When I started SHE-POWER Women with the beautiful Jemi, I always had in mind that I would do a partner interview series of SHE-POWER Men.

Like the women’s interview series, SHE-POWER Men is about celebrating ordinary men who live their lives in extraordinary, yet simple ways. Men who like and respect women. Men who strive to live with integrity and honesty.

Clay Collins was always my first choice to kick off SHE-POWER Men. His alternative productivity blog, The Growing Life is somewhat of a blogging phenomenon - over 1000 subscribers by the end of its second month. Then there’s his guest articles at blogs such as Dumb Little Man, Zenhabits, Write to Done and Copyblogger, making Clay one of blogging’s new rising stars.

But most of all I chose Clay Collins because he’s a smart and interesting man with a lot to say and a gifted writer with a truly fresh approach. He’s also been a great blogging buddy of mine and has an easy charm and sincerity that I really wanted to capture for SHE-POWER Men. And if you’ve ever read the Dedication to his Grandparents on The Growing Life then you’ll know why I’m voting him Blogging Bachelor of the Year.

Here is Clay Collins talking life, women, blogs, politics and more.

My idea of the perfect weekend is…

Waking up next to someone awesome, going for a run in the arboretum (or a long bike ride), having a picnic outside with friends, listening to some NPR, and doing some writing.

My mother always told me…

My mother is amazing. My mom always tells me to “be good.” The dialogue goes something like this:

———
Me: talk to you later, mom.

Mom: OK, Clay. Be good.

Me: [Sigh]. I’ll be good mom.

Mom: And you know what that means, Clay.

Me: Yeah, mom, I know what that means.

Mom: It means take care of yourself.

Me: I know. Thanks mom. I love you.

———
In this day and age, so many parents coerce their children into getting good grades, obtaining a respectable career, etc. Parents too frequently convey the notion that “being good” means towing the societal line. So I’m eternally grateful that my mom taught me that being good simply means doing what’s right for me and taking care of myself (physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc.). Taking care of myself, of course, also means taking care of others, because doing our part to lift each other up is a basic human need.

My mom also tried to brainwash me into thinking that I could do whatever I wanted to do. She always told me that “you can do whatever you want if you really want it.” For better or worse, the brainwashing attempts were successful.

What’s your favorite blog to read? Which is most overrated?

Melissa Pierce’s blog is damn cool. And my friend Laurie also has a pretty awesome blog as well. This blog is also pretty fantastic. I also really like 1000 Cuts by Monk Mojo.

The productivity/self-development blogosphere has its share of approval-seeking and overly sensitive writers, and it’s nice to see someone having fun with the whole genre. (Yes, it’s true that Monk Mojo’s made me look like a badass but his blog would probably be a favorite regardless). Rolf Potts vagabonding blog is also damn cool. That man’s my hero.

The problem I have with most self-help/productivity blogs is that they flood us with tips (we’ve hit the TIP tipping point and things have gone WAY too far). If I need to acquire a new skill, or am looking for a list of 100 motivation hacks, then I’ll go to Google.

What I want in my feed reader is (1) good & artful writing, and (2) perspective. I’m looking for creative non-fiction.

My most defining moment was…

When I discovered life and my adult self in Ghana, and when I returned from Ghana to Minneapolis and built a new reality. Like Ethan Zukerman, my heart’s in Accra. I want to go back.

Where do you hope to be in 10 years time?

Writing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like so many others, I love writing. I could do it all day. I don’t have issues with writers block, or passion. I just don’t have the time to write 24/7 and a man’s got to make a living. So my dream is to have enough money to feed my family and children, enough time to write, and to be somewhat well-received as an author. It’s nice to know that your work is being read.

What makes you angry and/or sad?

Oh god. HP technical support in Bangalore really pisses me off. President Bush. Military solutions to non-military problems. Hunger really makes me sad because it’s a problem that doesn’t have to exist. Xenophobia, water boarding, and human rights violations also get me worked up.

Do you think men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?

No I don’t. I’d recommend taking a look at two great books: Sperm Wars and The Red Queen.

Do you vote?

Absolutely. If you don’t then you’re partially responsible for this mess we’re in.

If YES, is there anything (eg. a scandal) that would change your mind about your preferred candidate?

Oh sure. If I found out about several covered-up connections between Barack Obama and big business then I’d have to reassess my preference.

Do you regard yourself as a “good catch”? Why or why not?

As always, it depends. I like trying new things so dating me usually involves trying out different camp sites, making new recipes, swimming in new bodies of water, going on impromptu road trips, and good substantive conversations combined with a healthy dose of nonsense.

That said, I’m meeting more and more women these days who are looking to start a family and want a guy to be (in part) infrastructure for their lives (or an enabler for a laundry list of goals). I’m not that guy right now. Someday I’ll want to be a father and when that day comes I’ll probably embrace a more conventional approach to relationships, but until that day comes I’m unlikely to be infrastructure for someone else’s life. I’ll welcome certain things when I’m ready but I’m not there yet.

I really hope that this doesn’t sound misogynistic.

At what point will you feel that you and The Growing Life are a success?

I think it’s already a success and I’m happy with who I am as a person. TGL’s a success because my readers and I are on the same page. When I write something that really resonates with me it also tends to resonate with them. I really didn’t know what to think when I started TGL, but I ended up with 200 subscribers the first month and 800 the second. Everything else feels like gravy. Life is good.

And a Few Questions From The Readers…

What is the biggest change you plan to make in your life this year?

Question courtesy of Cath Lawson

I really don’t know. I honestly haven’t thought about it very much. I’m really not very goal oriented. I’d like to buy a condo and Minneapolis and start laying down very deep roots there, so maybe that’s it.

Settling down, family, marriage: looking forward to, or scared of?

Question courtesy of Vered@MomGrind

Children are great and I’ll happily commit to someone when I’m ready to have children. Probably not earlier. Getting married prematurely, however, scares me sh*tless.

Do you think men remember romantic/relationship events like women do? Eg. First kiss

Question courtesy of Charlotte@CharmedLife

I actually think guys are far more sentimental than women. Guys savor deep emotional connections because they happen much less frequently. So while guys seem to be FAR TOO LOGICAL most of the time, those intense emotional moments are driven much deeper into our psyches because they’re peak experiences.

Was there ever a time when you considered giving up on your blog?

Question courtesy of Chris@WatdaWat

Not really. The whole experience has been great. Sometimes I think I should be spending more time on my book proposal and less time on blog entries, but I don’t think The Growing Life will be going away anytime soon. It’s too much fun, and growing far too fast, for me to put down.

Thanks

Clay

Photo 1 of Clay and friend
Photo 2 provided by StewieD
Photo 3 provided by hjl

I love trivia and learning new things, so I tend to read far and wide. The following is a list of 25 Fast Facts About Women Around the World. Some are quirky, some serious, and others are just downright depressing. I tried to offer a balance of each, and hope that there’s something to make you smile, as well as something to make you think.

Here’s the 25 that got my attention and made the list.

1. 80% of the 50 million people around the world who are affected by violent conflicts, civil wars, disasters, and displacement are women and children

2. In 2004, 48.8% of the seats held in parliament in Rwanda were held by women. Contrast that to Cuba where 36% of the seats were held by women, and the USA, where 14.3 % of the seats were held by women. Saudi Arabia and the Solomon Islands are just two countries where there are no women in parliament (UNDP, Human Development Report 2004)

3. In 76 countries, less than half the eligible girls are enrolled in secondary school

4. Women own only 1% of the world’s land

5. Approximately three million women in the USA sport tattoos

6. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee

7. 43% of Australian marriages end in divorce. of those who remarry, 65% of them will divorce again. By the time you try for marriage number 3, your chance of getting divorced is about 75%

8. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth

9. It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary

10. In parts of Malaya, the women keep harems of men

11. The two highest IQ’s ever recorded (on a standard test) both belong to women

12. In Kenya where 38% of the farms are run by women, those women manage to harvest the same amount per hectare (2.47 acres) as men, despite men having greater access to loans, advice, fertilizers, hybrid seeds, insecticides. And when women were given the same level of help, they were found to be more efficient than men, and produced bigger harvests

13. Over half a million women die in childbirth every year in Africa and Asia

14. Nearly 1/2 of all Indonesian women have had their first child by the time they are 17

15. In the USA, unintended pregnancies account for almost half of all pregnancies

16. According to The World Health Org., 40 per cent of girls aged 17 or under in South Africa are reported to have been the victim of rape or attempted rape

17. In Sweden, 76% of mothers work, the highest percentage in the developed world

18. Australia, New Zealand and the US are among a handful of governments that do not require women to be paid some form of maternity leave. In countries as diverse as Russia, Colombia, Laos and Morocco, the government foots the entire bill for three to six months of maternity leave

19. By age 55, 95% of all U.S. women have married

20. In 2007 the world’s richest self-made woman was Ms Zhang Yin, a Chinese paper recycling entrepreneur

21. Only 5% of Hollywood feature films are directed by women

22. Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they’re sold door to door, by women

23. Seventy percent of women would rather have chocolate than sex (Poll taken in a 1995 women’s magazine)

24. Australian women have sex on the first date more than women the same age in the USA and Canada

25. China is considered the next big marketing opportunity for the tobacco industry because only 3.8% of Chinese women smoke, compared with 63 % of adult males

When you research the state of women around the world, I am sad to say that finding inspiring facts and figures is difficult. There is much that I left off this list, simply because I didn’t want to send everyone into a black mood for the day!

We may look around at progress in developed countries and feel women are better off than they’ve ever been, but we are such a minority. The story is completely different for much of the world’s women, who are suffering from the same persecution, and deplorable health and living conditions that they’ve endured for centuries. I’ll try to remember that the next time I’m complaining about my life.

If you have access to a computer, shelter, breakfast in your tummy and are able to read this, then you already have so much to be grateful for.

Have a great day.

Kelly


Photo by elchapincito.

If you have ever so much as glanced through this blog, you will know I am all for the empowerment of women. With this in mind, Hillary Clinton should be my obvious choice for the next US presidency, but in reality it’s not that simple. I am a human being before I am a woman, and as a human being I believe that the world cannot afford another wily politician in the White House.

Whether we like it or not, the President of the United States of America is the most powerful leader in the world. His/her decisions and policies have an enormous impact on world peace, environmental progress, and the global economy. Here in Australia, our government has had a very long and dependent relationship with the USA, which means a change in the presidency has a trickle down effect which can have a very real and negative impact on the lives of ordinary Australians. Just ask the Australian troops sent to Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam and Kuwait .

In many ways the world is at the mercy of the United States, and this means it matters to all of us who sits in the Oval Office. After the chaos and war mongering of the Bush years, the world needs new hope, integrity, inclusiveness, peace. It needs the quiet confidence and vision of Barack Obama. Sorry Hillary, you’re just too polished and false.

Of course, this is all irrelevant because I don’t get to vote in the US elections, and either Clinton or Obama still has to beat a Republican in the final race. But, I’m going to be optimistic here and assume a Democrat is going to be the next President of the United States, and that Democrat should be Barack Obama. In a world on the edge, where everything is spin and too little is being done to lead us into a new day, a visionary leader is what we need. A leader with conviction, someone who actually cares and doesn’t just mouth the right words.

That’s why I wish I could vote for Barack Obama as President. That’s why YOU should vote for Barack Obama. Vote for someone who believes in a better, fairer America. A better, fairer world. Just once. Just once.

And for those who want real convincing, check out this great article by Caroline Kennedy, A President Like My Father. She says all that needs to be said.

Kelly

Photo provided by gabriel_michael

photo by PAKlSTAN
Unless you’ve been living under a rock this past fortnight, you’ll know that the former Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto, was assassinated by a reported Al Kaeda suicide bomber on Thursday, 27 December 2007. If you’re not overly political and live in a western country, then there’s a good chance this news does not mean anything to you. Pakistan is very far away, maybe you know almost nothing about it, or maybe your only thoughts of Pakistan are of it being a country full of “crazy Muslims” and potential terrorists.

Whether you agree with any of these sentiments, it doesn’t change the fact that the assassination of Benzir Bhutto is something we should all care about. This was a woman who deserves to be remembered, and not just by her countrymen. A woman whose courage, determination and passion should be celebrated. So, here’s why I’m toasting the life of the great Benazir Bhutto. May she rest in peace.

• She was the first female to ever be ELECTED as leader of a Muslim nation. Any Muslim nation. Considering the place women generally hold in this faith, this is an amazing achievement

• She was democratically elected to this office not once, but TWICE

• Despite the fact that she had been run out of her country and was living comfortably in exile, AND she knew her life would be targeted if she ran for office again, Benazir Bhutto returned to Pakistan in 2007 and positioned herself as the candidate to beat in the coming election. She kept up her political rallies and refused to hide away from the people who loved her and turned out in thousands to welcome her home. Unfortunately, this was also what killed her: she was shot in the head as she stood up to wave to her adoring crowds from her bullet proof car

• She was a symbol. A symbol for hope for many of the people of Pakistan, including the poor and Pakistani women, who believed she was the key to their gaining equal rights in a country where honor killings are still rampant

• Despite being imprisoned and fearing for her own life and that of her family, Benazir Bhutto fought to save her persecuted father, ex-Prime Minister Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, from the gallows before his eventual execution by Pakistan’s military dictatorship in 1979. She then vowed to continue his legacy and became the leader of his Pakistan People’s Party

• And in a world struggling to keep the forces of fundamentalism at bay, Benazir Bhutto should be honored as a woman who truly believed in a free and democratic Pakistan. A woman who never gave up the hope that she could recapture her country from the Muslim extremists who have dogged Pakistan for so long

Benazir Bhutto was a woman with vision, a sense of purpose. A purpose, which even when attacked, she would not desert. Benazir Bhutto knew her persistence and single minded focus could end her life one day, but this did not stop her. That takes courage. Courage of conviction and self, and that is something we should all commend.

Idealism seems out of fashion in today’s world. In countries everywhere there is war, fear and the grabbing pressures of capitalism out of control. We are probably more frightened and tense today than we have ever been in history. Particularly if you consider how much of our fear is based on “maybes”. Things that may happen. We may have a terrorist attack. Our Islamic citizens may turn on us. If we don’t have a deregulated workplace, we may be more open to economic recession. It’s all fear. Paralysing, unproductive fear. Where is the hope in this kind of thinking?

Here in Australia we are counting down to an election. It hasn’t been called yet, but everyone knows it’s coming, and most likely by the end of the year. I’m going to be open and say that I want the Australian Labor Party to win this election. In fact, I am desperate for labor to win this election.

Our current Prime Minister, the un -honorable John Howard has had 10 years to leave his mark on our country and I fear that it will take at least another 10 years to undo the damage he has wrought. From his anti-Republican agenda which confused the population into vetoing a referendum which would give us an Australian Head of State (a radical suggestion I know…) to his demonising of desperate refugees and subsequent locking them up for years on end, roasting away in scorching desert ovens… I mean prisons. Outright lies about Iraq, even after looking the other way while The Australian Wheat Board bribed the murderous Saddam Hussein for his business. This government has been at an all time moral low for some time. Somehow John Howard has managed to slide through three elections, but I’m praying this will be his last.

More than my dislike of John Howard, I want a new government because I want to have HOPE again. I want to believe that someone is going to rule our country with an agenda for change. An agenda that comes from their belief in what Australia needs. To be honest, I think most leaders would be jaded after 10 years in power. It’s too long. No one should stay in government that long. Australian people take note. No human being will give you his best for 10 years, and that is what we deserve in government. The best.

So, I’m putting my vote behind Kevin Rudd, and hoping that a poor Qld farm boy who talks of equality, a greener future, more funding for education and the traditional Australian ideal of a “fair go” actually believes it and will make us believe it again.

I say be idealistic. Have a picture in your head of the country you want to live in. Be passionate about our children deserving a better future, a secure future. Don’t listen to people who tell you all politicans are the same. They are not. Because people are not the same. Let us demand a leader for our nation, not a media savvy politician who has proven time and time again that he does not care what is best for us, he only cares what is best for the corporations that donate to him.

Have you heard that song by PINK, Dear Mr President? It is the most heartfelt acoustic song I have heard in years. That is a woman who believes, who is not ashamed to be idealistic. We can have jobs and still take care of our less fortunate citizens. We can help others while still helping ourself. Good economic management and ethics and integrity are not mutually exclusive. Make sure you tell John Howard that at the next election.

photo by spike55151

I found this video on YOUTUBE, where a young guy named Will Albino walks through the Padua Academy in the USA asking the female students there to sign a petition to end women’s suffrage. As you might guess from the title of my post, scores of young women not only sign the petition, but show they have absolutely no idea what it is, with one student saying “women’s suffrage is really bad”.Now, we must allow for selective editing here. Maybe just as many women didn’t sign, but were not included because let’s face it, a 50/50 split wouldn’t make a point would it? However, it does make me question what basics our kids are not taught in school today. Have English and History gone out of fashion? And in a country like the USA, where voting is voluntary and only 54% of eligible voters cast their ballots in any particular election, I have to wonder if these women would still sign the petition even knowing what it was. Maybe Paris Hilton should do an advertisement encouraging people to vote, then young women might actually know what suffrage is. In Australia, I can’t say the situation is much better. While we have compulsory voting for all eligible citizens, nothing can make apathetic people (anyone under 30?) care enough to give their vote the consideration and thought it deserves. As for our education system, again I would say our young people are faring badly. If any of the Big Brother contestants this year are representative of their Generation Y peers, teenagers can’t spell and reading went out of fashion with the yo-yo. Then again, when you’re 18 years old and wear t-shirts with Porn Star emblazoned across your tits, while singing “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me”, maybe you never see a reason why you would need an education, or even that pesky right to vote.