This past week was a lousy one for me. I’ve had severe PMS, which took a fiercer than normal hold this month, probably because I’m currently frustrated with certain aspects of my life.

Lucky for me, one of my blogging friends, Charlie Gilkey, wrote a fantastic piece this week on 21 Ways to Quickly Short-Circuit A Funk and it reminded me of all the actions I should be taking (or NOT taking - as in canceling my blog, which I wanted to do all weekend) to get through what my rational mind knows is a temporary slump.

One of the items on Charlie’s list, and one of my great loves is music. I do not play an instrument, but I was raised in a musical household and music is one of the few ways I can circumvent a complete emotional meltdown. In fact, it is probably quite telling that in the real low points of my adult life, when I could barely drag myself out of bed, I had stopped listening to music.

To me, music is as essential as the air I breathe and the food I eat. Music adds a warm glow to life. It heightens the passion, cushions the falls, and adds meaning to the events and relationships that have defined my 36 years.

Here is my life in music:

Childhood

Let It Be, The Beatles, 1970

Both my parents are passionate about music, and my dad, his guitar and our musician friends were an intrinsic element of my early childhood. The Beatles were always on our record player, but Let it Be sticks in my mind because we once lived in an old house in New Zealand which came with an ancient, lumbering organ. I decided that I may not be able to stick with guitar lessons, but goddamn it I was going to master one instrument. This was the one and only song I learned to play.

Mama Mia, Abba, 1976

When I was little I always fancied I could grow up and be Agnetha with her beautiful straight blond hair and groovy fashions. Considering I was a freckled faced brunette with wavy curls this was always unlikely.

Woman in Love, Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb, 1980

My mum loved this album when it came out and I remember this song being played A LOT. I’m not sure if she was a fan of Barbara, or Barry and his tight jeans.

We Are the Champions, Queen, 1977

Freddie was a God in our house and I still bow to his genius today, as does my little sister who was born probably around the time he died. Goes to show that brilliance will always live on.

I Was Made for Loving You, Kiss, 1979

The very start of my music obsession. I used to dance my butt off to this song and was lucky enough to go to the Wellington concert with my parents. There are definite perks to being a kid in a musical family.

My First Song Obsession

Counting the Beat, The Swingers, 1981

Outside of Australia and New Zealand I’m not sure if anyone knows this song, but it was HUGE down under and I taped it from the radio and used to play the tape over and over again. I couldn’t get enough of it, and it still gets a lot of airplay on my iPod now.

Goodbye Happy Families

Come on Eileen, Dexys Midnight Runners, 1982

This song was out when my parents were getting divorced and I was leaving town with no idea where I would live next.The enormity of it all was too much to cope with so I retreated into the world created by this song where the guy will do anything to keep his girl. The song played at the end of year school fete and all I remember is hugging my best friend and wishing I could stop time. It was like I already sensed my carefree childhood was over.

Changing from Girl into Woman

Pleasure and Pain, The Divinyls, 1985

The Divinyls were one of the absolute best Australian bands in the 80s. Chrissy Amphlett was everything I aspired to be: powerful and in-your-face, a true rock chick and sexy as hell. She became my proof that a normal Australian woman could become more than someone’s wife and mother. That there were other options, women who went out there and grabbed life by the throat and defied all expectations. That’s what I wanted to do, and I thought she was bold and beautiful and fabulous. I still do.

Memorable Teenage Crush

With or Without You, U2, 1987

T was a gorgeous, shaggy haired Surfing God and he had both myself and my best friend head over heels. He went to camp for a week and we pined over this song. We were both good friends with him and part of his beach/surfing posse, but other than that, I’m not sure he even noticed we were female.

Hitting the Clubs

Male Stripper, Man 2 Man, 1987

Such a tacky song, but so much fun and my girlfriends and I used to have a ball vamping it up on the dance floor when it came on.

I Want Your Love, Transvision Vamp,1988

Another sassy blond I wanted to be. Wendy James was the girl’s pink marshmallow version of Debbie Harry. Punky, but softer around the edges. Not that I don’t love Ms Harry - she is the original Punk/Pop Priestess after all.

Express Yourself, Madonna, 1989

Madonna was my first icon and she taught me all I needed to know about Girl-Power. She may have had some errors of judgment (SEX book anyone - ick!), but she showed a whole generation of girls that we didn’t have to sit on the sidelines waiting for Prince Charming to come along and marry us. The lyrics to this song should be mandatory study for every teenage girl. It’s a shame the likes of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton copy Madonna’s blatant sexuality without actually taking on the empowerment and self respect that has always gone with it.

Teenage Rebellion

Sweet Child of Mine, Guns N Roses, 1987

This is probably still my favorite song of all time. Nothing else makes me stop whatever I’m doing like this track, and when I listen to it I am 17 again. I also used to love the way Axel Rose moved, which probably led to me falling for my first serious boyfriend because he danced the exact same way. Sex on legs.

Falling in Love for the First Time

Patience, by Guns N Roses, 1989

Like I said, my first love, J was also Gunners crazy and this song encapsulates this period of my life. Love, sex, panel vans and dying to grow up and be free.

Teardrops on the Dance floor, Womack and Womack, 1988

The most played song in the night clubs when I started going on a regular basis, and I still think it’s a cool track. I was under age, but I could always slide myself into some stockings, put on a teeny tiny skirt and sky high heels and take on the world. Big 80s hair and a tiny skirt. I think that’s what J fell in love with.

University Years

Groove is in the Heart, Dee Lite, 1990

In Australia, dance music was just starting to become popular in 1990 and this song was the biggest hit of that era. My girls and I would throw our handbags into a pile in the middle of the floor and dance in a circle around it. Everybody else just get out of the way. You couldn’t do this now because clubs are never big enough for the crowds, but back then and in Newcastle where I went to university, Leroy’s was one of the first multi-leveled night clubs and we’d dance on one floor then go downstairs and drink Illusion cocktails by the jug until we ran out of money or were too drunk to dance.

Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana, 1991

No one screams like Kurt. This is actually not my favorite Nirvana song, but it was the one that got me excited about the band and made me grunge obsessed.

Vogue, Madonna, 1990

Blue Sky Mine, Midnight Oil, 1990

Australia’s own “Rocker with A Conscience” was Peter Garrett and his band, Midnight Oil. These guys are an Australian institution. Talented. Fierce. Passionate. Political. My dad was a huge fan, so I was raised on the Oils and their unique combination of music and social activism. Peter is a politician these days and like many fans I find myself hoping he doesn’t destroy the faith and respect he garnered over the two decades of his musical career.

Death and Loss

Nothing Else Matters, Metallica, 1991

I loved this band in my rebellious teen years, as did my brother and stepbrother, D. When we lost D, the boys all wore Metallica t-shirts to his funeral in honor of a beautiful boy who died before he could become a man. After 16 years, I still can’t listen to this song without crying.

First Heartbreak

Too Many Fish in the Sea, The Marvelettes, 1964

“Don’t waste your time on a fella who doesn’t love you”. Or in my version: “Don’t waste your time on a fella who HITS you”. Need I say more. The perfect song to help you see sense after a messy break-up.

Life is a Highway, Tom Cochrane, 1991

This song and the road tripping video clip reminded me that there was a whole world out there to get excited about. I may have been single but that meant I was FREE!

First Full-Time Job / Flat mates / Being a Grown-up

Mr Jones, Counting Crows, 1993

This song has only good memories for me. New friends. New home. A proper paycheck. Endless possibility.

Miss World, Hole, 1994

Another ballsy rock chick. I guess it’s obvious why I used to like Courtney Love.

Heart Shaped Box, Nirvana, 1993

I was devastated at the death of Kurt Cobain and I must have played this song and the entire In Utero album 10 times a day, every day for a year.

A Small Victory, Faith No More, 1992

Mike Patton has such a distinctive voice and Faith No More were one of my favorite bands back then. I also like this clip because Patton is too sexy for words and my flatmate and I used to replay it over and over again so we could swoon.

Zombie, The Cranberries, 1994

A huge hit and an epic song that squeezes your heart and makes you feel the dread and anguish that life must have been like in Northern Ireland before the truce. One of my all-time favorites tracks. Make sure you check out the video clip, it’s amazing.

Meeting and Falling in Love with My Husband

Glycerine, Bush, 1996

It’s probably not surprising that I grew up to marry a musician and composer. I met my husband, Music Man, when I moved into his share house in Balmain, a harbourside suburb of Sydney. This area was traditionally inhabited by dockers, other tradesmen and their families and like all good working class suburbs it had a pub on every corner. My local (pub) had a few musicians and wannabe musicians and they all loved this song, so we couldn’t get it off the juke box.

Fire, Jimi Hendrix Experience, 1967

I’ve always liked Hendrix, but Music Man LOVES him and plays this song and many others on piano. My husband was the first and only person I have ever heard play a rock song with heavy bass on a grand piano. He rocks out and it sounds awesome. How could I not marry him?

Riders on the Storm, The Doors, 1971

The Doors are another of Music Man’s big musical influences. This song is hauntingly beautiful when he plays it, and I love to kick back and listen to it with my eyes closed.

My Wedding Song

Girl from Ipanema, Astrud Gilberto, 1963

Music Man has eclectic taste in music and he introduced this song to me. We chose it for our wedding because we wanted something different and it was the one song we would always slow dance to.

Travelling

Rockafella Skank, Fat Boy Slim, 1998

When I went to Europe in 1998, I could not escape this song and so I was introduced to the music of Fatboy Slim. When I hear this on the radio it makes me think of Beer Halls in Munich, getting stoned in Amsterdam and way too many bus rides.

Without You, Eminem, 2002

I liked this song when it first came out, but now it makes me want to scream. Even so, it was very popular with the young, posturing males in Mexico who liked to drive around playing it full blast with the windows rolled down. So despite how annoying I find it, it does make me smile and remember a really great time in my life - my first solo trip to Latin America.

Chop Suey, System of a Down, 2001

A favorite on my iPod, and a friend on many long and lonely bus rides through foreign lands.

Mr Bobby, Manu Chao, 2002

Manu Chao seemed to be THE ONLY choice in music for backpacking bums in Guatemala and Mexico. It played in every hostel, in beach huts on the lower Pacific Coast of Mexico and was the track that I downed a double shot of rum to right after I got held up at gun point in Antigua, Guatemala.

Motherhood

This is the music I used to cope with the challenges of being a new mother, while I wondered what I had got myself into and despaired of the world my son would grow up in.

American Idiot, Green Day, 2004

Amazing album. Great song for venting your rage and frustration.

Times They Are A Changing, Bob Dylan, 1964

Bob Dylan was another artist from my childhood, but I really grew to love his music when I discovered my baby son stopped crying whenever I put it on. I bought a cd of his greatest hits and kept it in my baby’s bag with the other essentials, like wipes and nappies (diapers).

The Pusher, Blind Melon, 1996

This is a cover on Nico, a little known album from Blind Melon, an under-rated band. This song is one of my favorite songs for driving and it was played a lot in my first year of motherhood as I drove to soothe my nerves and put my son to sleep.

The Best of You, Foo Fighters, 2005

I love Dave Grohl and I couldn’t do a music list without the Foo Fighters on it. Great song.

Current Favorites

Well Thought Out Twinkles, Silversun Pickups, 2007

I discovered these guys through my husband (of course) at the end of last year and this is the track I am currently wearing out on my iPod, though their other songs are great too.

This has been my music. My life. But I know I’m not the only person who can chart their life with the magic of song. What is the music that means something to you? Share your favorites with me and maybe we’ll find we have more in common than we thought.

Photo1 by xirrannisx, Photo2 by choupigloupi, Photo3 by oddsock, Photo 4 by destructor3521

With FIVE GRAMMY AWARDS and a rocking Grammy performance under her belt (albeit via satellite), does 2008 herald the return of Amy Winehouse?

This music devotee hopes so, because despite her recent troubles, Amy Winehouse deserves to be more than a the equivalent of a tabloid car crash. With her unique fusion of soul, jazz and hip-hop, Amy has a voice that begs attention with its emotional depth and range.

From the silky, elegant tones of You Know I’m No Good to the gutteral rawness of Rehab, Amy Winehouse has created a musical masterpiece with her album, Back to Black. Add to that her signature style - a tattooed, Cleopatra version of Betty Boop - and a feisty demeanor reminiscent of Janis Joplin, and you have a truly unique musician.

I first fell in love with Amy Winehouse’s music a year ago, and since then it has been depressing to see the media go from celebrating her distinctive music to salivating over her spiraling drug problem and seeming lack of dignity. As I pointed out in my Britney Spears article, there are many problems with this kind of celebrity media obsession, but the tragedy with Amy is she is now more known for her self-destructive behavior than her music. My guess is a lot of people who see Amy in the tabloids have no idea who she is. They only know the sad spectacle her life has become.

Let’s not forget Amy Winehouse is more than a quick headline or a shocking photograph. She’s a person with all the fears and anxieties the rest of us have, plus a crazy new level of fame that no one trained her how to deal with. Intensely creative people are often prone to addictions, depression and needy behavior. She’s hardly the first, and she won’t be the last.

Sometimes in life we get lost. We don’t trust our innate sense of what we need, and we lean on the wrong people who are themselves incapable of leading us back to our true path. Amy Winehouse and her incarcerated dead-beat husband are a perfect example of this kind of unhealthy co-dependency.

Luckily for Amy, and all of us who have ever lost our way in life, EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY. Every day we get to choose how to define ourselves, and falling down in life is nothing to be ashamed of. We all fall down and behave in ways we later regret. This is how we learn who we are and what life is all about.

Only, some of us have our demons aired to the entire world and are subjected to ridicule. Not only does this create the illusion that a single event or mistake defines a person, but it destroys an already fragile person’s sense of self.

I hope 2008 is the year of Amy Winehouse, the Comeback Queen. I hope these Grammy wins convince her that she deserves saving. Everybody does.

In a world full of MTV plastic pretty girls and big bad Hip-Hop dudes, we need the originality of Amy Winehouse. If you have no idea who Amy is beyond the world of tabloid trash, then check out You Know I’m No Good. Pure genius.
Photo provided by vulnerableeyes

I’ll let you know up front, today I’m going to rant. Why?

Because I opened up MSN Messenger this morning and what was the first news item headlining MSN Today? Britney Bloody Spears.

Now, I have nothing against Britney and the rest of her lip syncing, scantily clad peers, but there is something seriously wrong with the world when the most prolific news story day in and day out is the slow and cringe worthy demise of a fading pop star.

Let’s be honest, Britney hasn’t been known for her music in years. Not unless you count her stumbling performance at the MTV awards last September. Most of 2007 saw her hit the news stands for her lack of knickers, bad mothering skills, driving mishaps, custody battles and possible substance abuse problems. Are these acts titilating? Sure, but they’re hardly worthy of lead headlines.

I’m not saying I don’t understand why this woman is constant news. I do. Every move she makes begs for attention - it’s as if she only feels she exists if someone is there to photograph her. And this constant exposure to every facet of her life makes the rest of us feel like we have a vested interest in watching her train wreck of a life. But this is an illusion. We do not know Britney Spears. We are not her friends. Indeed, we are part of her problem, she’s just too fucked up to see it.

When we participate in the paparazzi circus by buying the magazines that print the invasive photos and scandalous articles, when we watch and provide ratings to her every struggle, we feed the monster that is eating this woman’s dignity. The problem of course is human nature. Most of us find it hard to look away when the mighty fall. A little piece of us - not the loving, empathetic part, maybe not even the conscious part - feels intrigued, and maybe even a little happy that someone who has so much could screw up her life so spectacularly. And not just her life, but her children’s as well.

I don’t live in the USA, but can all problem parents in custody disputes get a new court date every few weeks? I think not. I am sure many mothers and fathers who have had their visitation stripped go months waiting for a chance to plead their case again. But not Britney Spears. She’s there at least once or twice a month, in between clubbing, shopping, having sex with the paparazzi and running red lights. And they say justice is blind…

Now, I know I’m not saying anything new here, and I really don’t mean to sound sanctimonious because I can be a gossip glutton as much as the next shopper in the supermarket queue, but it’s time this stopped. IT IS TIME THE WORLD LOOKED AWAY FROM BRITNEY SPEARS.

Following the self destruction of a vulnerable, possibly mentally ill, young woman is not news. It’s just sad, and it diminishes all of us. It doesn’t matter that Britney courts the attention, hungers for it even, this is part of her sickness. I don’t know whether she’s bi-polar or pathologically narcissistic, but Britney Spears needs professional help. And that help is unlikely to be sought until she hits rock bottom, because as long as her every move is in the spotlight and she is the object of sniggering jokes, she won’t get it.

Take away her kids, take away her audience, take away her special treatment. Shock her like you do an out-of-control child. Let’s just get out of the way so the real people in her life - her family, her friends - can take care of her. Britney Spears doesn’t need us. We are nobody.

photo by CDs single