, I’m going to go out on a limb and admit I’m a bit stumped for answers here. I know the ideas I’m trying to communicate, but I don’t know what you’re actually receiving.

One decision I have made for the moment is to move SHE-POWER Fiction to its own page.

As an aspiring novelist, this category is very important to me. I not only want to share my stories and characters with an audience, but I want to impose a public discipline on myself to keep up my fiction writing.

That said, I’m not sure SHE-POWER is the right place for fiction. Some of you are devoted fans of my current storyline with Clarissa and Scott and email and write me with encouragement. I really appreciate that, thank you. Many others don’t seem to click through and read these posts. So, what to do?

For the moment, the next extract of SHE-POWER Fiction will be the last blog post. After that, I’ll post a quick message to let you know I’ve updated the Fiction Page, but you’ll then have to follow a link to read the story extract. That way, people who are interested get their Clarissa and Scott fix, and people who aren’t can just ignore the notification.

I will also get a chance to see how many people are actively seeking the stories, which will help me decide what to do with SHE-POWER Fiction long term. I have thought about moving all fiction to another writing site, but I’ll make that decision in due course.

Hope you’re having a great weekend, and I look forward to hearing any thoughts you might have about the future of this blog.

Kelly

Photo by aussiegall

Illustrious party goers, welcome to SHE-POWER!

I’ve dug out my party dress, wobbled into my strappy stilettos and slathered my face in make-up. None of this is usual practice for me now, so please lend a helping hand if I fall over on the dance floor, or forget I’ve got a dress on and start flashing my knickers.

The music for this event will be a hearty mix of 80’s and 90’s classics, with a bit of The Killers, White Stripes, Pink and Amy Winehouse thrown in. Outdated dance moves are encouraged, the volume will be extra loud and bitchy people who think they’re too cool for school will be escorted to the door.

Now we’ve all got a cocktail in our hand… and if you haven’t, what’s wrong with you? They’re free! Let’s get acquainted.

My name is Kelly, and SHE-POWER is my inspirational and entertaining site for women. Here you’ll find tips for life, love and family, mixed with thoughtful quotes and feel-good stories.

I write about me, the world I live in, and my own quest to live a bold and adventurous life. In my posts you’ll find that I believe happiness comes from staying true to who we are, while appreciating all that we have, and giving as much of ourselves as we can.

On a personal note, I’m a freelance writer, aspiring novelist, mother, wife, and an all round cool chick on the wrong side of 35. I love my family, my friends - near and far, films, books, dancing, traveling, tropical rain, the ocean, a good meal with a smooth Cabernet Merlot, and nights out with ‘the girls’.

Want to know more? Ask me - I’m a reasonably open book.

Enough about me, what about you! Leave me a comment and introduce yourself. I love making new friends and finding new blogs, so if you’re a fellow blogger hang about and let’s chat over a drink or three.

Better yet, subscribe to SHE-POWER and we’ll dance along through cyberspace together. Thanks for stopping by.

Cheers

Kelly

I’ve had a lousy week. Seven days of a respiratory infection, coupled with a feverishly ill son. I may not technically be dying, but I’ve definitely wallowed in the possibility as I’ve lain on the couch with a whimpering child and a hacking cough. Attractive image, I know.

As a consequence, my posting has fallen off a bit. My new SHE-POWER Fiction is still in draft form and I hope to polish it up and publish it in the next day or so. In the mean time, all this lounging around the house has had an upside in that I’ve spent lots of time surfing the web, feeding my groggy, medicated brain.

Here are the links I’ve cruised and loved this week:

Life on a Shoestring Budget has some creative and adventurous ideas for how to make your dollar go further. Check out their new 5 part series: 20 Ways to Live on Almost Nothing.

Cath Lawson writes about how to make yourself stand out as a freelancer in: Nude Freelancer Storms Google Campus

Leo from Zen Habits provides some tips for how to lift yourself out of a funk in: Flip Your Karma: 8 Tricks to Turn the Bad into the Awesome

Celebrate being a free woman with generous human rights this Saturday, 8 March by visiting the official International Womens Day website. There’s podcasts, photographs, information on the 97 years of IWD and some interesting links.

Caroline Middlebrook gives 6 Steps to Find the Right Work-Life Balance. I really liked this article as this is something I struggle with. I seem to go through binges where I neglect my work and lavish family, friends with quality time, then I panic that I’m not getting enough writing done so I chain myself to the computer and fob everyone off until my son practically has to rip my fingers off the keyboard. Can I blame astrology here? Us Librans struggle with balance…

The article, Sex, Blogs and Screenwriting got my attention this week with a focus on Diablo Cody, the winner of this year’s Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. The film in question, Juno is a must see, and Diablo Cody is particularly interesting because she first gained attention as a blogger. This led to a book deal, which then led to a screen writing career, which then led to her stealing MY DREAM!

And following up with more Juno goodness, Mia Freedman, a well known Australian writer/media personality wrote a funny post on the Academy Award nominated actress, Ellen Page. Check out Not that there’s anything wrong with being a lesbian, you understand. Make sure you watch the videos. I like people who don’t take themselves too seriously.

Enjoy this blog while you can; a Hollywood producer is going to be calling me any day now…

Photo by spoon

I said I wasn’t going to make New Years Resolutions this year, but here I am, a couple of days into the year and I’m already breaking that vow. My New Years Resolution for 2008 is to to WRITE. Write obsessively. Write 2-3 times a week for this blog, finish my Mexico novel, write a second, sell at least one short story or even better one of the novels. Just write!

Even as I say this my old foe, FEAR is creeping up the back of my neck. Why would I think I have that much to say? And who am I kidding, I have never been a great creature of habit. I am the original fly by the seat of my pants girl. Omigod, I’m breaking out in hives…

Hang on, I don’t get hives - this could be worse than I thought!

Back to reality (or as close as I get to it considering I live in a world of my imagination) - my ultimate goal is to make my living as an author/travel writer/writing mentor (I’m great with story structure and untangling plot problems) so this involves having a strong writing habit. Previously my writing habit has been enforced by working as a copywriter (thank you deadlines) and attending a mentoring course to write a first and second draft of a novel. Now that I am winding back the copy writing and have finished with the Writers Studio, I’ll have to trail blaze my own path to writing success and this means the M word - MOTIVATION. I really must research how one acquires this skill.

Anyway, I’ve rambled on enough for today. I hope you’ll check back here and come along for the ride while I see if I can become a paid author by the end of the year. It could be wildly amusing…

P.S:

I hope you had a great New Years Eve; mine was fabulous. Watching fireworks from the foreshore under the Sydney Harbour Bridge and across from the Sydney Opera House - I’m not sure it gets much better than that. Check out my pics. The top one is me with my husband, Glenn - even after 11 years we still see stars.

2007 is coming to an end, I am still recovering from Christmas gorging and my brain is on holidays, but I am posting! This is my final hurray for 2007 and I wanted to wish everyone a Safe and Happy New Year. I hope 2008 brings many new adventures and boundless love, health and prosperity for all (I am an optimist).

New Years has always been a time for me to contemplate the state of my life and my resolutions for the coming year, but this year I’m shaking things up a bit. 2007 was a great year for me and it taught me that happiness is only attained in the present, and being grateful for all the blessings I have, not only makes me feel good, but it opens new doors of opportunity for me. So, for the first time ever I am NOT going to make New Years resolutions this year.

Why? Is my life perfect? In short, no. However, focusing on what is lacking in life does not get us more of what we want. It only frustrates and makes me depressed. Besides, who sticks to their New Year resolutions anyway?

I am excited about 2008. I am excited about NOT putting all sorts of pressure on myself to ACHIEVE and ATTAIN. For years I have focused on goals and finding my life purpose, whilst striving to be A SUCCESS. The only thing was, no matter what I achieved, I never felt like a success. The life purpose always seemed to be this unreachable ‘thing’ and there were aways new goals to pursue. It was just a relentless cycle of constant striving and I get exhausted just thinking about it.

So, now I have a new path. One where I strive to only live in the present, be myself, stay honest, and seek joy and serenity in each and every day. It may sound flaky, but my previous choice of trying to control everything today to achieve goals tomorrow, while pretending to be some kick-ass modern woman with all the answers, only made me feel more anxious, disconnected and miserable with every passing year. I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know what tomorrow may bring and that sounds kinda exciting.

This New Years Eve I will be celebrating with my husband in prime position under the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I have loved fireworks since I was a girl, so this is going to be a great night for me, especially since my dad is babysitting my son and we have a night for adults only! We’ll see where that leads us…

Well wishes to all. I’ll be back next week with a post about the courageous Benazir Bhutto. May she rest in peace.

Cheers to all!

Kelly xx