When I started SHE-POWER Women with the beautiful Jemi, I always had in mind that I would do a partner interview series of SHE-POWER Men.

Like the women’s interview series, SHE-POWER Men is about celebrating ordinary men who live their lives in extraordinary, yet simple ways. Men who like and respect women. Men who strive to live with integrity and honesty.

Clay Collins was always my first choice to kick off SHE-POWER Men. His alternative productivity blog, The Growing Life is somewhat of a blogging phenomenon - over 1000 subscribers by the end of its second month. Then there’s his guest articles at blogs such as Dumb Little Man, Zenhabits, Write to Done and Copyblogger, making Clay one of blogging’s new rising stars.

But most of all I chose Clay Collins because he’s a smart and interesting man with a lot to say and a gifted writer with a truly fresh approach. He’s also been a great blogging buddy of mine and has an easy charm and sincerity that I really wanted to capture for SHE-POWER Men. And if you’ve ever read the Dedication to his Grandparents on The Growing Life then you’ll know why I’m voting him Blogging Bachelor of the Year.

Here is Clay Collins talking life, women, blogs, politics and more.

My idea of the perfect weekend is…

Waking up next to someone awesome, going for a run in the arboretum (or a long bike ride), having a picnic outside with friends, listening to some NPR, and doing some writing.

My mother always told me…

My mother is amazing. My mom always tells me to “be good.” The dialogue goes something like this:

———
Me: talk to you later, mom.

Mom: OK, Clay. Be good.

Me: [Sigh]. I’ll be good mom.

Mom: And you know what that means, Clay.

Me: Yeah, mom, I know what that means.

Mom: It means take care of yourself.

Me: I know. Thanks mom. I love you.

———
In this day and age, so many parents coerce their children into getting good grades, obtaining a respectable career, etc. Parents too frequently convey the notion that “being good” means towing the societal line. So I’m eternally grateful that my mom taught me that being good simply means doing what’s right for me and taking care of myself (physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc.). Taking care of myself, of course, also means taking care of others, because doing our part to lift each other up is a basic human need.

My mom also tried to brainwash me into thinking that I could do whatever I wanted to do. She always told me that “you can do whatever you want if you really want it.” For better or worse, the brainwashing attempts were successful.

What’s your favorite blog to read? Which is most overrated?

Melissa Pierce’s blog is damn cool. And my friend Laurie also has a pretty awesome blog as well. This blog is also pretty fantastic. I also really like 1000 Cuts by Monk Mojo.

The productivity/self-development blogosphere has its share of approval-seeking and overly sensitive writers, and it’s nice to see someone having fun with the whole genre. (Yes, it’s true that Monk Mojo’s made me look like a badass but his blog would probably be a favorite regardless). Rolf Potts vagabonding blog is also damn cool. That man’s my hero.

The problem I have with most self-help/productivity blogs is that they flood us with tips (we’ve hit the TIP tipping point and things have gone WAY too far). If I need to acquire a new skill, or am looking for a list of 100 motivation hacks, then I’ll go to Google.

What I want in my feed reader is (1) good & artful writing, and (2) perspective. I’m looking for creative non-fiction.

My most defining moment was…

When I discovered life and my adult self in Ghana, and when I returned from Ghana to Minneapolis and built a new reality. Like Ethan Zukerman, my heart’s in Accra. I want to go back.

Where do you hope to be in 10 years time?

Writing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like so many others, I love writing. I could do it all day. I don’t have issues with writers block, or passion. I just don’t have the time to write 24/7 and a man’s got to make a living. So my dream is to have enough money to feed my family and children, enough time to write, and to be somewhat well-received as an author. It’s nice to know that your work is being read.

What makes you angry and/or sad?

Oh god. HP technical support in Bangalore really pisses me off. President Bush. Military solutions to non-military problems. Hunger really makes me sad because it’s a problem that doesn’t have to exist. Xenophobia, water boarding, and human rights violations also get me worked up.

Do you think men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?

No I don’t. I’d recommend taking a look at two great books: Sperm Wars and The Red Queen.

Do you vote?

Absolutely. If you don’t then you’re partially responsible for this mess we’re in.

If YES, is there anything (eg. a scandal) that would change your mind about your preferred candidate?

Oh sure. If I found out about several covered-up connections between Barack Obama and big business then I’d have to reassess my preference.

Do you regard yourself as a “good catch”? Why or why not?

As always, it depends. I like trying new things so dating me usually involves trying out different camp sites, making new recipes, swimming in new bodies of water, going on impromptu road trips, and good substantive conversations combined with a healthy dose of nonsense.

That said, I’m meeting more and more women these days who are looking to start a family and want a guy to be (in part) infrastructure for their lives (or an enabler for a laundry list of goals). I’m not that guy right now. Someday I’ll want to be a father and when that day comes I’ll probably embrace a more conventional approach to relationships, but until that day comes I’m unlikely to be infrastructure for someone else’s life. I’ll welcome certain things when I’m ready but I’m not there yet.

I really hope that this doesn’t sound misogynistic.

At what point will you feel that you and The Growing Life are a success?

I think it’s already a success and I’m happy with who I am as a person. TGL’s a success because my readers and I are on the same page. When I write something that really resonates with me it also tends to resonate with them. I really didn’t know what to think when I started TGL, but I ended up with 200 subscribers the first month and 800 the second. Everything else feels like gravy. Life is good.

And a Few Questions From The Readers…

What is the biggest change you plan to make in your life this year?

Question courtesy of Cath Lawson

I really don’t know. I honestly haven’t thought about it very much. I’m really not very goal oriented. I’d like to buy a condo and Minneapolis and start laying down very deep roots there, so maybe that’s it.

Settling down, family, marriage: looking forward to, or scared of?

Question courtesy of Vered@MomGrind

Children are great and I’ll happily commit to someone when I’m ready to have children. Probably not earlier. Getting married prematurely, however, scares me sh*tless.

Do you think men remember romantic/relationship events like women do? Eg. First kiss

Question courtesy of Charlotte@CharmedLife

I actually think guys are far more sentimental than women. Guys savor deep emotional connections because they happen much less frequently. So while guys seem to be FAR TOO LOGICAL most of the time, those intense emotional moments are driven much deeper into our psyches because they’re peak experiences.

Was there ever a time when you considered giving up on your blog?

Question courtesy of Chris@WatdaWat

Not really. The whole experience has been great. Sometimes I think I should be spending more time on my book proposal and less time on blog entries, but I don’t think The Growing Life will be going away anytime soon. It’s too much fun, and growing far too fast, for me to put down.

Thanks

Clay

Photo 1 of Clay and friend
Photo 2 provided by StewieD
Photo 3 provided by hjl

NB: This is NOT a sponsored review. I am not taking affiliate commissions for this book, so I have nothing to gain whether you buy it or not. This is just my opinion.

Considering it’s been out for weeks now and I’m such an avid reader of his blog, I thought it was high time I reviewed Leo Babuata’s new e-book: Zen Habits Handbook for Life.

It is not hyperbole to say Leo Babuata is a blogging phenomenon. Zen Habits started a little over a year ago and it has already allowed Leo to leave his job, score a book deal, double his income and win Best Overall Blog of 2007. Not bad for a years work.

Zen Habits Handbook for Life is Leo’s second e-book; the first being Zen to Done, his simplified take on GTD and productivity. This new release is a 75 page e-book that collects hundreds of Leo’s tips on how one can live a simpler, happier, and more productive life.

The e-book consists of three parts: Simplicity, Productivity, and Happiness, with several articles in each part. Some highlights are:

• A step by step guide to de-cluttering your home
• Edit your commitments
• Don’t do everything on your To-Do list
• 72 ways to simplify your life
• Purpose your day using Most Important Tasks (MITs)
• Focus on the big rocks of your life
• How to single task and why it’s important for your peace of mind and productivity
• Live your life consciously
• Boost your self confidence
• How to cultivate compassion

Let’s cut to the chase. Do I think you should buy it?

If you are interested in practical ideas for how to wrestle back control of an overloaded life, and find more time for yourself, your family and what’s most important to you, then Zen Habits Handbook for Life is a must.

Leo is a very precise writer. His suggestions are clearly articulated and he breaks down all processes for change into small, easy steps. There is a wealth of information in these pages and it is easy to pick and choose areas in your life where you need the most change and then implement one or two new actions. There is no fluffing about, no waffle. This man has six kids, he knows people are busy and want useful tips which can be quickly read, understood and acted upon.

The book is also well typeset and easy to scan. I was amazed at how quickly I got through it on my first read, and though I have been reading his blog for the past 5-6 months and have read some back articles, there was a lot of new material for me to get my teeth into.

Now, it must be said that all the information in Zen Habits Handbook for Life can be found on his blog for free. But who has the time to rifle through a year’s worth of articles looking for the best Zen Habits material? At a modest $6.95, and in a handy PDF format, which allows printing or searching for specific items according to classification, this book is tremendous value.

In fact, printing the e-book is a great idea because then you can underline the parts that immediately grab you, and you can read it where ever it suits, like in bed, or on the bus to work.

I also suggest reading the book a couple of times so you can really digest the material and work out the some easy changes you can make immediately. A bit of initial success will do wonders for your motivation, and help you persevere with the more resistant habits you’d like to change. And at $6.95, well that’s the price of a cup of coffee and a piece of cake, so you can’t ask for much cheaper than that!

Leo’s ideas are founded upon some basic principles:

1. Identify what’s most important to you
2. Eliminate everything else
3. Change through baby steps
4. Escape materialism and purge your life of STUFF
5. Single tasking

If this sounds like your cup of tea, then I really recommend Zen Habits Handbook for Life. Leo has used these very ideas to bring about significant changes in his own life, and I believe there’s enough inspiration and practical tools in this book to warrant everyone owning a copy.

See you tomorrow for How I Lost 9kgs and Still Ate Chocolate Cake (Yes, everything with me comes back to cake).

Kelly

The more that you read,
the more things you will know.
The more that you learn,
the more places you’ll go.
Dr. Seuss

Okay, call me slow, but I had never heard of a Book Meme before reading about one on www.collectingmycash.com. Sure, I’ve done email chains before, but not about books and I’ve never heard of a Meme. What a cool word, and a great idea!

I’ve had a life-long love affair with books, so today I am going to start my own Book Meme.

What was the last book you bought?

Eat, Pray, Love

Name a book you have read MORE than once

Lots! One I can see on my bookshelf is ‘The Bronze Horseman’ by Paullina Simons

Has a book ever fundamentally changed the way you see life? If yes, what was it?

‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise Hay

How do you choose a book - eg. by cover design and summary, recommendations or reviews

Cover or recommendation

Do you prefer Fiction or Non-Fiction?

Depends. Sometimes I go through stages of only reading one type, but usually I’m reading one of each

What’s more important in a novel - beautiful writing or a gripping plot?

plot, hands down

Most loved/memorable character (character/book)

Lucky Santangelo (Chances series by Jackie Collins)

Now, leave a comment sharing your answers to the above, and then tell 3 more people about our little Book Meme by:

* Emailing them the link: www.she-power.com, or
* SHARING THIS POST on your preferred social bookmarking site.

I can’t wait to see the books and characters that have made an impact on you.

Kelly

Photograph provided by lunawhimsy

EAT PRAY LOVE is a book I find very hard to review. The whole point of reviewing a book is to be able to judge it from a distance. I cannot do this with EAT PRAY LOVE. I am obsessed with the magic that is this book and the enormous talent that is Elizabeth Gilbert. I want to meet this woman. Okay, I’ll be honest, I want to BE this woman.

EAT PRAY LOVE is the memoir of award winning writer, Elizabeth Gilbert’s one year sabbatical from a life that seems to be collapsing around her. She’s coming out of a nasty divorce, her husband wants to take her for everything she’s worth, her new lover is infatuated one day, distant the next, and she’s on a cocktail of pills for her chronic depression and anxiety.

Like many of us at times like this, Elizabeth wants to get away, but unlike the majority of us, she actually does it, embarking on a trip to ITALY, INDIA and BALI She does what so many of us dream of doing - escaping the mundane of our daily troubles, breaking out of our comfort zone and reshaping our lives in a fundamental way.

And so begins the journey that is EAT PRAY LOVE. She finds pleasure in food and language in Italy, spirituality through meditation and prayer in an Indian ashram, and ends up falling in love with herself, life and her future husband in Bali. However, the most important journey of all is the one that is within, and this is where Elizabeth Gilbert has laid herself bare. She writes with an honesty that is at times uncomfortable, publicly revealing her fears, neuroses and regular bouts of self pity so we can share her often pot-holed, roundabout road to self-acceptance.

The book starts with her sobbing on the bathroom floor night after night as she slowly comes to the realization that her marriage and her life does not reflect what she wants for her future. She is married, financially comfortable, trying to have a baby, basically she knows she SHOULD feel blessed, but she doesn’t. She is tortured by the sense that her life has gone terribly off-track somewhere. She loves her husband and doesn’t want to leave him, but then she also doesn’t want to be with him. So she stays trapped in her misery, unable to move forward in any direction .

I think any woman who has had a committed relationship break down can relate to her struggles here. Relationships end for many reasons, which are often too complicated to articulate, and I respected the fact that Elizabeth Gilbert refused to get into the whys and wherefores of her divorce. The details of her relationship with her ex-husband are not our business, and more importantly not what this book is about.

EAT PRAY LOVE is not about how to survive divorce, or how to find love, or how to travel the world paid for by a publisher (though I wish she gave us tips on that because I’d be very interested). EAT PRAY LOVE is not even a travelogue.

This book is a memoir of self-discovery and a spiritual quest. A story of how one controlling, high strung woman crosses the world in search of inner peace and happiness. What she finds is the love, acceptance and serenity she’d been looking for were never missing. They were always inside of her, and have been found in the silence of meditation, the warmth of a smile, a gratitude for life, an open heart and an acceptance and honoring of self.

The fact that this book is so much about Elizabeth Gilbert - how she feels, what she is scared of, obsessed with, raging against - is the most common criticism of the book on Amazon. People complain that she is narcissistic and shallow, and the book doesn’t give enough of a feel for the countries she is in. But, I think these reviewers are missing the point of the book. The bi-line of EAT PRAY LOVE says One Woman’s Search for Everything. Hello - if that doesn’t say memoir, then I don’t know what does.

So many women in this day and age, I believe, can relate to this book. It is not just a book for divorcees, or those on a spiritual quest. This book is for anyone who has questioned where their life is going, what it’s all about and how can they be happy with themselves.

At the beginning of the book, Elizabeth Gilbert cannot be alone. She cannot let life be. She must control, achieve, and obsess over her lovers and her failures. She describes herself in relationships as a cross between “a golden retriever and a barnacle”, and says she could “make friends with the dead”, anything so she is not left alone with her own thoughts.

How many of us are like this today? In a world where we can effectively do something all the time, many people fill their lives with one meaningless activity after another., Busy busy busy. That’s the name of the game. And if a part of us starts to suspect that this isn’t all life was meant to be, well we shut that voice up by going shopping.

I could go on and on about this book, but I think ultimately you need to read it for yourself. So read EAT PRAY LOVE. It’s a life changing kind of book. It’s written with humor and empathy and great insight. I love this book. I wish I had written this book.

Photo by momma a

I was reading The Lorax by Dr. Seuss to my son tonight, and as the rhyming text rolled off my tongue in sing-song waves I couldn’t help but marvel at the literary brilliance that was Theodor Seuss Geisel.

The Lorax is not one of his better known books, but it has always been my favorite. It’s very much an ode to the dangers of greed and unfettered progress, and as a kid I always loved books and songs with a moral message. I was an anti-capitalist, environmentalist Liberal long before I knew what one was. My dad used to play his guitar to my brother and I every night before bed and one of our favorite songs was an old folk tune called “Throw out your TV”, which tells you a lot about my alternative childhood.

But back to Dr. Seuss. If you have children and you are not reading them Dr. Seuss, then get thee to a book store!

Never has there been a children’s writer who could tell such imaginative stories, draw amazing technicolor graphics that make the characters come alive on the page, whilst also delivering a positive moral message that is too clever and crazy to be preachy.

However, your reading style and rhythm is crucial when introducing your children to Dr. Seuss. If you don’t put expression into the words it just won’t be the same, so relax, maybe have a gargle, do some vocal exercises, throw yourself into character and embrace this roller coaster reading task. Your children will love it, you can immerse yourself in the magic of childhood once more, and best of all, you’ll be instilling a love of words and books. A love that will feed the mind, nurture the soul and keep your children company through the long years ahead.

Some of my best friends have been characters in books, and today I’d like you to meet one. His name is The Lorax.

“The instant I’d finished, I heard a ga-Zump!

I looked.

I saw something pop out of the stump

of the tree I’d chopped down. It was sort of a man.

Describe him? …..That’s hard. I don’t know if I can.

He was shortish. And oldish.

And brownish. And mossy.

And he spoke with a voice

that was sharpish and bossy.”

And just to show you why I love The Lorax so much, I’ll leave you with a few of his inspirational words.

“UNLESS someone like you

cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better.

It’s not.”

And THAT is why I worship at the altar of Dr. Seuss.

Excerpts from The Lorax by Dr. Seuss